Sucks for you!Welcome to the town that damned them all…

Location: Conkram

What’s the deal: Here is where it all started, folks! The Mist that has been menacing the whole of Legaia was not some natural phenomena, but a biological weapon designed by one kingdom to win one war. Sorry, the entire planet, but Conkram really wanted to rough up the neighboring kingdom of Sol, and things really got out of hand.

What’s the plan: Scientist (or something) Jette believed that he could pump in Mist from another world to enhance the Seru of Conkram’s army. Unfortunately, the Mist never demonstrated a benevolent function, and immediately transformed the soldier test subject into a raging monster. Then the Mist spread through the whole town, and things got bad for everybody. A time traveling pack of (our) heroes beat back Rogue, the original Seru-source of the Mist, but a shard (or something) of Rogue possessed Prince Cort, and he steered Conkram’s leaders towards a war based entirely on a new, artificial Mist.

How did it work out: Well, Conkram kinda sorta conquered the world. All of the Mist everywhere is their doing, and the various “Mist Generals” we have encountered were all high-ranking members of the Conkram Kingdom. That’s good! Unfortunately, nobody seems to know that Conkram is the kingdom that is in charge (95% of Legaia seems to believe the Mist is merely some general malevolence), and any “subjects” of the Mist are mindless zombies. And zombies are terrible for farming natural resources like a productive conquered people. Oh, also…

Away we goHow could it have gone wrong: A section of Conkram’s elite made out okay, but the rest of Conkram became… how to put this… damned to an endless hell of misery. One of the Seru from the Rogue incident stuck around Conkram, and, over the course of a decade or so, fed on Mist to become a Godzilla-sized clam. It merged with the people of Conkram, and all of them were (literally) stuck in a state of paralysis and endless madness. Their only possible release was death, and even the compassionate Ra-Seru agreed there is literally nothing that can be done for them save end their suffering. So, you know, not great for those guys.

Final Grade: The “Mist Plan” was supposedly a way to win a war and enrich the whole of Conkram, but it wound up only benefiting approximately five people. And, not coincidentally, the five people that made out like bandits were the people that hatched this plan in the first place. Considering everybody else died after years of madness, we have to come to the conclusion that listening to the psychopaths in charge might not be the best solution. Maybe consider if someone has an ulterior motive for telling the entire population they have to get to work on “their” plan…

Even Worse Streams Presents Legend of Legaia
Night 8

April 25, 2023

Random Notes:

  • We’re back! Fanboymaster, Jeanie, and BEAT are here to hear me recap what happened last week. … Which was a vacation where BEAT and I hung out. But two weeks ago we were playing Legend of Legaia. Thank you, Duckstation, for saving my bacon.
  • Now please enjoy our grandfathers’ opinions on Hitler (they would have killed him so hard, but maybe with different weapons).
  • Getting to travel back to the past is my favorite part of the game. It’s happening in this stream! We barely talk about it…
  • Aw, this was right before The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom was released. Get our final pre-impressions!
  • I hate it hereIf you are not aware, I hate teleporter mazes. This dungeon is a teleporter maze.
  • Caliscrub arrives to ask if we have avenged babies yet. We have not! That’s next week!
  • Caliscrub asks about other teleporter mazes we have seen. While on the stream, I cannot recall other teleporter mazes, but I was definitely forgetting that Brave Fencer Musashi maze from its final dungeon. It was a teleporter maze in spirit.
  • Let’s talk about Sega, the Dreamcast, and the Nintendo Gamecube launch. Super Monkey Ball! Yay!
  • Ample Vigour arrives as we discuss Sting… the game developer. Not the guy. Also: we’re done with the past (in the game)!
  • Warning: this stream contains spoilers for Dungeon Master (1987).
  • Oh! This stream was back when hoodlums in my neighborhood were moving stuff between peoples’ unlocked cars. As far as I know, they were never caught. So if we’re neighbors, lock your car doors.
  • As we enter Jette’s Fortress, this “old” stream reminds me that I should get back to trying to create the Dover Boys in Street Fighter 6.
  • AJVark arrives to declare he has nothing to add about Legend of Legaia. Fun fact: nobody else does, either.
  • “The phrase ‘graduated goth’ fills me with dread.”
  • A lack of Carmen Electra and Lil Kim fighting over your protagonist is why “the Persona games suck ass.”
  • Take thatAs Cort is defeated, I must lament how it seems we will never get through a stream without insulting NFTS. Maybe one day…
  • Let us never speak of Limbo of the Lost ever again.
  • “Don’t forget: being menaced by small kobolds.”
  • And we close after Juggernaut takes over Rim Elm and we insult Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel quite a lot.

Next time: Saving the world once and for all.

Pew pew

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