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World of Final Fantasy Part 11

Maxima Content Part 1: The Final Xover
Initial Stream: 12/1/20



00:00 – We start this video with a short video of its own called “What I did on my Thanksgiving Vacation”. Long story short: you can unlock a bunch of stuff by beating the final boss after completing all intervention questions (and I still had one undone when we did that on the previous stream), and I sorted much of that new content while nobody was looking. There were three whole dungeons featuring reused assets (complete with recolored bosses) that were tackled and defeated between streams. That unlocks a fourth “reused” dungeon, and we pick things up at the culmination of that quest. And our final boss for that area is…

6:00 – Mr. Xenogears, aka XG. A full discussion on the Xeno franchise’s ownership and its plots naturally follows. I consider myself something of an expert on the subject.


Also, since I didn’t actually wind up summoning XG during the stream, here’s the lil’ big guy in action. I have to assume that “Little Walking Head” XG was originally designed to be a more present part of the plot. Either that or someone really wanted to toss a headmaster in here.

22:00 – So XG is the final “secret” boss of the original content for World of Final Fantasy. The Maxima upgrade offers some new content, and that’s going to be the majority of these last four parts. There’s a full explanation of that here (in the video), but, long story short, there was a mobile World of Final Fantasy game, Meli-Melo, and, while it appears to have been a failure (it was discontinued almost exactly a year after launch), my understanding is that a lot of the “new” assets from that game got recycled into the Maxima upgrade. Never waste a pixel, Square-Enix! So we’re going to see the new, Maxima-based intervention quests, starting with Cecil trying to cure a friend of desert fever. It’s not the friend you think!

32:00 – Zack time. I guess he died? If you check his in-game biography, it distinctly notes that he is basically a zombie reanimated by mako in this world. Don’t worry, he’ll get better. This is a happy dimension.

40:00 – See? He’s better now. And Serah, sister of Lightning, fights Shiva while we play with wikis. fanboymaster, I just checked, and apparently your edit will only be preserved on this video.

45:00 – Discussion of the upcoming Saga Frontier remake. TLDL: they better do something about the overt implication that a blood transfusion can give you immortality/gay.

What actually happened in the plot:

At the culmination of the “first” ending (maybe second?) Wynne is appointed the new guardian of the world, while Lann and Reynn are sucked into another dimension. Now, the “extra” ending reveals that Wynne receives two “twin mirages” from Enna Kros (god), which allows her to summon little duplicates of her adopted twin siblings. Thus, all post-game content is apparently Wynne having adventures with Lann/Reynn golems. It’s not weird at all!

• XG (Xenogears) is defeated in a presumably non-canon bonus battle (or maybe it’s in another dimension).

• Cecil secures a restorative flower for a sick Kain by defeating Yojimbo.

• Zack reawakens in Castle Figaro’s basement as a berserker, and, after fighting the heroes, flies off with Bahamut (who was coincidentally trying to take a nap in that same basement).

• Serah fights Shiva-Ixion, her fiancee’s summon-cycle, for the right to decorate her for Snow’s birthday (seriously). Zack is dropped off nearby by Bahamut, who cured Zack of his mako poisoning (possibly accidentally). Wynne followed Bahamut/Zack here, and identifies Serah as having some unknown, but super important destiny. Zack asks out Serah. Zack with a C does not play Serah with an H’s favorite song.

Maxima Content Part 2: This is Why I didn’t Stream the Other Dungeons
Initial Stream: 12/1/20



1:00 – The rules of the Ultimate Dungeon suck! Apparently there are distinct warps that occasionally take you back to the start of the place, and random floors may have random rules that severely limit your options. And, of course, this dungeon is going to be nothing but reused assets. Bah! Let’s just discuss a Playstation Superman game and collectors being annoying.

8:30 – I don’t know east from west. I’m going to blame Shantae for this.

14:50 – “Nobody fucks with Dr. Brainshit.”

20:00 – Kary/Marilith is our first boss of the area while we talk about Amalgam comics. I too miss Lobo the Duck.

30:00 – Time to refuel after a discussion of Devil May Cry 3, and then on to part two (of four) of the dungeon.

49:20 – “I envy your optimism”… by the way, this dungeon takes forever. We’re not even a full third of the way done with this nonsense yet.

50:00 – CaliScrub arrives… he missed the best, giant-robot based part.

54:00 – The Kraken Boss fight. We already did this one, as two of the ol’ Final Fantasy 1 fiends already appear as part of the mandatory plot. This Kraken is like forty levels more powerful, though, so at least it isn’t as easy as before. Wee?

56:00 – Minecraft human trafficking is described as we wrap up this section.

What actually happened in the plot: Nothing. Wynne is venturing through The Ultimate Dungeon toward whatever is down there. We’re about 40% through that.

Maxima Content Part 3: The Ultimate Slog
Initial Stream: 12/1/20



00:00 – I couldn’t remember the details on the stream, but here’s the full rundown on the economy of what was apparently Planet Zoo. I will never look at warthogs the same way again.

7:00 – Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity is discussed, which I believe means we have successfully gone full circle on discussing a separate game during the World of Final Fantasy Stream. Long story short, everyone in Hyrule should already have fish.

Also, this bit occurs during a “no item floor” in the dungeon proper. These dungeon rules are truly random (they’re not tied to particular floors, and may change between dungeon visits), and losing the ability to use potions between battles in a game where you can’t even cast cure outside of a fight is a little… terrible. This means that “no item floors” make a little more of an impact than, say, “extra damage” or literally any other random effect.

15:00 – Lich appears. You can’t use Raise/Phoenix Down on an opponent, but you can use an elixir. Guess how Lich goes down.

25:00 – There is just so much Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity discussion here. We will never stream that game.

31:00 – Tiamat, and we already beat her, too. Kind of a wet fart of a way to finish the first 80% of this dungeon.

37:00 – The ultimate section of the ultimate dungeon begins as fanboymaster explains the name switch between Kary/Marilith.

42:00 – Please enjoy watching me engage in ice Sliding dumbassery for five pointless minutes.

50:00 – Florida leadership is discussed on the way to the ultimate boss of this ultimate area… but we stop just shy of the battle itself. Sorry!

What actually happened in the plot: Still nothing. We’re about 95% of the way through this dungeon as of this update. Incidentally, it is noted in the in-game encyclopedia that these adventures are technically canon for Wynne… just we’re well past the actual “end” of the game, so it’s pretty safe to claim none of this will ever be referenced by anything.

Maxima Content Part 4: The End
Initial Stream: 12/1/20 (mostly)



00:00 – Starting off by taking the bold stance that Hitler was not right as we finally approach the final boss of this area. The boss fight is partially expected, partially a surprise. It’s a battle against Garland (Chaos or Garland would be anticipated after the four fiends), but also all four of the fiends simultaneously. Given each of those fiends was an individual (and not easy) boss battle on the way here, this could get dicey.

9:00 – Playstation 4/5 Spider-Man says “defund the police”.

13:00 – Game Over! I had a choice between healing one stack or reviving the other, and I chose wrong, as a powerful, party-wide attack was apparently coming. I came surprisingly close to winning this fight… but nope.

15:00 – Rather than bang my head against that wall again, we try the next secret boss battle, a fight with Enna Kros. As I learn here, it sucks because this trio of bosses can revive themselves repeatedly. And ol’ Enna doesn’t really have any combat animations, so this is the most… lazy of the new Maxima content (and I’m saying that after two hours of a recycled dungeon).

29:00 – Game over again! Same exact reason, too! I have learned nothing!

31:00 – Super Boss #3 requires an airship-based scavenger hunt. And it’s clear right off that this “hunt” is going to take forever, so we pretty much sizzle out with our final World of Final Fantasy stream.

35:00 – And now I avenge myself upon my losses. This section of the video is just highlights of me playing by myself, narrated by myself, because I wasn’t going to drag the stream team through another series of fights that could potentially take forever. I’m not that cruel!

Immortal Dark Dragon is first, and he’s from the anime movie that was produced to promote that mobile game. He’s apparently on the same inter-dimensional team as this game’s main antagonist, but is otherwise wholly new to this title. Fighting him necessitates finding switches across the world, then standing up to a dude that patterns his attacks after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game’s Shredder

38:00 – Garland and the gang all over again. The secret to my success this time is to kill Lich, use water to take out Tiamat and Kary/Marilith simultaneously, and then focus on dropping Kraken. Sorry, can’t kill Kary last. Garland has a bunch of elemental weaknesses after all his buddies are down, so, once again, I was really close to winning the last time.

41:00 – Enna Kros is a pain, with nine extra lives, and still those cheap animations. I’m not certain if this fight would be easier if you focus on exclusively killing one opponent nine times, or spread the death around. Regardless, at the very least you can game the “weakness aiming” by unstacking whenever targeted, so there is a bit of a trick to the battle. However, even if you know what to do, this battle takes forever, and took me personally about forty minutes with the internal speed up feature.

43:00 – And defeating all of those super bosses unlocks the right to fight a super hard version of the original final boss of Final Fantasy Maxima. It’s the same fight, just with absurd attack/HP stats. Beat that final-final boss, and you get to see the all new, secret “teaser” ending for World of Final Fantasy/ Presumptive Trailer for World of Final Fantasy 2. Or, considering how much this whole setup/content is biting on Kingdom Hearts, let’s say World of Final Fantasy 2/418 Days: A Missing Piece 1.8.

46:00 – Oh yeah, you can fish with Final Fantasy 15’s Noctis. Thanks for watching!

What actually happened in the plot: Wynne conquered Garland, an “Anti-Champion” created at the same time as Warrior of Light, deep in the Ultimate Dungeon. She also repelled Immortal Dark Dragon, a threat from another dimension (again, DLC super bosses or not, in-game datalogs confirm these events as canon). After that, a version of Diablos from another dimension attacks her world, but she defeats him with the aid of Tama and Odin. However, more interesting than the fight is that that Diablos seems to be linked to a mysterious figure in a cloak bearing two Mirage-keeper gauntlets and an odd preoccupation with searching for his “sis”. What does it all mean? Guess we’ll find out some day…

Next time on World of Final Fantasy: A sober look at a funny game.

World of Final Fantasy Part 09

Chapter 21-3: Back to The Grind
Initial Stream: 11/16/20
Due to my wedding occurring the week of this stream, this write-up is provided by BEAT



00:00 – Alright, that’s a load of stupid sidequests out of the way. Let’s see about doing some PLOT

02:00 – "I don’t think ASIMO has religion."

ALSO 02:00 – So I THINK this is the story’s BIG reveal, as the anime teens are trying to appear serious and the FF7 OC is expositing all over the place. I’m too busy reporting a bot in Gogglebob’s chat to notice.

05:30 – I HOPE YOU DIE.


09:00 – I stand by my theory that Roald Dhal became a Children’s Author just to give himself an outlet for his deep-set urge to MURDER CHILDREN.

10:19 – Anime brother just teleported away anime sister because he couldn’t help but try the handprint scanner. He then freaks the fuck out because he thought he murdered his sister. His sister, who’s totally fine, decides to let him sweat it out for a little bit. Anyway that’s how the game tells us this dungeon has teleport mechanics.

18:00 – To all aspiring rappers: it’s okay to sell out as long as you make it apparent you do not give a shit about the product, and are only doing it for the money.

XX:XX – GOD THIS DUNGEON IS FUCKING BORING.

23:10 – Caliscrub joins us! His mic has NEVER worked upon joining a call EVER!

25:10 – Oh damn they made it to the evil castle.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE PLOT? Nothing. Literally nothing. The fuck you want from me.

Editor’s Note: Technically, we did learn that Brandelis’s big plot kidnaps his religious devotees and drains them of their life force, Matrix-style. Other than that, yeah, it was just a long walk.

Chapter 21-4: We’re still doing this, huh.
Initial Stream: 11/16/20



00:00 – You know when we got to the EVIL CASTLE at the end of the last video I sort of assumed SOMETHING would happen. I was wrong.

ALSO 00:00 – Caliscrub regails us with tales of the noise complaint he got from his neighbors. Apparently he got very excited about street fighter and his neighbors were like THAT’S NOT ALLOWED. Caliscrub’s neighbors suck.

00:57 – Greatest tweet of all time.

10:20 – "Please respect the jargon, Cali. They’re called FUCKOS."

14:00 – Don’t even talk to us if you don’t know about Street Sharks Season 4.

20:00 – For a brief moment, we all break kayfabe and admit that we’re actually glad we started this hell project because it allows a regular human connection in these trying times. Then we all dive right back into talking shit about each other and about this game, which is bad.

XX:XX – At some point between the prior timestamp and the next timestamp, we talked about THE WORST WEBCOMIC. I’m not telling you the time, or the webcomic, because I want it to be a surprise.

30:00 – Caliscrub asks if we can tell where we are in the dungeon. We cannot. This game is bad.

40:30 – Oh shit, an actual cutscene! The horrible Mascot character is weak to the aura of the bad guys or something, so it leaves. Thank god.

53:00 – ACTUAL PLOT RELEVANT CUTSCENE TIME! Turns out the dude with the dumb mask and the knight with all the feathers were…

57:30 – …THE ANIME TEENS PARENTS!!! DUN DUNN DUNNNNNNNN!!!!! Oh also we killed them. and froze our older system or our aunt or whatever the white haired lady’s deal is inside a crystal. Like a piece of shit wizard.

1:04:00 – FINAL BOSS TIME!

1:07:00 – Final boss did that JRPG bullshit where you totally won but once his HP’s at zero he’s like HAHA I WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOSE YOU CAN NEVER DEFEAT ME LOL. It’s a bad video game. (Pedantic Editor’s Note: Okay, technically this is Brandelis revealing that he has so much power, he can just Cure4 his wounds as much as he wants. Subtle difference between here and that earlier chapter where he actually was faking. Same ultimate result, though.) This causes Anime boy to crystal the bad guy AND ALSO HIMSELF. Everyone’s dead or dead-adjacent except Anime girl… ROLL CREDITS.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE PLOT?: Turns out the Anime Teens caused all the problems. They fixed all the problems, except doing so killed them. Everyone is dead and/or sad. This is the final update, there definitely won’t be any more updates after this one because the game is over forever and ever.

Turn those Corners Up Part 1: LOL JK
Initial Stream: 11/16/20



00:00 – IT WAS A CLEVAR DECEPTION!!!!! Did you think the game was over? I sure did!

02:30 – I HOPE YOU WOAH DEJA VU


Okay for real, it’s kind of genuinely clever how the BAD END RESET takes the form of Anime Girl basically bargaining with God to get a do-over. Sort of like if the good end of undertale played out in the text instead of just being subtext. 6/10 for being kind of clever almost. Also apparently the COST of getting a do-over was the horrible mascot’s life! So 8/10!

08:40 – Hey it’s our aunt or our sister or our older friend that we trapped inside a cube or some shit. I guess we’re gonna try and be like "Hey… our bad" this time? Whatever. We’re talking about The X-Men Movies. Logan is so fucking good, holy shit.

15:00 – I am forcing you to become aware of the greatest new word. BAHAMUDONK. You have been enlightened. You’re welcome

17:00 – So it turns out the amazing timeline-saving thing we need to do to PROPERLY PREPARE for the final battle so it doesn’t go to hell is… pick all the good end items from a menu. The first one is bad Bahamut or maybe good Bahamut who cares (Editor’s Note: I do! It’s good Bahamut. Bad Bahamut is the final boss.). I’m talking about how the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy fucked up so badly at the finish line it retroactively poisoned the whole thing. Fuck you JJ Abrams.

25:00 – I’m not sure where this Giant Robot came from, and honestly I’m afraid to ask.

35:40 – That boss fight took around 15 minutes and Gogglebob was literally sitting on the fast forward button the whole time. This is a bad video game.

39:00 – I got distracted by real-time models of the solar system, which caused Gogglebob to continue into the next bullshit sidequest, dragging out the length of this video. I’m sorry.

49:00 – Yeah the entire chat is at the "oh god let it end already" point.

AND THEN WE JUST TALKED ABOUT RANDOM SHIT UNTIL IT ENDED.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE PLOT?: Anime Teen girl sacrified the mascot for a reset. Then the teens met up with the… relative(?) they killed(??) earlier, and figured out that they have to do a lot of sidequests to get the good ending, and start by fighting visually identical dragons FOR FUCKING EVER.

Editor’s Note: We also learned from Wynne that the twins were known as the “Demon Dyad” a hundred years back, and they commanded the most powerful summons on the planet… albeit poorly enough to be publicly known as “demons”. During this section, we reclaimed (good) Bahamut and Diablos. With Ifrit, Shiva, and Ramuh already on our side, only two more to go!

And special thank you again to BEAT for writing all of this!

What’s next in World of Final Fantasy: Good ending! Everybody dance now!