Tag Archives: sephiroth

World of Final Fantasy Part 08

Intervention Quests Part 1
Initial Stream: 11/10/20



3:00 – Everyone had two weeks to vote on whether or not they wanted to see additional story progress or the Final Fantasy character vignettes/side quests… and I didn’t see a single vote. Turnout is terrible this year. So we held a vote on the stream, and fanboymaster and BEAT both agreed it was time to hit the Final Fantasy Intervention Quests. As a reminder, these are all “out of time” moments provided by The Girl Who Forgot Her Name, and our heroes only pitch hit for the featured Final Fantasy character during battle, and the rest of these sections are simple “slice of life” stories (that often involve giant, malevolent sea monsters). First up are Tidus and Yuna aping some Final Fantasy X plot beats.

16:00 – The “bullet points” for the Intervention Quests are going to be mostly here to let you know when a new vignette starts. At approximately the sixteen minute mark, we are discussing “politics” and/or Quistis while Squall gets a featured story about future planning.

25:00 – Discussing Tidus while Faris and Edgar discuss something other than Tidus. And then it’s time to point out how Edgar is a pedophile.

33:00 – Terra encounters a certain unpleasant octopus while another bot invades the chat.

39:00 Bartz and Rikku is the crossover event you didn’t ever know you needed. It is mostly ignored in favor of Dragonball Z discussion.

46:23 –


What actually happened in the plot:

All Intervention Quests are canon in World of Final Fantasy, but are (almost) all considered “sidequests”, so this is all “optional” plot. That said, here’s what happened in this update:

• Yuna and Tidus, who met for the first time as part of the main plot, bond over repelling Bismarck (not the nazi ship) from Besaid.

• Squall, unlike his fellow Final Fantasy buddies, doesn’t have future plans, which worries his bulbous little head. Squall and Shelke go on a monster hunting mission, and Shelke tricks Squall into caring and planting a garden. This somehow makes Squall smile.

• Faris’s ship is attacked by Omega Bane, and she tracks it back to a potential dimensional gateway at the center of the desert. Edgar is familiar with the area, so he banishes Omega Bane with the help of Vivi.

• Terra teams up with, and then realizes she must destroy, Ultros, the least prime octopus.

• Bartz and Rikku try to rob Ifrit’s cave, but wind up inadvertently becoming friends with the fiery summons when they team up to repel some behemoths.


Intervention Quests Part 2
Initial Stream: 11/10/20


1:00 – Rikku is sailing the seven seas, and, hey, we’re actually discussing Rikku! It’s game related! It’s a game related, on-topic discussion! That hardly ever happens!

5:00 – Eiko makes a new wolf friend, so let’s talk about Justice League. The animated series, to be clear, as that is clearly the best iteration of the ol’ hero club.

10:00 – Tifa meets some zealots. How old would you be in the Final Fantasy universe? And would your hat stay on your head?

16:00 – Yuna and “The Sad Spiral” sounds like a good time. Final Fantasy characters need therapy, and so do we after discussing Fountains of Wayne.

26:00 – After some wedding discussion, here are Yuna and Rydia in a Volcano. Then BEAT gets hungry, and we fight Lady Ifrit.

32:00 – Cloud and Lightning are palling around while we discuss terrible streamers, teenage sins, and how we’re all attractive. Also, please remember the duck stream.

What actually happened in the plot:

• Rikku battles the Mimic Queen and discovers that literally all the treasures across the sea were a bunch of (now dead) mimics.

• Eiko investigates a “weird feeling” and discovers her ancestors’ “Fenrir” mirage, Elefenrir, who offers a cryptic warning.

• Tifa fights off a gigantic, robotic hand, and tells some religious fanatics that Enna Kros helps those that help themselves.

• Yuna helps Ami of Green Gables (thanks, Zef), a poor woman who wants to sacrifice herself for the good of her hometown. Valefor’s non-union equivalent, Nirvalefor, guides Yuna to help Ami by defeating Ultima Weapon. Thus, Ami no longer has to be a martyr, and she didn’t even have to lose her imaginary dream-boyfriend to do it.

• Yuna and Rydia enter a volcano to find Ifreeta, Ifrit’s cousin who has been possessing humans to be a general nuisance in the world. The two summoners banish the fire cat girl.

• Cloud and Lightning investigate a mirage (Iron Muscles) menacing a local village, but apparently Sephiroth has been in the area repelling the mirage. Cloud ventures off on his own to hunt his mortal enemy, but Terra convinces Cloud to go back and help Lightning. Cloud and Lightning destroy Iron Muscles, and Sephiroth is never seen.

Intervention Quests Part 3
Initial Stream: 11/10/20



0:30 – Vivi and Golems accompany a brief description of quests that have gone before. Long story short: when boiled down to their base archetypes, nearly every male Final Fantasy protagonist becomes Zidane. It’s weird!

5:00 –


13:30 – Discussing Fire Emblem/Lucina /Gachas while Quistis and Squall hang out in Garden.

16:00 – Ample Vigour arrives, and then leaves us wanting as Einhänder shows up again.

20:00 – Penguin time means we have to repeat a whole dungeon. There’s crying underwater from that stupid queen and yours truly, as this Intervention Quest contains an entire “level” that we already completed once. And it wasn’t that good the first time! Regardless, this appears to be the only Intervention Quest that is so intensive, so it’s at least noteworthy.

28:00 – “We’re going all in on this fried bread thing.”

41:00 – And the moral of the story is we’re never going to stop talking about that mysterious liquor lady.

What actually happened in the plot:

• Vivi stops a golem uprising and decides to live another day, confident he is not a mere golem (which makes sense, as golems in this game are basically just Pokémon).

• Celes tries to cheer up the still-recovering-from-vampirey folks of Tome Town by performing an opera, but Ultros arrives, and messes it all up. Ultros is repelled, but, sorry, Celes won’t be singing in this one.

• It is confirmed that Balamb Garden is apparently a mirage, Eden, even if stuff discovered there, like the Gunblade, could be Cogna related.

• Shantotto attempts to open a secret vault by killing the Quacho Queen, but Lann and Reynn convince the Quacho Queen to open the door without bloodshed. Unfortunately, there’s a monster in the vault that could potentially explode and crack the continent in half… but Shantotto uses a spell to disarm the volatile kraken. The day is saved, and our heroes loot the vault.

Intervention Quests Part 4
Initial Stream: 11/10/20

00:00 – There is some interesting discussion regarding the production of Marvel vs. Capcom/Howard the Duck opposite Bartz and Gigglemesh saving a town. Eventually, there is discussion of Spider-Man arcade, a game near and dear to my videogame preserving heart.

8:00 – Additional discussion of Marvel vs. Capcom and what could have happened to Street Fighter 3 while Snow and Celes do… nothing.

14:30 – Moonboy and Devil Dinosaur are not Edgar and Vivi, but they’re not Primal, either.

19:00 – There’s no battle in this vignette, just cutscenes. This is weird, and prompts a discussion regarding Mr. Bucket, and how he wants you to put your balls in his mouth.

21:00 – Faris, Ifrit, and we’re apparently not worshipping Satan.

25:00 – Refia and Sherlotta venture into the snow while we discuss children’s cartoons and fetishes and let’s not talk about Totally Spies.

30:00 – We are done talking about Goodfeathers and how much we hate aspects of Animaniacs just in time to watch the ongoing adventures of Undead Princess.

34:00 Goblin Princess and the immortal question: is high school worse than working in The Simpsons writing room?

What actually happened in the plot:

• Gigglemesh and Bartz are more or less tricked by Bahamutian Soldiers, but team up to recover a victory.

• Snow and Celes fight Gigglemesh over absolutely nothing. Typical crossover fight, I suppose.

• Edgar and Vivi win over the support of the Figaro guard ostensibly through Vivi being annoying.

• Faris sponsors “Underdog Day”, a day when her crew can challenge the captain for control of the ship. An overeager moogle accidently summons Ifrit, whom Faris has to knock off the plank.

• Refia and Sherlotta battle Undead Princess (another refugee from Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Echoes of Time), and then hire her to promote the Inn. Then Sherlotta and Undead Princess work together to stop some Metalliskulls that are haunting the area.

• Princess Sarah was kidnapped by Princess Goblin, who apparently has a crush on Warrior of Light. Warrior of Light lets Princess Goblin down easy, and rescues Princess Sarah.

Additional note that seems to explain a lot: In game, there is a running encyclopedia for characters encountered in World of Final Fantasy. The entry for Undead Princess reads:

Hey, Wait a Second…
You may be wondering why so many characters from the CRYSTAL CHRONICLES series have been popping up in Grymoire. Well, take a look at the person doing character design, and you may have your answer.

So that solves at least one unsolved mystery of World of Final Fantasy.

Intervention Quests Part 5
Initial Stream: 11/10/20


00:00 – Refia tries to build a bridge while we discuss how to own people on the internet. Or maybe we’re just looking at Dril tweets again. Or Spider-Man?

6:00 – Time for (what I’m pretty sure is) the DLC event. It is not a Gundam.

9:30 – Kishi joins us. Kishi is not a Gundam.

22:00 – We finally win as Omega God bonks over.


“He” is now Ted Woo, author of Shadow Mad.

31:00 – Kishi requests a repeat performance, so we’re watching the Faris bit again. Let’s consider this an example of how you can repeat these quests unlimited times.

36:00 – In an effort to torture fanboymaster, we close this stream out by taking a look at the World of Final Fantasy pokédex.

What actually happened in the plot:

• Refia tries to build an ice bridge, so she recruits Sherlotta to additionally recruit Shiva. The bridge is built, but doesn’t last long.

• Enna Kros has a conversation with Alexander, the gigantic mirage currently serving as a motionless bridge. Apparently they fought “for the throne” at one point. Eden of Balamb Garden, Lute of Ragnarok in Cornera, and Midgardian Ormr (presumably) of Midgar are all mirages, too. Alexander had Omega God hanging out on it in a pocket dimension (or something), so Enna Kros summoned Lann and Reynn to fight him off. Omega God is defeated and captured, and now, having completed all available Intervention Quests, Lann and Reynn are free to journey on to the endgame.

Next time on World of Final Fantasy: This stream was the same week I got married, so BEAT is responsible for the Bad End.

World of Final Fantasy Part 03

Chapter 7: He’s Not Family
Initial Stream: 9/29/20



1:00 – I tried to get the “futzing around in menus” out of the way before the stream started, but I also wanted to capture the evolution transfarring of BURDIEE… but it was a lot more underwhelming than I expected. And then I proceed to spend ten minutes futzing around in other menus. Dammit!

8:25 – Okay! Actually back at Soronia! This area is loosely based on a town besieged by conflict in Final Fantasy 3, so let’s discuss why maybe Final Fantasy 3 sucked. It has something to do with swamps…

14:00 – Betrayal! A villain makes an unexpected appearance (in front of a painting of Kain Highwind?), but let’s just talk about Space Adventure Cobra instead.

20:00 – The Knight in the Golden Mask has a secret identity. Is he Cloud? Zoneseek? The heroes’ father? Everybody guesses it’s that last one.

25:00 – And the chapter ends abruptly after brainstorming the best way to go back in time and destroy Pitfall.

What actually happened in the plot: This was supposed to be a simple meeting with Refia’s uncle, the thane. However, the city of Soronia has recently fallen under the thrall of the Bahamutian Army (Empire?), and things aren’t great for anybody. Worst of all, the thane has been replaced with a seemingly immortal Bahamutian soldier, and he’s backed up by the mysterious Knight in the Golden Mask. Our party barely survives the encounter, but they are rescued by Sherlotta, who has the ability to transform into a kitty cat that can shoot fire. Sherlotta imparts a magical monocle on the party that reveals that all conquered cities are literally shackled in place by (normally) invisible chains. With Soronia a bust, Refia stays with Sherlotta, and the twins venture forth to find a boat to reach other shores.

Chapter 8: This World Brought to You by the Letter Arrr
Initial Stream: 9/29/20



1:00 – This chapter is mostly dungeon, so we kick it off by discussing How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell. This was apparently made into a movie fifteen years ago! Maybe you should watch that!

4:00 – This dungeon is all dire docks, and cannons launching our party across rising waters seems to be the main gimmick of the area. Cannon travel sure seems popular in a number of videogames, eh?

8:00 – Dungeons are great for discussing tangentially related nonsense. We encounter a mimic chest, so let’s look to Gogo, the best mimic of all. Want to segue into Chrono Trigger from there? Sure!

15:00 – There is some confusion over Mini Flan capturing. At this point, I’m confident in calling this a flaw in World of Final Fantasy: you’re often given precise instructions on how to capture a mirage (like “do physical damage”), but sometimes that doesn’t activate immediately, and you’re left scrambling to a FAQ to determine whether there is some additional condition, or if you’re doing something wrong. Or you send BEAT on a quixotic quest for that info. You know, whatever works for you.

24:00 – Funkos in flight! Maybe these creatures are closer to keychain charms…

28:00 – Star Ocean: The Second Story is apparently a lot more interesting than I ever expected, as fanboymaster explains its counterfeiting system here. Also, reading books written by your friends, which I’m going to claim takes us back to the book discussion at the top of the chapter.

36:00 – After a discussion of Final Fantasy 7’s Godzillas and Wutai, it’s time for moogle pirates to attack. They’re Kupirates. I annihilate their adorableness.

39:00 – Syldra and Faris make us all happy… until it turns out to be a scripted battle. And BEAT is never happy, so I guess this was a wash.

43:00 – Faris inevitably aligns with our heroes as we discuss Playonline and the aborted plans of the Final Fantasy franchise.

What actually happened in the plot: Reynn and Lann tried to steal a boat from pirates, but Faris the pirate fought back with a gigantic sea monster. Luckily (kinda), the fake thane from the last chapter followed us, and, since this revealed the twins to be enemies of the Bahamutian Army, Faris turned her considerable power toward obliterating the real monster. After that general was swabbed off the poop deck, Faris (or at least one of her moogles) provided an additional segment of the prophecy that claims the heroes have to fetch four keys and ascend to the heavens. We’re off to a “valley of fire” to find key numero uno!

Chapter 9: Red Turtle Rafting
Initial Stream: 9/29/20



1:20 – Quistis?! Why are you here?

4:45 – We take a quick break to check in on the “home dimension” and see how those side stories with Final Fantasy heroes work. They’re apparently moderately interesting. Tales of Symphonia narrative bullshit is noted.

14:00 – Talkin’ ‘bout Die Hard Arcade while upgrading monsters. During this downtime, please enjoy this article I slapped together a few years back on Dynamite Cop.

17:00 – Back to the real plot, so let’s talk about Ms. Marvel and the Avengers.

20:00 – Anime out of nowhere! For the first time since Chapter 1, we get a brief cutscene that is fully animated. While that is happening, we contemplate whether either of these characters actually have a personality. They’re at least distinct from each other…

25:00 – We save a wee turtle in honor of our hero, Italian Elon Musk.

28:00 – Rikku makes the scene in her Final Fantasy 10-2 treasure/sphere hunter incarnation. After World of Final Fantasy started off with Warrior of Light, Princess Sarah, a Crystal Chronicles cat, and a Final Fantasy 3 kinda-character, we’re now going fast and furious with the recognizable cameos. And we will have a Final Fantasy 7 heroine before the end of the next chapter! Which is coming soon!

What actually happened in the plot: Quistis provides a submarine (compliments of the Final Fantasy 8 demo disc)… which we crash, because apparently this world is a series of loosely connected floating islands. Barring the ability to do literally anything else, we save a little turtle, who reveals itself to be the child of a great big turtle. Said giant turtle offers us a ride, and we’re off to drier land.

Editor’s note: the following part is written by esteemed streamer of World of Final Fantasy, BEAT

Chapter 10: MORE LIKE FUCKO POPS AM I RITE?!?!?!
Initial Stream: 9/29/20



WAIT A SECOND YOU’RE NOT GOGGLEBOB!

0:00 – OH SHIT IT’S BEAT. That’s right dorks, I’m writing up this video! I’ve retained literally zero knowledge of this game’s plot or mechanics, and only barely paid attention to this steam while I was guesting on it. Call the cops I don’t give a fuck.

1:20 – In my infinite wisdom, I immediately derail the conversation into a discussion on how Final Fantasy Ecks Too was the sexy one, and how Final Fantasy’s attempt to appeal to teenage boys has tragically resulted in this game trying to make those horrible little funko pop people HOTTT. Fanboy is less than pleased.

05:00 – I try to recall a dumb gag from 8-bit theater. Fortunately my internet is actively trying to kill itself, so you’re all spared my evil… until a minute later when I share it anyway. We then pontificate on the cultural impact of sprite comics the joy of Gamer Dilbert, and the terrible tragedy of regular Dilbert.

06:10 – The party makes it a desolate stone wasteland, a nightmarish valley of razor sharp spires jutting out of the earth and into an uncaring grey sky. Nobody on the call seems to notice.

14:30 – Fun fact, we streamed this on the night of the first Presidential debate! That way, none of us had to watch the debate! Fuck Trump. It’ll be so cool when he dies.

21:30 – Fanboy gives us all a history of Square Electronic Arts, a very good business partnership, that lasted a very long time and created many excellent products.

29:00 – After approximately 11 million years of random battles, we finally reach what I assume is the area’s boss, Cerberus! It doesn’t look like a dog, and two of it’s three heads just float in the air. It’s not even the size of a house! This Cerberus sucks, you guys. Eventually Gogglebob captures it in a pokeball, and names it Vinnie- WAIT!

FUCKING WAIT!

ONE OF VINNIE PAZ’S STUPID NICKNAMES IS "BIG LOUIE DOGS!"

CERBERUS IS (KIND OF) A DOG!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!

35:30 – The Boss is beaten, but we’re still in dumb rocky land what the shit.

SEPHIROTH!37:00 – Gogglebob’s anime siblings now have the ability to summon Sephiroth, who summons meteor and then does the whole walk into the fire thing. It’s awful. It rules. I hate it. I love it.

40:00 – Hey, remember Advent Children? No? Me neither.

44:15 – I don’t know why Gogglebob named this horrible deformed dragon thing "104." And you know what? I’m at peace with it.

45:10 – Oh okay NOW we’re at the boss. I guess Cerberus was just a midboss or whatever. Everybody is a dick about how anime boy tastes.

47:45 – Oh shit it’s cowboy Tifa. Hi cowboy Tifa. I hate the funko pop outfit version of her sexy cowgirl Halloween costume almost as much as I hate her voice.

51:20 – Tiny Midgar is in sight! It’s adorably hellish, and contrasts nicely with the adorable little town right next to it, which is also surrounded by lava pits for some reason.

53:50 – A random NPC mentions Cactuars, which is the ONLY THING any of us care about seeing.

55:00 – We make it to tiny Midgar Nibelheim. It’s Nibelheim now. You thought it was Midgar, but it’s Nibelheim. Tifa’s here. I still hate her stupid outfit. STREAM OVER!

What actually happened in the plot: the gang rode a giant fucking turtle… somewhere. They go into a giant stone hellhole, where they fight a dog and then a dragon. Funko Pop Tifa shows up out of nowhere, and guides the teens out of the boring rock quarry. She guides the Anime teens the town of Agarthir, which is right next to the futuristic dystopia of Midgard, which is actually Niblehiem for some reason. Tifa’s there I guess. Whatever.

Next time on World of Final Fantasy: Gonna take you for a Rydia.

Year in Review: 2016

2016… wow, what a year, am I right? I mean, I got a new hammock, and… uh…. I’m sure some other stuff happened, but I can’t really recall exactly what right now. Oh, no matter, let’s talk about some videogames.

Disappointment of the Year: Street Fighter V

Right in the kisserYou don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone…

When I was first informed (by the owner of the videogame store that was selling me the game) that Street Fighter V launched with a limited story mode that included all of two or three battles per character, I was undeterred. “I don’t play Street Fighter for the arcade mode,” I feistily boasted, “I’m here for the rad characters and cool combos. I could care less about one player content in my fighting games.”

Turns out I’m very good at lying to myself and others.

I didn’t even realize it until Street Fighter 5, but apparently “arcade mode” is the main way I experience fighting games, and, when arcade mode is missing, I very quickly lose interest. I like fighting online against randos! I swear! But that experience is very… uneven? I can’t recall the last time I fought five online opponents at the same continuous difficulty level. It’s amazing when you feel out a fighter and learn the proper footsie game that is going to guarantee your victory… but most of the time you’re either fighting “someone too good”, “someone who uses the same three moves all the time”, or “clearly a ten year old”. And the ten year old is the worst! Even when I win that fight, I feel like that one jackass from the arcade that kept hogging the Mortal Kombat machine and stealing the quarters of the good children of the mall.

… I have issues.

So, with a lack of arcade mode, Street Fighter V went from one of my most anticipated games of the year to something that just randomly gets fired up when a new character is released. I want to play this game more, but every time I do, I wind up quitting within a half hour. It’s silly, but after the 27 Street Fighter iterations of the last few decades, this game somehow winds up being the best and worst all in one box. Well, it’s actually mostly DLC at this point, so maybe it isn’t really in the box…

Uh, anyway, I just don’t want to play survival mode. Too stressful.

Reason to not let me out of the house for the Year: Disney Infinity Figures

Look, they were on sale at Toys R Us, and I always liked the character designs for Inside Out. And then I figured I’d pick up a couple of cool characters, and I always thought Brave was underrated, and wouldn’t it be cool to have a shelf of all Disney heroines, and then there was another sale… and, long story short, I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house.

HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING

And, yes, the Amiibo collection grew, too. And there wasn’t even a sale on those…

Game with the absolute worst release date of the Year: World of Final Fantasy

World of Final Fantasy is a great concept for a videogame: What if Final Fantasy and Pokémon had a baby, and it was adorable? There, done, game of the year. Add in a Kingdom Hearts-esque plot about crossover characters that kinda sorta make sense in a delightful little world, and we’re all set.

But I have barely played World of Final Fantasy. Why? Because about a month after World of Final Fantasy, we had a real Pokémon game, and a real Final Fantasy game. That’s the first new, not-a-MMORPG, not-a-sequel, not-formerly-a-PSP-game Final Fantasy in, what, seven years? Seven years between Final Fantasy games, three years between Pokémon iterations… and Final Fantasy World is released a month before both. Good job, Squeenix. Way to look at a calendar.

World of Final Fantasy looks like a lot of fun, and I’ll get back to it after I devote years of my life to these other two games. Could have been a lovely Summer release, but nooooooo.

Compilation of the Year: Megaman Legacy Collection (3DS)

As long as they keep releasing this game on different systems, I’m going to keep calling it the best thing on those systems. Switch next year, guys!

Remake of the Year: Dragon Quest 7 Fragments of the Forgotten Past

Poor galI still haven’t finished any version of DQ7, but thank Yggdrasil 3DS Dragon Quest 7 exists. I’ve always told myself that I’d return to the PSX DQ7, a game I fished out of a used bin sometime after the release of DQ8, but coming back to that game after 8 was… difficult. And then we got 9, my absolute favorite adventure featuring questing dragons (weren’t they actually angels?), and it seemed very unlikely that I would ever touch 7 again. It’s so slow, guys! Like, if a turtle was trapped in a molasses spill while being menaced by a particularly curious cat slow. Bah, why do I feel like that’s probably the premise of an entire island in this game?

But DQ7:3DS (working title) is much more in line with the pacing of its DS/3DS brethren. Yes, it’s still long as hell, and it takes a slime’s age to get anywhere, but it does actually feel like you’re getting somewhere. And the translation is no longer drier than a sandslash’s armpit, so it’s even interesting to play, too. This is one of those rare, awesome remakes that improves upon the original in every conceivable way.

And, yes, you might be able to debate that statement, but that would require playing PSX DQ7, and I see now that that task is completely impossible.

Title of the Year: Nitro + Blasterz Heroines Infinite Duel

Because her name is.... nevermindHey, look everybody, it’s another anime fighting game with a ridiculous title. Will wonders never cease?

Nitro + is actually a pretty fun game. It’s got an all-female cast of mostly characters I don’t recognize (and I feel kind of bad that I immediately recognize Sonico and her supporting “other” character), and it could be just another lazy “let’s toss all these disparate characters together and feed off the nerds” affair. But it’s good! Well… it’s no Blazblue or Street Fighter (I said it was disappointing, not bad), but it’s still a fighting game that has some decent (and new!) ideas. Sonico, seemingly the headliner for this game (she sings the theme song!) attacks… with cats. Like… a lot of cats. That’s a little different from your typical Ryu. Oh, and the game actually looks like a PS4 game, and not something that could have easily worked on the SNES, like a lot of random anime battlers. Anybody play that J-Stars kinda-fighting game? For a game where Goku could punch Naruto, it was pretty damn lackluster.

System of the Year:

Nope. Moving on.

Game of the Year: Pokémon Go

GO!I’m completely serious about this: my videogame of the year is barely a videogame. And it’s on a cell phone! I don’t even know who I am anymore!

Okay, yes, Pokémon Go is kind of lousy as a game-game. Its desire to drain your pockets is obvious (boy, if you buy a bunch of incubators and walk around a lot, you’re practically saving money!), the “ball tossing” elements are about as complicated as learning to snap your fingers (… okay that took me like twelve years), and the whole “gotta catch ‘em all” setup is there to leave you crazy and wandering the streets at 3 AM hoping against hope that a porygon might show up and not immediately run away. This is not a good game, and Final Fantasy 15 or Overwatch should have this spot. Hell, even the surprisingly innovative Pokémon Sun/Moon should hold the “best Pokémon game” spot.

That said…

I’ve dex’ed 141 pokémon, captured 5,572 random beasts, evolved 419 mons, visted 5,706 Pokéstops, and walked… a whole lot. Apparently Go doesn’t have an in game clock… and that’s probably for the best.

So why is Pokémon Go my game of the year? It’s not just because I played it more than any other videogame this year (which is true and obvious), and it’s not just because my OCD compels me to play any Pokémon game (or “game”) until I have become the very best, like no one ever was. No, the reason Pokémon Go wins my vote is simply that it recontextualized reality. I’ve always been a fan of “walks”, but I got out of the habit a few years ago (usually because it becomes a might cold around these parts for a solid four months or so, and by the time that changes, I’ve rediscovered inside activities). With Pokémon Go, though, I suddenly had a reason to get out there and walk again, and maybe investigate the nooks and crannies of my local neighborhoods while I’m at it. There’s an apartment complex at the edge of town that I never noticed in three decades, but when there’s a Koffing nest on the radar, well, it’s time for some exploring. And I’m an insomniac, so a game that rewards me for playing at 4 AM on an August morning is amazing (the reward is less people around, the greatest reward of all).

Pokémon Go wasn’t the best videogame of the year, but it’s a videogame that seemed uniquely suited to my unique neuroses, so it’s my game of the year.

Now can someone tell me how to get rid of this fat guy hanging in front of my house repeating, “Isn’t technology wonderful?” over and over again?

Come to papa

Games I’m sure are great, but I haven’t played: Overwatch, Doom, Final Fantasy 15

I basically got all these games within the last month, thanks to sales or release schedules. I’ll get to them!

Games I’m sure are great, but I still haven’t played: Xenoblade Chronicles X, Undertale

I was working on other stuff!

Gogglebob.com Introspection 2016

I’m really regretting starting the site last Summer, because, had I started at the beginning of the year, I would be able to say this has been Year 2 of Gogglebob.com. Now, what, I have to say it’s been Year 1.5? Lame.

Rock outOther than terrible timing, I’m still enjoying the site, and I’m continually amazed by that. I really thought I would peter out on this thing around FGC #30 (which was actually… Rampage Through Time? Sounds about right), but here we are, looking forward to #223. What’s that robot going to choose next? Who knows! (Actually, I usually “roll” ROB for about fifteen to twenty articles in advance. I like to know what’s coming.)

I suppose a new thing this year has been the “theme weeks”, like Final Fantasy 7-palooza or even the recent Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past week (which basically happened because I couldn’t stop talking about one game I’ve played constantly… go fig), and those will likely continue to happen, because, in a weird way, a week of stability seems to work well for my mental health. It’s hard to switch gears from B.O.B. to Pinball Quest to Super Scope 6! I can only do it so much! Theme weeks let me work with some basic truth and expand it to a couple of days/articles. I think my brain likes that.

Oh, and this is the year that was practically defined by the Xenosaga LP, which is in its closing chapters as the year draws to an end. I’ll retrospect on that one a little more in its own section, but I’m amazed at how enjoyable that project has been, and that, ya know, I’m actually finishing it. That seemed impossible last year.

And here are five random articles from 2016 that I enjoyed writing/reading (and that I haven’t already mentioned):

You can mention your favorites in the comments. Or don’t, as seems to be the tradition. See if I care.

And, honestly, even though I don’t say it enough, thank you to everyone that has ever enjoyed an article, commented, and/or linked the site or commented about it on social media. It’s all very appreciated, and this blog is brought to you by viewers like you. I promise I’ll get better at Twitter, soon.

Alright, that’s it for 2016! Let’s hope next year is at least a marginal improvement!

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Lollipop Chainsaw! Okay, not what I would have picked to start out the year, but it’s still a fun game. Next year, get me a chainsaw. Please look forward to it!

One big one for the end of the year