Category Archives: Chrono Cross

Chrono Cross 10: The Ends

We missed these guysViper Manor is an integral part of Chrono Cross. And, befitting such a centerpiece of the game, there are three entirely different, entirely separate routes to Viper Manor. You can scale a cliff with Guile, fight through a forest with Nikki, or storm the front gates with Pierre. All three routes have their own puzzles and challenges, and all three routes come with one new party member and distinct treasures (of the more physical variety, though making friends with Pierre is still the greatest treasure of all). And, given selecting any route means excluding your other two choices, it is 100% mandated that you cannot see all the content Chrono Cross has to offer on one play through. Unlike Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross has a significant reason to utilize New Game+ and play through this multiple-choice adventure again.

And then there is the other significant branch in Chrono Cross: do you hunt the hydra for Kid? And if you choose the obvious “Route B”, and decide not to start an ecological disaster for the strange thief lady you just met…. Well… nothing happens. There is no alternate scenario, you just get a handful of different characters (two quickly/mandatory, one other eventually), and the normal plot of the game continues aplomb, just minus a trip across dimensions to a swamp. Oh, excuse me, the plot does not continue exactly the same, as there is a gigantic plot hole (or at least plot confusion) wherein someone apparently acquired hydra humor, but the hydra in a completely different dimension still died, presumably of natural causes. So, to make a long paragraph short: one “branch” is clearly the “real” plot of Chrono Cross, and the other option is just an excuse to hide some characters behind a choice that is proven to never have been a choice at all. And, no, you do not get a bonus dungeon out of the deal.

And, ladies and gentlemen, that is Chrono Cross through and through.

Keep it cleanDeptford hit the nail on the head during his guest stint: Chrono Cross is a game where “individual moments are great”. There has not been an update here where there was not at least something cool happening at some point. There may have been a boring haunted ship, but we got to use a magical luchador through it all. The Isle of the Damned may have been an annoying puzzle that was already outdated on the NES, but it came to an amazing climax with a ghost giant. Dragon hunting can get boring, but at least someone thought to include a rock opera in there. And, in today’s example, we have the fact that there are three whole separate scenarios with interesting locales, characters, and challenges in one branch of the game, and the next branch immediately after that has… Glenn as a consolation prize? It is a lot nicer to say that than “a fat lot of nothing”…

I cannot in good conscious call Chrono Cross a bad game. It is a game full of moments, all stitched together in a manner that make a lot of its other moments look terrible. The direction of the game is not great, and the plot barely holds together. But there are so many remarkable moments in between, it can all be forgiven. Lynx is a great visual design! Just don’t think about the thinly-veiled plot justification for “this cat man is a super computer and also your father” making absolutely zero sense! The resolution of Schala is something Chrono Trigger fans begged for for five years, so please don’t think too hard about the process of scientists in 2300 AD somehow forcing a space bug to birth a baby clone in 1005 AD on Lucca’s doorstop. It is ridiculous, but the only thing surprising about it is that the producers then didn’t try to paste on an even more ridiculous justification for Kid’s Australian accent (we know for a fact she grew up with Lucca in Guardia! Where would she even learn the word “strewth”!?). And, while we are on the subject of Chrono Cross somehow being good or bad because of its choices, consider the battle system, which is a germ of a good idea that simply never evolves into something that is consistent. How do you do the most damage in Chrono Cross? Playing with colors? Summons? Focusing on physical attacks? Who the heck knows. And I can certainly say this person that has devoted hours to the game has no idea. At least there aren’t any relevant super bosses!

Kind of familiarSo this is Chrono Cross. It is a mess. But is it bad? No, it has too much good to ever truly be bad. Chrono Cross is all over the place, but its marvelous highs justify its horrendous lows.

Oh, and the music is unequivocally, universally good.

… Except the battle theme, the song you probably hear the most…

Dammit! I’m going it again!

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 10


Original Stream Night: August 2, 2022

Recruited this stream:

  • Guile
  • Macha
  • Doc
  • Pierre (in another timeline)

Random Notes on the Stream

  • Ajvark joins us for a revisit to Termina “like from Majora’s Mask”. No, it does not get mooned.
  • We’re going for Guile!
  • This is the path of least resistance… and Guile is pretty cool. Still no Magus, though…
  • Fanboymaster and I once again disagree on the merits of Final Fantasy 8 versus Final Fantasy 9 as we climb cliffs.
  • “The plan is there is going to be ten weeks of Chrono Cross, and then I’ll start Xenogears.” Guess what is next week, ladies and gentlemen!
  • Maybe wear a helmetAs we return to Balthy’s library, we discuss that other Let’s Play that is going on.
  • BEAT evidently did not read the Wild Arms 2 Let’s Play which features far too much twincest.
  • After the Viper Manor raid, you know you are a certain age when you say, “Do you want to hear my funny ICQ story?”
  • We recruit Macha and Glenn, and then head for… the exact same pirate ship we fought through the last time. No Hydra Marsh, no replacement for the Hydra Marsh.
  • Let’s talk about how many crappy Blaster Master games are out there!
  • I apologize for the fact that I did not rename Zoah to ZOAH on the previous playthrough.
  • We swing by Marbule and talk about the terrible Marvel comics featuring Aunt May getting laid.
  • “Is he strong, listen punk, he’s got radioactive spunk.”
  • Brave Fencer Musashi is suggested as a next stream game around the same time Kid comes out of her coma. Now we know what is going to be played next, even if it won’t be on the site next.
  • Caliscrub stops in just as we get Serge, Poshul, and Doc to fight Lavos.
  • They so angry!Is Lavos dead yet? We learn that Minecraft, Xenoblade Chronicles, and not much else is New 3DS Exclusive before finally seeing the “angry girlfriends ending” of Chrono Cross.
  • The finer points of Guilty Gear, Venom, and Dizzy are discussed as we finally recruit the last character on the stream, Pierre.
  • And, finally, the battle against Ketchop closes out Chrono Cross. Ketchop is not a lady piloting a giant old man robot.

Next time on Even Worse Streams: Let’s find religion!

Maybe next time

Chrono Cross 09: Final Boss(es)

Big ol' tickChrono Cross was always a complicated, labyrinthian mess of a game. From the focused infiltration mission of Viper Manor to the redundant and roach-infested remix of the intrusion a few hours later, Chrono Cross never quite knows when to let sleeping dogs lie. There is a dungeon exploring a vision of the future, another dungeon exploring a different vision of the future, and then we cap things off with a dungeon that is a vision of the future and the past (and a dinosaur). And at least one of those future dungeons (it’s the last one) ends with an epic, dramatic boss battle against a morphing opponent that is clearly intended to be the final boss.

And once you beat it, then you get to fight another, more complicated final boss.

We have not come today to roast Chrono Cross’s significant pacing problems. A gigantic dungeon followed by an arduous boss fight (and six extra boss fights in between) should never be followed by talking to ghost children on a one-screen beach before fighting a threat to the universe than cannot even get enough out of its own way to pull off a unique super attack. “Lavos” reeks of a slapdash final addition to the game, and the presentation of everything surrounding it screams of a universe where a bonus finale tying to Chrono Trigger was foisted in at some producer’s behest. We already fought Lavos, guys! And the fight was a lot more interesting last time! There might have been an alien astronaut in there or something!

But, while the final opponent of Chrono Cross is incredibly lackluster, the method of defeating her is not. The Time Devourer may be conquered one of two ways: beat it senseless, or weaponize the harmony of the planet. If you choose to slice and dice what’s left of Lavos, you will see the “bad ending”, but an ending all the same. However, if you acknowledge this is a hostage situation, and the person you are trying to save is, ya know, worth saving, you will be generously rewarded with a Schala/Kid-focused ending that provides a touch more closure. And wasn’t that the whole point of the adventure? To save Schala? I mean, it kind of came out of left field, but it did all line up…. Kinda…

Look at it goLook, it would be easy to be mad at Chrono Cross for trying to have its cake and eat it too with its complicated “real” fight against a dinosaur computer and then a puzzle fight against the true big bad… but you know what? I can count on one hand the number of JRPGs that, up to this very day, end with a boss fight that requires anything but a high strength stat. Are there interesting, intricate final bosses out there? Of course, but so many still boil down to “hit it harder”. The Time Devourer is something different, and, like the rest of Chrono Cross, that is interesting all by itself.

Even if it did mean that nearly everyone else on the stream never bothered to beat Chrono Cross “the real way” before…

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 9

Original Stream Night: June 14, 2022

Recruited this week:

  • Technically we recruited Poshul again during New Game+, I guess

Random Notes on the Stream

  • Welcome to the final dungeon! Let’s discuss other PS1 final dungeons… except they’re kind of samey.
  • Ample Vigour joins almost entirely through groaning.
  • Look at me!Hulk Hogan kept the Pastamania Regalia. You cannot convince me otherwise.
  • Consider “I love the idea of incel Dracula” and other Castlevania spinoff concepts.
  • The final fighting boss appears as we discuss the possibility of a very bouncy King of Fighters JRPG.
  • What is the true nature of Lavos? Is it an astronaut that looks like a heart?… Or… something?
  • The redesign of Schala for Chrono Cross is discussed… but we all agree it is terrible.
  • We beat the game! We are playing it again! BEAT is playing Smash Bros again! My Switch told me!
  • Let’s fight Lavos all over again! And discuss how Final Fantasy 6’s Cyan is catfishing a woman from a cave.
  • And that’s it for Chrono Cross…. Kinda!

Next time on Chrono Cross: Let’s take a look back at the roads not taken.

It's her
Maybe we could go to the beach sometime?

Chrono Cross 08: FATE

Face your FATEIn the end, the resolution of the story of Serge, Lynx, and the Frozen Flame is a bit of a letdown. Lynx reveals that he has been the supercomputer FATE all along, and they have arranged this elaborate plan all so Serge could… open a door. And, while it has been pointed out multiple times on the stream that this plan could have been revised to be more effective (Lynx is secretly Serge’s father mutated into the thing that Serge most fears… but wouldn’t Serge be more cooperative if he was just asked to open a door by his beloved and lost father?), it is a plausible excuse for FATE making some of their more implausible moves across the plot. Need to bodyswap a teenage boy because you can’t find a decent locksmith? Sure! At least it gives the game an excuse to shuffle the supporting characters for six hours…

But while FATE’s whole stupid plan is the stupidest of the stupid, the origin of FATE? Now that is some good stuff.

FATE is a tragedy wholly caused by the events of Chrono Trigger. In one timeline, the enterprising teens of Guardia fired up a computer terminal in some ruins, and discovered the whole of the planet had been destroyed in 1999 by a gigantic space bug. As a result of seeing this catastrophe, they then traveled through thousands of years of history, and, ultimately, destroyed the Lavos creature before it could literally rain destruction from the heavens. This created a new future where, apparently, some spikey thing popped out of the planet, three teenagers crashed a UFO into it, and then everything involved just disappeared. And that would raise some questions, right? First and foremost: what the hell happened? What was that thing? Who were those people? Nobody would be walking around 2000 AD thinking, “Wow, so glad we are not living in an apocalypse right now.” They would all be thinking, “Wait, I’m sorry? Was there a kaiju causing earthquakes for the last thousand years? Could we look into that?”

Behold the genieCenturies pass, and technology progresses. By 2300 AD, mankind has gained the scientific knowledge to look back to the past in all new ways. They find a shard of Lavos, the Frozen Flame, and grow more fascinated by the now-absent Lavos. Aided by Balthasar, a genius transported from an ancient society that was much more intimately familiar with Lavos, they create Chronopolis, a massive facility meant to study what the heck happened three centuries (and 65 million years) earlier.

Chronopolis made a number of mistakes that would never have occurred if Crono and crew were consulted more directly. Researching Lavos? You know that is going to end poorly. Transforming Mother Brain into the FATE supercomputer? Not the route you would take if you knew that another timeline saw Mother Brain literally eating people. And, while apparently Lucca was on hand in some capacity to offer installing Robo as a conscience circuit… well… Nobody ever thought Lucca was the most moral of the Crono kids. She was a heroine, yes, but one with an instant proclivity toward evil laughs. Poor decisions were made in the management of Chronopolis, and, by 2400 AD, the inevitable “Time Crash” screwed up all of history but good.

And it never would have happened if Crono just went ahead and kept his left-handed ass back in 1000 AD. The death of Lucca by Lynx, the dragon-FATE war, and even possibly the militarization of Porre all would have never occurred if our “heroes” never fought to save the world. If Crono had not saved the future, he would have saved his present.

So kudos to Chrono Cross for weaving such a poignant tragedy. The actual machinations of FATE may have been laborious and convoluted, but how we got FATE back in 1020 AD is a catastrophe worth noting.

(Even if the fun parts of the tragedy get rewritten two dungeons later by Balthasar claiming everything was “according to plan” to free Schala from the Time Devourer. But I read comics! I know a hasty retcon meant to justify a final boss when I see one!)

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 8

Original Stream Night: June 7, 2022

Recruited this week:

  • Steena
  • Draggy
  • (Everyone that previously left the party, except Kid)
  • Turnip
  • Miki
  • Orlha
  • Kid (for the final time)
  • Mel


Random Notes on the Stream:

  • Fanboymaster doesn’t think we can finish the game this week. He’s right!
  • BEAT was afraid my tweet-based mentions of FATE meant we were going to do “The cooking game again”. He might have enjoyed that more…
  • Ample Vigour arrives as we beat the last dragon, perhaps with the power of the Glow.
  • “Everybody loves Lou Bega!” “Nobody loves Lou Bega, that’s why I’m doing this!”
  • There is always time to discuss cut Kingdom Hearts Jungle Stages while we fight evil Serge/Lynx.
  • There is debate on the nature of “evolution” in the Chrono Cross universe as Serge is reborn as an extremely smug baby (with no nipples).
  • Caliscrub stops by after we recruit random nonsense like Turnip and Miki
  • Toma fucked a mermaid. But that is okay. Oh, and we are at the Dead Sea/Sea of Eden now.
  • Let’s discuss Segagaga as we get to FATE HQ.
  • Oh! The El Nido Map. I love that thing! Is Gaia’s Navel the Giant’s Claw from Chrono Trigger?
  • Radical Dreamers is hiding on a terminal in another universe. Magil is confirmed separate from Guile in an actual game where Magil appears. Yay for translation mysteries finally being solved.
  • Lynx is FATE! Gasp! May as well discuss Cammy wearing pants.
  • Consider this foreshadowing for a Portal 2 stream as we talk about the reason FATE killed Robo.
  • Sonic Generations features the Time Devourer… meaning it is the sequel to Chrono Cross.
  • Love youEnjoy going back to the past to save Kid and confirm Gato and Lucca are dead! Which death is more upsetting?
  • “So did they make this game to shit on Chrono Trigger?” – Pooch
  • Talkin’ bout Dragon Quest 7 tragedies in the middle of a burning building. This is likely how I will die.
  • Okay! Kid is back! And we got a letter from Lucca meant to make us feel worse.
  • And we create the Chrono Cross! While talking about JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure!
  • And we conclude with the tragedy of Banjo-Tooie while we secure Starky’s ship and fly to the final dungeon.

Next time on Chrono Cross: The end! Update nine of ten!

My nips!

Chrono Cross 07: Dragons

Chrono Cross loves imagining dragons! Look at this chonky boy (well, girl)…

She gets her own isle

The most helpful of the dragons, the Water Dragon, is all smiles and rainbows when you need to chill a volcano, but literally shows her teeth when it is time for a throwdown. And the way she “swims” through the air later? Awesome.

Only a volcano?

And speaking of volcanos, this little guy hulks out to join Master Roshi and Tung Fu Rue in the pantheon of dudes that can turn into muscle maniacs on command. This Fire Dragon is never gracious, but remains polite, when he challenges you to a battle.

Such big teeth you have

Meanwhile, this monster rules the quasi-prehistoric “Savage Land” of Chrono Cross, and is not shy about making it clear you are about to be devoured. And why shouldn’t he? Dang thing is built to deal with tyrannosauruses on the reg.

DO NOT PET

Yet the dragon living deep in the Earth is almost… roly poly? This looks like a creature that has never seen the sun (kind of literally, as it is hard to see if she even has eyes), but has spent a good amount of time getting fat on sand monsters. Sister is the size of a building!

Very unfriendly

But there is nothing friend-shaped about the Black Dragon, which dreams nightmares that cross dimensions. Chrono Cross never really does commit to whether or not “black element” is supposed to be “evil” or somehow “gravity”, but the Black Dragon cuts enough of an imposing figure that he cannot be seen as anything other than dangerous.

They did save us once

And conversely, the white Sky Dragon is appropriately divine. In a genre that frequently presents dragons as the exact same creature seven times with slightly different colors or styles even today (looking at you, Elden Ring), Chrono Cross really went the extra mile by making every dragon significantly different.

Sory, Harle

Even if they did have to involve a murder clown.

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 7

Original Stream Night: May 31, 2022

Recruited this week:

  • Do Masa & Mune count?
  • Leah

Stream Notes:

  • Time to get the Mastermune! Which involves solving dumb puzzles at Viper Manor! A discussion of Final Fantasy 8 and Chrono Cross summons ensue.
  • There is a brief intermission while fighting Solt and Peppor as I run off to do… something. I literally do not remember what happened…
  • Caliscrub arrives as we try to find BEAT and defeat the possessed Dario.
  • And then Ample Vigour shows up. Dario is still standing. I have not accomplished anything yet.
  • In post-stream response to AV’s comments on the subject, my wife has confirmed that the Smurfs and Donald Duck were generally equally popular in Europe around her childhood. I am inclined to believe her.
  • CroakBEAT arrives just as we finish an important conversation about the legend of the few people that can draw duck bills. We still haven’t finished Dario. And now for more about Disco Elysium.
  • When we finally start fighting the Water Dragon, our first Dragon, we talk about crappy Killer Instinct and Mortal Kombat characters. Eat it, Dario.
  • By the time we are fighting the Fire Dragon, the stream is now just about discussing arcade games from the late 90’s
  • As we attempt to get the rock opera going, I defend Battle Arena Toshinden.
  • “Is someone thither?”
  • The concert to end racism leads to the dumbest part of the game: fighting the same lizard creatures over and over again. At least we get some summons going…
  • By the time we are fighting the Earth Dragon, we are discussing the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 film. Jim Carrey is a marvel of CGI technology.
  • We wind up hunting the Green Dragon with Leah, who may or may not be Ayla’s mother? Or daughter? It sucks. Like Sneff.
  • And this stream was a slog. I apologize if you watched it. Moving on!

Next time on Chrono Cross: Robot on Robo violence.

Please don't do that
This is just mean