We have spoken a lot about -the power- over the course of these sermons, but what can one do once they have firmly acquired and established -the power-? Solaris offers an answer: sinful decadence.
The Sacred Empire of Solaris was founded some 800 years back, but did not come to true power until 300 years later when it all but conquered the world during the Shevat-Solaris War. And, centuries after those conflicts, Solaris’s government controlled the actions of nearly everyone on the planet. But what was happening within the walls of that flying fortress? Well, it depended on your caste…
Solaris is supported by a large group of “workers” that are practically indistinguishable from slaves. They work all day and night, and are punished with death at the slightest sign of insubordination. This is considered wholly normal and necessary by all Solaris citizens, and is happily consumed by the citizenry that stands at the higher castes. Oh, and speaking of being “happily consumed”, Solaris also mulches its have-nots into a Soylent Green Slurry, so the rich eat the poor without a second thought. The powerful devour the weak, even though the only reason the weak are labeled as such is a simple accident of birth.
But once you get past the dietary restrictions, what do the rich do in this society that holds all -the power- on the planet? Nothing! They are idle, and frequently spend their days watching holo-programs (while those on the surface of the planet have barely mastered the phonogram). They exercise their bodies not through actual work, but in home aerobics. And when their emperor appears to tell them that strange people have invaded the country, and said people are to be executed, they happily agree that their master’s bloodlust must be sated. Mind you, this is still a city where dissent from anyone will be chastised via pursuit through the sewers by attack triangles, so it is possible the population is just afraid to speak out against any injustices. But then again, those guys zooming around in their hover go-karts don’t look too broken up about the state of their civilization…
But where does this all lead? Well, despite the fact that Solaris had easily the best showers on this planet, it still could not maintain -the power-. Even though there were multiple high-ranking Solarians involved in the invasion of Fei Fong Wong, none were strong enough to stop the terrorist martial artist with a giant robot. As a result, the whole of Solaris was obliterated by the actions of one man, and the wicked kingdom was brought low.
So learn from the sins of Solaris! Do not use -the power- to build an idle nation, fore it shall be ground to nothing by a ponytailed slacker.
Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 13
Original Stream Night: May 4, 2021
Night of the Simulated Theme Park
Random Stream Notes
- We’re going to start by beholding the Final Fantasy 7 Tifa cameo! Welcome back with Kishi, Caliscrub, and fanboymaster
- BEAT does not know who Elly is. Still.
- Hey, this was back when they announced Elon Musk on Saturday Night Live. Remember when he was only subtly impacting our entertainment choices?
- Also, BEAT watched Netflix Voltron, but failed to remember the Voltron lions are… lions. They are not dogs.
- Elly’s Mom is wearing the same outfit as Allen of Xenosaga. The lore implications of this are terrifying.
- BEAT’s dad knew a guy who had a full-length poster of himself in a closet. Like Elly. And Elly turned out fine.
- Jeanie for real joins for the first time as Elly hacks her dad’s computer! Historic!
- “You call people named ‘Stan’ ‘Satan’?!”
- Mega Man 4 is the most unremarkable game Kishi can think of.
- BEAT would rather talk about Nicholas Cage, but watching Citan force a cannibalism is allowed.
- As I have to deal with dumb Xenogears codes, I am invited to talk about Warzard. Hey! Now you can play that game on modern consoles.
- After Fei throws up, I relay my story of being a giant Mortal Kombat / videogame nerd back when I was 12. So little has changed…
And then we talk about watching our family members die in arcade games and Oregon Trail.- Square Enix, please call me. I have wonderful ideas for Kingdom Hearts x Xenogears. I promise to be good.
- A conversation about developer crunch leads to some heavy sighs about the industry and that one Avengers game.
- Oh good. We’re talking about the Ken Penders extended universe for some reason.
- Final Fantasy 10 allows you to just decide not to die, which is not unlike downloading yourself to a TV sphere.
- Hey! Fei is eventually trapped in the Matrix! The second one! With the Architect!
- “When you do post this, I will pay attention to that.” BEAT? Are you paying attention now?
- And we’re going to stop before the big action happens. This would have been a good place for Xenogears 1 to end…
Next time on Xenogears: A shocking explanation of absolutely nothing.
Okay… uh… This one is…
I… may have gotten turned around in this cave. At least it leads to discussion of the imaginary 
Kishi leaves a little early as we Metal Gear Solid through the vents of Solaris.
Faith is important, but it is not everything.
But, as Jessie said when he became a human projectile, “Question not thy god, for thy god doth not respond.” Jessie survived the Buntline, but not because of his faith. Citan was a genius, but Jessie was capable of improving the Buntline personally, and made it a Gear that was not suicide for its pilot. The Buntline could now fire Jessie an infinite number of times, and the worst that would come of it all was a headache. Jessie did not simply hope he would weather his own annihilation, he made his survival a priority, and did everything in his power to guarantee that. And this faith in himself was rewarded when Bishop Stone was defeated, and Jessie’s daughter, Primera, finally spoke to her father.
Persona 3 would like you to dance while I put you in a trance.
Fanboymaster points out that the modern equivalent of the dad working on an old car in the garage is a raspberry pi aficionado continually tinkering on the perfect build, and this fact hurts my brain.
Land of the Rising Fun: In the original Japanese version of Mega Man Legends 2, the “Quiz House” is more or less an “English test”, and quizzes the player on kanji (logographic language characters). This was changed over here to general trivia, which only breaks the universe a little bit when carbons of the future are asking questions about Richard Nixon and The Beatles. Though I suppose it only makes marginally more sense that a single language surviving thousands of years and apocalypses…
