It looks like today is October 3, Nutrition Day. I’m going to eat a balanced diet of chicken breasts, chicken wings, and chicken drumsticks. It’s important to eat from all the different food groups, right?

Previously on Wild Arms 3: We met what may or may not be an elf, and she helped us get our Pikmin on.


But now we are done with optional content and back on the trail of advancing the plot.


Clive’s family gave us two potential leads. The gem mine is closer physically, but Fortune Gear is a potential Guardian shrine, and those dungeons have consistently reaped the best rewards across this quest.




The last Guardian Shrine felt empty, but, like two shrines back, this one likely has an intruder.


Gonna have to exhume another god corpse…


Dungeon/plot synergy! This room/platform serves no other purpose than to remind you that Clive got married here, and Fortune Gear is available for parties and bar mitzvahs.


Unfortunately, there is a bit of a monster problem.


Critters are the slimes of the dungeon, and are about as ineffective as monsters get.


Just go ahead and waste a turn, why don’t you?


Griffins are more threatening, but still little more than road bumps about to become road pizza.


Oh, you can raise your speed stat and use wind magic? Nobody cares.


There are some nice drops here, though. You have to be lucky (appropriate for this dungeon), but you can score the Cait’s Boots from critters. This accessory will boost speed when HP is low, which is ideal for Virginia, your squishy healer.


Past the altar is the main entrance to the dungeon, but…


Above that is a duplicator-sealed door.


If you are somehow trying to conserve duplicators, this summon-stock-up item isn’t that amazing, but…


The other chest talks?


I swear this game dumps all the game-wide sidequests on you all at once. This treasure chest keeps a running, omnipotent tally of all the treasure chests you have ever opened. No, it does not offer clues to where you may be missing one (or 319). However, once you open all the other chests, you get to fight a super boss, and that super boss drops yet another “end game bonus” item. So, as has been mentioned in this Let’s Play before, there is a reason to find and open literally every treasure chest in Wild Arms 3.


Okay, we’ll come back here after we’ve opened every chest ever (maybe). Time to get the dungeon going proper.


Our first mundane hallway contains a secret.


If you see a skip in the game time, it’s because I came back to this wall later. Every later hallway that looks like this area has a door located right about where that bomb is placed. After completing the dungeon, I returned to this room to find…




A duplicator chest contains a Migrant Seal. Always need more of those!


Moving on to the “real” challenge…


You have 12 moves to play Concentration.


There are four colors, and you have to activate the lamps so they match. Green and yellow is a loss!


I think these lamps are randomized, but I genuinely do not know or care if that is true. Nor do I know what happens when you run out of “turns”. Whatever. Here we are just before matching green to green.


This leads to a hallway that includes a treasure room that does not require bombing to score the chests.


Hey! A book!


Hey! An annoying puzzle!


This is the same deal as the previous area, except with the added pain in the ass of holes popping up all over the place.


I played this on two different systems, and I swear some of the holes are randomized. Or maybe they only appear if you activate certain lamps? Whatever the case, this is more annoying than anything, as the holes just serve to reset your position back to the entrance, and potentially mess up your memory of what color is where.


Just past that irritating puzzle is our irritating boss.


Always be suspicious of localized black holes.


Jet? Bro? Remember to bring sunglasses next time you need to follow up such a sick line.


Olivier! Welcome back, buddy.


Olivier was the boss of Lilka’s introductory dungeon back in Wild Arms 2. Aside from a graphical upgrade, he looks pretty much the same.


He’s going to be a little more resistant to magic this time, though.


You must take Jet’s advice and make Olly eat bullets, as he will literally devour any and all elemental attacks. He is also fond of barfing.


As you might expect from this gross malcontent, status effects are the name of the game here.


Don’t you wipe your boogers on me!


Remember that filling your FP gauge up to 100/”Condition Green” will cure all status effects. This battle will probably last long enough that it could save a few consumables.


Olivier had a more interesting death animation in Wild Arms 2…


Hazel Sprig will protect against Disease, one of the many status ailments Olivier could inflict.


Bad vibes!


And bad news…


There is still more dungeon to go here.


And it is most certainly Janus.


March on, brave warriors!


Full disclosure: I have no idea how this puzzle works.


Pressing a button does… something? Am I supposed to make that light stop at a particular statue?


How about I just break the whole stupid thing? Does that work for you?


Was I only ever supposed to light that torch? Did I correctly guess it should be the East one? Was it just a matter of lighting a single torch? Or freezing the other pillars? Hell if I know.


The “bomb”/treasure corridor in the hallway is blocked by an impassable door this time.


But running headfirst into a nearby switch solves that problem.


And there are two duplicator-sealed items in this dungeon! How convenient!


The next room has a bit of a variation on that Concentration puzzle.


There is not a counter on this puzzle, but the lamps turn off after being activated really quickly. So you have to find the matching colors, and then find ways to instantly activate the two corresponding lamps. In this case, tossing out the steady doll is probably your best bet.


And just past there is the end of the dungeon. Check out that hot chock!


Hi, Janus!


Virginia coming in hot!


That’s good and smug, Janus, but you know there is no way we are avoiding a boss fight at this point.


It is vaguely hilarious that the Prophets just went ahead and gave Janus, the least trustworthy person on Filgaia, the spear that is the entire lynchpin of their plan.


What a loyal dog.


They already told us. You were there.


Oh, never mind. Looks like Janus just has better ideas.


Gasp. Betrayal and all that riot.


This is what happens when you chow down on a god.


“Wrong, Virginia. What I do best is crocheting. But double-crossing is one of my other skills.”


These kinds of people always have an explanation for why they’re the secret hero…


This is evil/true.


And Janus is very familiar with being a pawn.


Not new information!


He used to be so nice!


Incoming monster.


So technically this is a clue as to what to do in this fight.


Most parties (i.e. those that are not participating in a New Game+) will get bodied by Janus’s opening salvo. Your first reaction may be that this fight is unwinnable (like the last time we saw Janus), but analyzing your opponent will reveal the truth…


Scan Janus, and you will see that his talk of draining the Guardian was not all bluster: Janus starts with literally every buff possible in Wild Arms 3.


Two Guardians back, we received the Eraser spell. This is Wild Arms 3’s dispel ability that eliminates buffs.


One cast of that, and this boss fight becomes vastly more manageable.


And Janus does not “rebuff” after the battle begins, so you don’t even have to worry about conserving FP for an Eraser cast again. Just wail on ‘em.


Yeah yeah, act like our attacks don’t do anything or whatever. We won.


It’s not that funny!


No way anything is painless with that spear around.


I am moderately certain this is not a “you are allowed to lose” fight, as I soundly trounced Janus in both playthroughs. That said, regardless of outcome, Virginia winds up on the floor.


And just when you think Janus is going to finish the party…


He decides to play with his meal.


He did already defeat us once a few updates back.


Oh, now Virginia remembers it is possible to stop someone from walking away?


Janus does not take directions well.


More gods to kill…


Janus walks out, the party recovers, and Gallows decides to see what’s left of the local deity.


New Medium! Score!


The Luck Guardian is pissed the heck off.


You also both just got kicked in the head by the same guy.


Gallows decides to have a little introspection.


Going to get your own dark spear?


Clive’s main purpose in the party is identifying when someone needs a moment.


Don’t know why Gallows decides to stop monologuing, We’re all friends here, G.


Being a demon is not true freedom. Getting crunk at Little Twister is the real dream.


“And then I get crazy go nuts with the metaphors.”


That’s as good of an excuse as any!


“If Janus kills all my gods, then telling my granny and her whole religion to go screw is going to be less satisfying.”


Revenge freedom!


We got a new book we can read to the kid, so that sounds heartwarming.


And we’re done with Fortune Gear. As previously mentioned, you have the choice of visiting Fortune Gear or the Gem Cave first, but Fortune Gear is always the best choice. A new Guardian Medium outranks anything you would find in the other quest.


Lucky Hand does not actually increase your luck, but it does increase your evade stat.


If you want more Luck, you’ll have to utilize its personal skill, Luck Boost. This medium can also grant EXP Boost and Gella Boost. These skills obviously don’t technically help you in a boss battle, but having more EXP for higher levels or Gella for ARMs upgrading is obviously a significant boon.


And here are your spells for this medium.

· Hox pox temporarily increases luck… but that is only vitally useful if you are extremely focused on critical hits. Otherwise, for important battles, it basically just increases your odds of not being hit by a status effect you could cure in one round anyway. However, it can be useful if you are trying to score rare drops from mundane enemies.

· Pickpocket is Wild Arms 3’s steal command. Wild Arms 3 is not the kind of game where “steal” earns you rare items, so it is pretty useless. Basically just an excuse to augment a monster’s "rare" drops. There are some special cases where it will come in handy, but those are arguably mandatory and heavily hinted. Most (if not all?) common bosses in Wild Arms 3 literally do not have anything to steal.

· Randomizer costs 0 FP, and randomly casts one of your other spells. Note that the spell is randomly chosen exclusively from your list of current spells, so you won’t see anything outside of what is currently equipped. This seems like it would be a good “last ditch effort” when your FP is tapped out, but the odds of it actually being useful for a particular situation are super low. Probably just “randomly” cast Pickpocket…

· And Familiar… despite the description, it generates a non-elemental attack. It can be super powerful… but, like the basic theme for this Guardian, it is luck-based, and thus incredibly variable. Wild Arms 3 offers a lot of attack options already at this point in the game, so ignoring the costly (60 FP) Familiar is an easy choice.

Given these spells are almost universally terrible, I usually designate Clive as the bearer as the Luck Medium, as his atrocious magic stat means he loses nothing from never visiting his spell list. This pairs well with the Fire Medium, as Fire’s critical plus personal skill and Luck’s luck plus personal skill will mean more critical hits.


And here is the Luck Guardian himself, Chapapanga. Chappy has generally the same design as when he first appeared in Wild Arms 2, where he was an optional guardian that lived in a shrine by Brad’s adopted hometown. The joke of this character is he is dressed like some kind of superhero, but has the unfortunate handicap of being like six inches tall. As you may expect, his summon attack does very little damage, and is universally useless against bosses. But! You may want to use it during normal encounters, as if you successfully land a finishing blow with Chapapanga, the defeated monster is guaranteed to drop an item. This is a right pain in the arse, but useful if you are dedicated to obtaining some random creature’s drop.

Fun fact: This was Chapapanga’s final appearance until Wild Arms 5, where he reappeared redressed as some kind of “cool” ninja. I understand the urge to make him a little more attractive to edgy audiences, but New-Chapapanga dropped the goggles, and that is a sin I cannot forgive.


And that’s that for Fortune Gear. Did everyone enjoy seeing where Clive got married? No? Too bad.

Next time on Wild Arms 3: Enemies to lovers fic (with cosplay)!

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