When I was a wee Goggle Bob, I used to make videogames. That is to say, I was a child, I had zero attention span, my parents provided scrap paper and a pencil, and I would relentlessly sketch out videogame ideas. From about the ages of 8-12, I storyboarded about 12,000 different concepts for videogames. And, while I would love to claim that I was a precious and precocious child that produced nothing but the finest designs, in truth, I was not all that creative. I was more innovative than whoever established the rules for the XFL, but my big ideas were merely game concepts smooshed up against other game concepts. Mario should have a slide like Mega Man! Kirby should explore a whole planet like Metroid (née Samus). Every videogame character ever should be in Street Fighter 2. And then I would just “make” a game where Mario had to trudge through Mega Man’s Hard Man stage, or Sabin Figaro would fight Zangief.
Looking back from 2026, I must acknowledge that I was barely old enough to understand the nuances of MacGyver, so I really should not judge my child self harshly. The drive was obvious: I would play something new and exciting, and then experience a perfectly natural urge to drag all my “old friends” into the latest hotness. It is no different than preserving your Transformers so they could fight the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Party Bus (note to younger readers: there was a time before all media properties became an indivisible sludge, and the “latest fad” of the ninja turtles was considered the death kneel of transforming robots). I realize now that dropping Link into Kirby’s Dreamland would be a blunder on par with the Strait of Hormuz, but when I saw with a child’s eyes, it was my bold vision of the future.
And apparently someone else saw that future, too, as today’s game is “what if Sonic the Hedgehog was a mediocre Metroid”.
… Or maybe that one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle game? The third Gameboy one? Whatever! Point is that it is not a good fit!
Let’s get the basics out of the way. Today we are looking at Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal. This was the 2014 3DS title that was released to match Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric for the Nintendo WiiU. If, like most people, all of your memories of a world before 2016 are akin to a hazy dream you wish you could see again in your lifetime, you may dimly recall that Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric was a legendarily disparaged game. Comparatively, Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal being the portable “little brother” of Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric seemed to shield it from similar criticisms/speed-run strategies that involve Knuckles clipping through the center of the Earth. Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal has the general reputation of being a “forgotten” Sonic the Hedgehog 2-D action title that had the misfortune of following noteworthy portable releases like Sonic Colors (2010) and Sonic Generations (2011), but before Sonic Mania (2017) taught us all how to love again. “It’s there, it’s not as repugnant as its console sibling, and you could play something better,” seems to be the popular opinion of Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal.
Dear readers, let me set the record straight: Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal is so much worse than its reputation.
This is a Sonic the Hedgehog game designed by someone who watched other Sonic the Hedgehog games. You will see Sonic and his furry friends dash through levels at high speed, defy gravity through loop-the-loops, and grind on rails with a radicalness unimaginable to all but the coolest of spots. But the difference here? These continual bouts of “sonic speed” are effectively cinema scenes in Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal. Whenever Sonic does things that are identifiably “Sonic-like” during gameplay, you have absolutely no control over his movement. Dash panels move you along, and, once you are through a highspeed area, a shutter closes behind you. The essence of a 2-D Sonic the Hedgehog is only smoke and mirrors! It might look good in a trailer or in a demo kiosk, but when you actually play these stages, you realize almost immediately that you will never experience the essential rush of for-real playing as Sonic.
But what has replaced it? Well, Sonic slowly and methodically meanders through a collectathon. Sonic still has his homing attack, can utilize an electric-shield-esque double jump, and his signature move (more on that in a minute) is an air-dash. All of these abilities are surprisingly slow and extremely situational. The intended gameplay appears to be a methodical “see hazard, use matching ability.” Homing attacks are for opponents (but not badniks, as they forgot to show up), double jumps are for high ledges, and the air dash is predominantly used to shatter large, blue blocks. The collectathon aspect is featured in one of two ways: sometimes there are malevolent robots positioned in such a way to encourage homing attack-based climbing, or you often find a collectible for proceeding past the obvious door (well, slingshot) to the next area. It is not quite shoving Sonic against potential invisible walls to find secrets, but it is very much a situation where nearly every checkpoint is another excuse to stop and look around for a nearby suspicious block. In short, Sonic the Hedgehog, the fastest thing alive, is encouraged at every opportunity to stop, observe his surroundings, and slowly consider his next move.
What of Sonic’s slower pals? Once everyone is unlocked (by about the fourth level), you have a full complement of Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles “Tails” Prower, Knuckles the Echidna, and Sticks the Badger, and you can switch between any of the four at any time. That’s cool! Except all you get from your team is four different ways to conquer different obstacles. Sonic has the previously mentioned air dash. Sticks has her boomerang, and that has a late-Zelda controllable property that allows her to hit switches at weird angles. Knuckles can dig through the ground at designated locations. And Tails can use his signature tails to catch drafts and “fly” whenever you see some fans. Note that Tails cannot fly without a designated draft. Additionally, Knuckles cannot glide, climb, or utilize his namesake knuckles in any capacity beyond digging. This is bad and feels bad. You will steer Knuckles into a bottomless pit because you reflexively thought he could glide a little extra distance, and you will similarly get confused every time tapping a button again for Tails only triggers a double jump. Sticks makes out the best because she has no expectations! Maybe this game would have been better if it was just Sticks.
At least then we would not have to deal with Sonic the Hedgehog: The ‘Hog with a Grappling Hook.
Everyone has a double jump, homing attack, spin dash, and signature move. Additionally, everyone gets an enerbeam that has two capabilities. Some opponents have shields, and you must remember to consume precious seconds of your life to press A and disable an enemy’s shield before utilizing your usual homing attack. And the other enerbeam potential? It is a grappling hook. A warning for readers who love grappling hooks: it is boring. There are pod-bots that hover motionlessly in many areas, and any time you see one, that means you have to use your grapple enerbeam to make some vertical/horizontal progress. It is another square peg that has to go in a square hole, and it is insulting. You can do so much with a grappling hook! Entire games have been built on this mechanic! And maybe Sonic could utilize grappling in a dynamic way in some other game. But, nope, anytime you see a grappling point, it just means you have to press A a couple of times to make progress. The designers do not even have the decency to provide one “spin all the way around a grapple point” occasion like in Super Metroid!
So strip the speed out of Sonic, and all you are left with is a crappy metroidvania. Each of the levels are (thankfully) not overtly connected, but these large, sprawling areas could be interconnected in a manner similar to Mega Man ZX or Wonder Boy. You all but need the in-game map to navigate these same-y corridors and looping, disconnected doors (still slingshots, still not explaining that). Assuming you do not get lost, once you understand your own moveset and its matching blocks, the only real challenge is collecting those collectibles. Despite the potential for such, this is not a Lost Vikings-esque puzzle game where you must intuit new and exciting ways to exploit your party’s powers; no, this is simply a challenge for preschoolers that are still working out their colors. Red animal go in dirt hole, brown animal hit switch. By the time you have your last party member (they make you earn those Knuckles), you have seen literally everything this adventure has to offer. But you still have 75% of the game to play…
Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal is exactly the kind of experience I would have “invented” when I was ten. It is “what if Sonic the Hedgehog and his pals could do all these cool moves from other games I’ve enjoyed.” It is also a glowing example of why that is a bad idea, so we don’t let ten-year-olds make videogames.
FGC #749 Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal
System: This is just the 3DS version. We are not even going to try its WiiU sibling.- Number of players: Despite having four animal buddies, this is single player.
- Story Time: You may have noticed that Amy Rose is not part of the playable roster. That is because she is kidnapped by the big boss, Lyric the Ancient Snake. This whole adventure is meant to be a prequel to the Sonic Boom series, and it explains why the Sonic Team is always fighting against their hated enemy, Lyric the Ancient Snake. But you knew that! Because Lyric the Ancient Snake is in every episode! Not like there is another, more prominent villain that ever appears in Sonic the Hedgehog or Sonic Boom canon.
- But Shadow is there, right? Yes, Shadow the Hedgehog has been brainwashed by Lyric the Ancient Snake.
He looks like he is having a fun time.
- Sonic Got a Chaos Emerald: Every world contains one “Worm Tunnel” stage that is an excuse for Sonic to run through a halfpipe. If this were a traditional Sonic the Hedgehog, these would be bonus stages triggered by flagpoles, but, because everything in this game is garbage, they are mandatory. The stages are… passable. It is not the worst halfpipe in the franchise (looking at you, Sonic the Hedgehog 2), but it feels really pointless.
- And do you even get a Chaos Emerald? No. Of course not.
- Beat the Boss: Boss stages have mostly been replaced by race stages similar to Sonic Rivals. Yes, that is the greatest insult one can levy against a Sonic the Hedgehog game, but at least these races are short. The downside is that they really emphasize how there is zero level design across this game, so once you have memorized a chain of “jump, grapple, jump again” actions, you will be victorious forever. Come to think of it, it is basically Mega Man 8 snowboarding, which is a different kind of terrible.
- Say something nice: The cutscenes are more animated than talking heads. Given Sonic Boom was a fine little animated series, it is nice to see that personality shine through all this darkness.
- Say something nice (gameplay): Pits do not cause instant death, and just act like a “hit” while returning you to safe footing. That is literally the only nice thing I can say about actually playing this game.
An End: Completing the game and finding all the doodads unlocks a dance party starring Sonic and all of his friends (including Amy!). Of course, no one put any effort into these dancing animations. It looks like what would happen if you went to a nursing home, dressed up five randos in fursuits, and told them to go wild (and they are not particularly wild). Guess this could be a fun reward if you are into that.- For the Sequel: I also played a little bit of Sonic Boom: Fire and Ice, the 3DS sequel to Shattered Crystal. It appears to be more of the same, but even more on the nose, as Sonic and Amy have to alternate to use new fire and ice powers. I suppose the designers should be lauded for doubling down on their stupid idea.
- Did you know? You can “train with Knuckles” once a (real-life) day for in game currency. So someone understood enough about Sonic to realize which character the players would most want to interact with every day.
- Would I play again: I am not going to dignify that question with an answer.
What’s next? The Smash Bros Challenge returns by stealing a gaze at Dark Pit. That’s right, the darkest Smash Bros[citation needed] for the spookiest season! Please look forward to it!
