SBC #53 Charizard & Pokémon Legends: Z-A

I may have to admit that I was wrong…

Eleven years ago, I put forth a simple theory: the Pokémon universe is a game. In short, the game you are playing in any mainline Pokémon title is basically a theme park or fantasy camp or alike where “you” are a ticketed customer, and 95% of the people you interact with are actors playing pretend to make the latest Pokémon trainer feel good. All the world threatening monsters and fifth graders becoming regional champions are make-believe, and everyone from the gym leaders to Team Rocket are no more “real” than Winnie the Pooh waddling around Epcot. The Pokémon world as we know it is all smoke and mirrors. This must be true, because there is no way mankind can advance side-by-side with anything considered a “poison type”.

But thanks to Pokémon Legends: Z-A, I have a new theory: Pokémon is real within its own world, but anyone over the age of 15 is a chronically depressed nihilist.

Pokémon X & Y took place in the Kalos region. Kalos is Pokémon-France, and you can visit Pokémon-Paris, Lumiose City. In a dramatic change for the franchise, Pokémon Legends: Z-A only occurs within the borders of Lumiose City. Pokémon X & Y had twenty (or so) different towns, along with a host of routes, caves, and smoking craters. The concept that Pokémon Legends: Z-A only takes place within 3% of the area of a game that released twelve years earlier sounds antithetical to fun. But it works! Lumiose City was always a big city, and now it has been expanded to feel like something the size of an entire Pokémon world. There are parks, rooftops, and sewers to explore! We’ve got it all! And, since this is a goddamned Pokémon game (goddammit!), we’ve got Pokémon! New “wild zones” are all over town, and you can catch a Heracross right outside your home!

And this is where things start getting weird.

So, to be absolutely clear, the Wild Zones of Pokémon Legends: Z-A are more or less the central conflict of the story. Yes, there is a giant, world-threatening problem, and there are a handful of scary(ish) themed gangs running around; but Wild Zones are the thing that everyone is talking about. Right from the start of this adventure, a significant source of conflict is the new and official Lumiose City Wild Zone project. Should “wild” Pokémon live within city limits? They are effectively “fenced-in” by holozones: should the fences fall so we have Pokémon everywhere? And many battles that are influenced by the Big Bad of this story, the rampaging Alpha Pokémon and Rogue Mega Evolution Pokémon, are only threats because they are tearing things up in a residential area. It is all well and good to have a Mega Camerupt launching meteors around the countryside, but in front of the daycare? Can you even imagine having a family or running a business in such a situation?

Well, this gal doesn’t have to imagine:

So are brooms super effective on poison spikes?

Wild Zones increase in number as the game continues. From a gameplay perspective, this is a simple progress check: you can technically explore the entire city right from the beginning, but more and higher-level Pokémon appear with these new Wild Zones. They have to generate gradually, or you could get a level 50 Aggron on your first day. And there is a plot justification for this, too! When you first arrive in Lumiose, this whole undertaking has just begun, so more Wild Zones are being added over (imaginary) weeks to accommodate new Pokémon that are steadily migrating in. Or maybe there are lengthy debates with the zoning board. Or it is a matter of purchasing more virtual fencing. Whatever the case, it naturally makes sense that Wild Zones increase in number over the course of your time in the big city.

And you are not asked to consider the poor restaurant owner that wakes up one day to find a murder monster is now patrolling her block.

Make no mistake: Pokémon Legends: Z-A really does establish some of your favorite lil’ guys as murder monsters. The very start of the franchise claimed that Professor Oak was loaning you a starter because it was dangerous to go alone and enter tall grass that was ten steps from your house. The wild world of Pokémon Legends: Arceus proved that if a Pokémon was allowed to target you, it would smack you around until you drop. Pokémon Legends: Z-A continues this tradition, and, given this player’s experience, Pokémon are worse. I never “died” in Pokémon Legends: Arceus until one of the final boss battles, but I was dropped by a rogue Hawlucha pretty damn early in Z-A. And it was just an Alpha! Not a Mega! From there, my poor trainer “blacked out” during a number of battles, often thanks to a Pokémon that had Shadow Sneak, Fly, or some other attack where they pretty much just pop out of the ground and obliterate a trainer. And I know exactly why this happened! Many of the Wild Zones are small, and when I see a Trevenant with laser eyes that is 10 levels ahead of my party, I ignore it in favor of catching the manageable little Phantump floating around. And sometimes that makes the Trevenant angry, which means I have nowhere to go when it starts slapping me around with those ghost branches. As near as I can tell, you lose nothing but pride after being murdered by a Pokémon. So there is nothing discouraging you from going about your business, and simply hoping The Death Bringer is going to stay in its lane. You try to enjoy your day, just get your tasks done, knowing full well that grievous injury means nothing.

So, yeah, maybe I can understand what that restaurant gal is thinking. Sure, maybe she and her customers will be punctured by the giant bee with swords for hands, but they’ve got free healthcare. Unimaginable pain, but it’s only going to be five minutes of your day. You’re not going to give up prime real estate in the city because of a little thing like that.

The average Pokémon World denizen is so desensitized by years of pokéviolence by the time they are an adult that unyielding agony does not remotely matter anymore.

And that is before we get to the whole “your life is not your own” problem.

Pokémon Legends: Z-A is the second Pokémon Legends title. Despite utilizing the Legends name, the overall plot of Pokémon Legends: Z-A is a direct continuation of the story of Pokémon X/Y. In fact, in a different world where Pokémon X/Y had its “sequel/expansion game” like every other Pokémon title before the advent of DLC, the plot of a mythical “Pokémon Z” likely would have been very similar to Pokémon Legends: Z-A. This sharply contrasts with Pokémon Legends: Arceus, a title that was a “sequel” to Pokémon Diamond/Pearl, but veered wildly into a different concept. In Pokémon Legends: Arceus, you still were venturing across the Sinnoh region, but it was many centuries in the past, practically at the dawn of the age of Pokémon. And, lest you think you are just some anonymous, ancient trainer in that title, you are distinctly noted as a time traveler from the modern era (and possibly the original star of Pokémon Diamond/Pearl). The Pokémon god Arceus has summoned your mighty ability to tell Stunky what to do from the distant future, and now this modern man (or woman) must complete a series of tasks from back before indoor plumbing. The whole concept was an excellent hook for a new Pokémon adventure (it sure does beat “here’s a new place, whatever, go nuts”), and the whole “ancient past” thing meant no one had to worry about continuity or retroactive plot shifts. It was hundreds of years ago! Nobody is going to remember what happened!

And then Pokémon Legends: Z-A made Pokémon Legends: Arceus just as canon and “remembered” as Pokémon X/Y.

It is noted that Professor Laventon’s Pokédex was “thought lost, but found in a shed in Sinnoh”. And that works! It allows Laventon’s discoveries to be part of the Pokémon canon, but since the ‘dex was discovered later, it does not invalidate or interfere with the findings of professors like Oak who only thought there were 151 pocket monsters running around. On the other hand, if Professor Laventon’s completed Pokédex is available, that means it includes his entries on “fossil” Pokémon roaming well after extinction, and anachronistic Porygon. You know, Porygon, the Pokémon that, according to lore (which was repeated in this very game), was invented recently. And never mind its two evolutions that can only exist thanks to computer software. There is proof in the Pokémon universe that time travel just kinda happens for arbitrary reasons, and this evidence is on display at a museum where people hang out with their pet bugs. Go look at some lovely art of the Galar region, and then scoot upstairs to confirm that everyone is living in a predestination paradox.

Oh, and there is the distinct possibility that this is not a predestination paradox. It is possible that Laventon’s Pokédex was recently “found” because it was recently created by the time travel that Arceus instigated. You are now living in an alternate timeline because a pocket monster haphazardly decided that some kid needed to fight a Kleavor.

And if you think this museum exhibit is the work of the Illuminati or something, you can just scoot over to the Unova region, and speak to Subway Boss Ingo, who traveled to the past and back, and now is just hanging out with his brother fighting random trainers. It is 100% confirmed in-game by the museum and with another random NPC! Dude has personally visited the past, and it just meant he had to get a new coat! You do not even have to be some chosen one! Arceus is just grabbin’ dudes!

We are done with time travel, let’s look at the realm of the mind. The DLC of Pokémon Legends: ZA introduces the titular “mega dimension” where a duplicate created by your subconscious can hang out, and people from the real world can stop by and have a conversation with your unfettered unconscious thoughts. A (sorta) cop distinctly uses this inroad to interrogate a former criminal without their knowledge. And the ostensible heroes of the story are just okay with that! And this scenario was only possible because a child gave pastry to a Pokémon. Or maybe you can blame a different Pokémon that got hit with a power beam and became an eldritch Kirby boss. Either way, this invasion of privacy is brought to you by pocket monsters that are traditionally “trained” by kids not even old enough to have opinions on seasons of The Simpsons.

So, to review the plot of Pokémon Legends: Z-A, if you live in a city in the Pokémon universe, it is factually true that…

1. A Pokémon could make it so strangers can invade your dreams
2. A Pokémon could black out the sun
3. A Pokémon could change all of history (and you would never know)
4. A Pokémon could make you and/or a wannabe despot live for 3,000 years
5. A Pokemon that is a sentient chunk of flying poison could decide to just live outside your door

Add it all up, and it is clear what has happened. Sure, maybe this is a fantasy land that could not actually operate in any sort of “real” fashion. But if we take Pokémon canon on its own terms, then we can acknowledge that anyone over the age of 18 in this environment would recognize that nothing matters. Gotta go to work, pay rent, etc., and if you have to cancel a date tomorrow because the Eiffel Tower is now a conscious plant that is attempting to destroy the city, well, that is just the way the cookie crumbles. Reschedule for a time when there are less laser beams being fired in your neighborhood.

It is fun to be a kid and “play Pokémon”.

It is an existential nightmare to be an adult and do your grocery shopping through a fog of fire and poison.

I… might be able to relate.

SBC #53 Charizard & Pokémon Legends: Z-A

Charizard in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

• They any Good? The heavy of Pokémon Trainer’s trio, and the only one to fight on their own during Super Smash Bros. 4. What we have here is my undisputed favorite of our ‘mons. They owe an awful lot to Bowser with their weight and flames, but they have wings, too! They were Ridley before we got Ridley, and Lord knows I love me some Ridley.
• That final smash work? We have covered this final smash twice now, so I am just going to lament losing the old Mega Charizard X final smash from the previous game. In fact, I miss all of the transformation final smashes. Let me turn into a weird little guy for ten seconds! I understand why this is gone forever, but becoming part dragon for an instant was delightful.
• The background work? Charizard is a noted dragon, so we are heading over to Yoshi’s Island (Melee). This is the one with the diagonal slopes and rotating blocks in the exact middle of the stage. This is unquestionably rad. My only complaint is that you occasionally respawn right over those rotating blocks, and, if you are not paying attention, right down into the pit you go.
• Classic Mode: The Future Champion should treat Kirby like a Pokémon. He always winds up in plushy displays with these monster weirdos. It makes sense!
• First Appearance: Charizard was one of the “wing boys” in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which gave him a significant advantage over the other heavy characters that could barely move to save their lives. Unfortunately, they were also part of the Pokémon trio, which meant a significant disadvantage to simply existing. So it is probably a wash.
• Smash Trivia: It is hinted in official canon that Charizard was “misbehaving” during Super Smash Bros. 4, but learned to be more obedient between games to rejoin Pokémon Trainer’s team. Now I kind of want to see how Pokémon Trainer works as a character with a replacement pocket monster…

• Amiibo Corner: Look at this big boy stomping around. It is a shame they do not properly scale with their buddies, though. A Squirtle should never be as big as a Charizard! Regardless, the claws are nice and pointy, and the tail flame is delightfully translucent. There is even color on the bottom of their foot! That’s a dedication to detail never seen on a Skylander.

• Another Amiibo Corner: We are not going to have an entire other article for Pokémon Trainer… mostly because I do not want to address that final smash for a fourth time. So! Here is Pokémon Trainer: The Amiibo! The details/sculpting on the jeans is kind of amazing, the backpack has individual pockets to match the storage of the parent games, and P.T. is holding a perfect little pokéball. That face is incredibly anime, and there is no detailing on the nose, but there is a teeny tiny bump to indicate how this creature can breathe. Really impressive all around, and you can even pretend this is Ash if you are so inclined.
• Does Smash Bros Remember Today’s Game? The rare “double ice backfire” of references. Pokémon Legends: Z-A was released well after Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, but Super Smash Bros. Ultimate makes direct references to Pokémon X/Y, and specifically Lumiose City/Prism Tower, which is integral to Z-A. So let’s say this is a situation where Smash Bros. was prescient.

Charizard in Pokémon Legends: Z-A

• System: Nintendo Switch and Nintendo Switch 2. I played this entirely on the Nintendo Switch 2, and I genuinely do not know if that makes this “populate a whole Pokémon city” thing go faster, or if it is just a coincidence that I did not spend half the game yelling at loading screens.
• Number of players: I can never remember how I judge Pokémon games. It is a mainly single player experience, but trading is 100% required to complete the Pokédex. And if you want to earn all those mega stones, you need to play infinity player mode with global battling. So… uh… let’s settle on two players.
• Inviting Comparisons: Sorry to say, I prefer Pokémon Legends: Arceus to Pokémon Legends: Z-A. Both games are good! But nothing in Z-A compares to obtaining rideable Pokémon in Arceus to completely recontextualize old areas. I kept waiting for something that turned Lumiose on its head the same way getting a friggen’ psychic eagle in Hisui changed everything in that adventure, but the best we could ever get was a new way to scale scaffolding at about the halfway point. Boo! I still like the general vibes of the Legends franchise (possibly even more than the main series), but the unfettered freedom of Arceus fell by the wayside here, and I want it back.
• On the Other Hand: I appreciate how many of the trainers in Pokémon Legends: Z-A are completely new, and do not have to share design DNA with previously established characters. You just know the whole of Team MZ would be expies of Pokémon X/Y luminaries if they followed the original Legends model. Canari is an original character, do not steal her!
• Let’s Fight: I also like the changes to the battle system! This is the most active a Pokémon fight has ever been, and moves having differing charge times means there is an actual reason to keep status buffs and debuffs in your moveset beyond exploiting Swords Dance. Oh! And this makes some of the status ailments, like paralyze or confusion, about 10,000% more manageable. We have come a long way from Lapras sentencing your Pikachu to death with a single body slam.
• Mega Hassles: But I do not care for the Rogue Mega Battles, or any events based on that general framing. Adding “dodge roll all the time” to any Pokémon encounter does not make it better. Additionally, some of the Megas commit the unforgiveable sin of “fly off screen, be invincible, and launch a bunch of attacks you have to keep dodging” while you are negotiating a mega energy timer. That is awful. The final boss is awful. The final boss of the DLC is awful (but in a different way). Yes, I distinctly asked for more Pokémon games to have climatic battles for important moments, but this ain’t it.
• Xenobladeification: It is dependent on whether you are in the middle of a task, but there are occasions where the onscreen notifications and menus take up roughly 60% of the screen, and you can barely see an ekans for all the icons in your way. This reminds me deeply of Xenoblade Chronicles, and I am not looking forward to a new Pokémon title that overemphasizes catgirls.
• Favorite Trainer that You Fight Way More Times Than You Should: Jacinthe. Though I want my trainer to be able to earn a Lebanne outfit. No follow-up questions, please.
• But Other Questions: Lebanne was forced to become a knight for the Fairy Queen, and she is damned to a life of submission. I understand her deal. So why does professional dancer and Team MZ strategist Lida always look like she has just been kidnapped? I want to resist saying “you should smile more”, but her expressions tell me she joined this team at knifepoint.
• Let’s talk about the DLC: Boy, these Pokémon on-screen actions can be super finicky with whether or not your little buddy will actually navigate the pathfinding properly or somehow launch an ice beam and possibly whiff on hitting an inanimate object three inches in front of their jaw. Good thing none of these actions are important when you are in a dangerous or stressful situation. Would sure be a pain in the ass if someone based an entire system on your dumb Pokémon failing over and over again while there was a ticking clock that would all but guarantee hours of lost progress. Glad they avoided that blunder!
• Did you know? In the Pokémon Black/White titles, you see Bianca grow from a rival trainer to a woman that wants to pursue a career as a Pokémon Professor, like her idol, Professor Juniper. In Pokémon Sword/Shield, Sonia starts in much the same position as Bianca at the end of her story, and, through hard work, dedication, and publishing a book about legendary Pokémon, she officially becomes a Pokémon Professor in her own right. In Pokémon Legends: Z-A, Mable is sentenced to be a Pokémon Professor as part of a work-release program, and the alternative is jailtime for that pesky business of her attempting to kill half the people in the world. This is further proof of the inherent nihilism of the Pokémon world.
• Would I play again: We’ll talk about that more next month.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Lovish! Can you feel the love tonight? You will! Please look forward to it!