This won't be funWe finish where we started, with…

Location: Rim Elm

What’s the deal: The world is saved! After defeating the nefarious Prince Cort, originator of the Mist plaguing Legaia, everyone retires to Rim Elm to celebrate. The Mist was a global catastrophe, but we found the source, and stopped it! Everything will be good forever!

What’s the plan: We’re gonna celebrate! Woo! Drinks are on me! Let’s kiss strangers! With tongue!

How did it work out: Terribly! The reports of Prince Cort’s demise were greatly exaggerated, as he had merged with an unstoppable Juggernaut Seru. This enormous monster then proceeded to “eat” the whole of Rim Elm, and absorb every living person there (save our Ra-Seru heroes). Then the persistent thorn in everyone’s side, Songi, erected a barrier so no one could save anyone in the Juggernaut disaster zone. If our protagonists did not go to all the effort of entering another dimension, fighting Songi, avenging psychic babies, and then venturing into the Juggernaut to defeat Cort once and for all… Well… Mist or no, this Juggernaut could have literally destroyed the rest of the world.

How could it have gone wrong: The Ra-Seru Warriors that saved the world once had to immediately do it all again. If they decided they needed to take a vacation too, then we were pretty much looking at an apocalypse. You hear that, Rim Elm? Complacency gets you the end of the world.

This seems like a bad ideaFinal Grade: You fail, Rim Elm. You went through a global epidemic, and then you let your guard down the minute a whole three people said everything was safe? While the punishment doesn’t fit the crime (a torturous existence in the belly of a giant flesh monster seems extreme), try to learn from your suffering. Just because somebody tells you your problems are over does not mean that they are. Always be vigilant, and always do everything you can to protect you and your loved ones. You never know why someone might claim that things are going to be easy from now on, but you can always know that you are doing everything you can to stay safe when you actually do.

Even Worse Streams Presents Legend of Legaia
Night 9

May 2, 2023

Random Notes:

  • BEAT asks fanboymaster, Jeanie, and myself to bully Legend of Legaia. FBM immediately wins by acknowledging that Legend of Legaia doesn’t even deserve that.
  • As we enter another dimension’s dungeon, I reiterate that this is all a COVID metaphor. Have you gotten that from these nine writeups!?
  • Ample Vigour joins with his ring music! And a steel chair!
  • We beat down the hardest mandatory boss in the game, Master/Monster Songi.
  • Oh, and we are all surprised by the longevity of American Dad.
  • GrossCaliscrub is not on the stream tonight, as he is watching sports. But we saved his favorite babies! Or avenged them! Or something!
  • “My soldiers are shameful. They disgust me.”
  • Ubisoft Mumbai or Ubisoft Düsseldorf?
  • Aw, this was back when the Writer’s Guild strike started. Dril was producing good content for a strike about content.
  • Pro wrestling: nobody in real life says that opera is fake.
  • As we venture through the final dungeon, we list off all three decent Sega CD games.
  • Please enjoy a list of Cobra games. At least one is a Time Crisis!
  • “You’re fighting organ god. That’s neat,” is stated as we investigate a list of defunct gaming magazines.
  • We beat the game! Are there any good songs about mist? That would be appropriate.
  • Let’s talk about our favorite RPG endings! BEAT, shockingly, likes Skies of Arcadia.
  • Apparently Adventure Time stole the whole “main villain becomes a baby” thing from Legend of Legaia.
  • Eat itI state here that I will play every N64 game when I turn 64. Somebody hold me to that!
  • And we end with a lovely picture of life growing where once there was death… so let’s get back into it and beat the super boss!
  • “I remember Funko Pop Sephiroth.”
  • Lapis, the super boss, is challenged! We cannot use any magic… which has never impacted our cheated stats.
  • And we test out our prize, the Evil Medalion, to close out our time with Legend of Legaia. What was your favorite Legaia memory? And why is it Noa flapping her arms?

Next time on Legend of Legaia: The streams are over, but I have a little bit more to say…

Sorry, bro
“So how did this all work out for you?”

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