Across a sea that can only be crossed by giant spider monster, we encounter…
Location: The Tower of Sol
What’s the deal: Sol was one of two enormous countries involved in a continental war before the Mist rocked the world. When the Mist arrived, the city of Sol was engulfed, but everyone sufficiently high up in the Tower of Sol was safe.
What’s the plan: The army of Sol and Emperor Etora Ignao Durk de La Micentus the Eighth were all hanging out on the lower levels when the Mist arrived, so it is unclear if Sol has a centralized government anymore. But what people are left are partying. The upper levels of Sol are a happy place, with bars, casinos, comedy clubs, and monks on the roof that do everyone’s laundry. There are a few sad sacks that are lamenting their family left on lower levels, but everyone else is celebrating like it’s the end of the world. And why shouldn’t they? Not like they can get out of this tower without being mauled…
How did it work out: Pretty dang well! The monks up on the roof handed over a Genesis Tree Sapling when the heroes arrived, and their quest through the bottom levels (and its attendant bread-based security system) saved Sol and the surrounding area. After the Mist cleared out, this whole new hedonism-based economy seemed to persist, and nobody cared about the war anymore. That’s a net win for humanity!
How could it have gone wrong: The Tower of Sol had one protector, Gaza, a knight that had fought in that previously mentioned continental war. He was integral in keeping the monsters at bay, and slicing up any Seru that attempted to scale the stairs. And our protagonists beat the snot out of him, leaving him to be carried away by noted genocidal maniac, Songi. Had our “heroes” decided to abandon Sol before restoring the tree at that point… Well… Let’s just say we do not know if a Seru can play Baka Fighter in the arcade, but someone is definitely getting a game over.
Final Grade: Those that escaped the Mist in Sol made out pretty well, and they seem none too concerned with international relations or how many innocent people Gaza inadvertently murdered. So hedonism tower worked out well for everybody. While it may seem a bit incredulous for a videogame to offer the moral of “stay in your room and play videogames”, you cannot argue with results…
Even Worse Streams Presents Legend of Legaia
April 4, 2023
- Jeanie, BEAT, and fanboymaster are here! And we’re feeding mimics!
- “Holy shit those are just forks. What the hell?”
- “Trying to maintain one tone for 30 hours is a losing battle.”
- Caliscrub arrives as we hit the basement of the tower.
- We offer the appropriate amount of reverence for “Super Geezer” becoming a tree.
- Ample Vigour joins as we talk about the joys of portable CD players.
- Paw Patrol is the story of a future that the tech industry is reaching for.
- We arrive at frozen Buma as everyone gets bored enough to review my website… Uh… You know… The one you’re on now.
- Because Legend of Legaia is so interesting, we wind up considering an alternate universe where Roger Ebert is a gamer, and Sonny Bono is president. No explanation for this will be given.
- “In my defense, I was pretty racist.”
- As our heroes reach a magical pyramid, we talk about those forums and a dude “who liked Touhou so much he went to prison”.
- The suggestion of a Harry Potter reboot prompts the query, “First of all: what is Gossip Girls?”
- “Your new handle is LegaiaRespecter2014.”
- Everyone is assigned obscure 3DO games as we enter the “three separate paths” of Nivora Ravine.
- White Men Can’t Jump is noted as objective anti-fun as we approach the infamous Delilas triad boss of the area.
- And as we note a complete lack of excitement for the (then) upcoming Mario movie, we return to the thawed town of Buma to revive the Genesis Trees. Woo.
Next time on Legend of Legaia: A castle in the sky and the foretold crash.