Superman: Man of Games 01 (1979-1992)

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman! And he has been appearing in a plethora of videogames going back to practically the start of gaming. But are any of these games remotely entertaining? Let’s spend a few weeks finding out!

Superman
1988
Taito
Arcade

Available Superpowers:

• Flight (unlimited)
• Super Strength (people sure are getting punched hard)
• Super Punch (just in case you need to punch even harder)
• Heat Vision (available in flight-only sections)

Noted Opponents:

• Random aliens
• Some manner of giant green troll
• Lex Luthor
• A Helicopter

Is Superman Invincible?
No, but at least everything attacking him appears to be superpowered, too. Taking damage is marginally justified.

Is Superman Homicidal?
It sure seems like a number of aliens do not survive these encounters. Superman is an alien himself, so even if the local police do not identify it as such, this is morally criminal.

Is it any fun?
This is a fun quasi-beat ‘em up for 1988. An experience worthy of twenty-five cents.

Charm Point
Lex Luthor kicks up his feet and folds his arms while piloting spaceships. It’s casual day for supervillains.

Superman
1979
Atari
Atari 2600

Available Superpowers:

• Flight (unlimited)
• Super Strength (can carry people/bridges)
• X-Ray Vision (can view other “screens”… And this really sounds like telescoping vision, but whatever)

Noted Opponents:

• Random crooks
• A Helicopter
• Lex Luthor

Is Superman Invincible?
Yes! But kryptonite will turn Superman back into Clark Kent, and he will require a kiss from Lois Lane to reacquire his birthright powers.

Is Superman Homicidal?
All crooks are safely carried to jail, so this winds up as one of the most bloodless Superman titles.

Is it any fun?
Judging by the standard of “released three years before E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial”, yes. Judging it against literally any game from modern times… Well, it is not quite worth a playthrough.

Charm Point
Lois Lane is weirdly immediately identifiable despite the limitations of the Atari 2600.

Superman
1987
Kemco
Nintendo Entertainment System

Available Superpowers:

• Super Jumping
• Super Strength? I guess?
• X-Ray vision (makes invisible enemies visible)
• Super Flight
• Super Spin
• Heat Vision
• Super Breath-1, Super Breath-2 (both freeze breath)
• Super Hearing (use unknown)
• All powers limited by a super meter

Noted Opponents:

• A city full of generic crooks
• Lex Luthor
• The Krypton Trio: Ursa, Non, and General Zod

Is Superman Invincible?
Big no on that one. Superman loses health after coming into contact with practically everything, and will revert to a weaker Clark Kent form when he is at critical health. Fun fact: transforming back into a regular human does not improve his survival chances.

Is Superman Homicidal?
The Man of Tomorrow is punching regular gangsters into tomorrow, and there are no hospitals available tomorrow. We can assume Superman has murdered half of Metropolis’ population by the time he is fighting Zod.

Is it any fun?
This may have been fun once by virtue of being a Link’s Adventure-esque “large” game with a full map and places to explore. However, its esoteric goals and hit detection are more than a little annoying nowadays.

Charm Point
That Statue of Liberty is surprisingly cute (and talkative).

Sunman
1992 (kinda)
Sunsoft
Nintendo Entertainment System

Available Superpowers:

• Super Strength
• Flight (unlimited)
• Heat Vision (flying stages)
• Super Spin (for drilling capability)

Noted Opponents:

• Many generic robots
• (Legally not) Parademons
• (Legally not) Lex Luthor
• (Legally not) Brainiac
• (Legally not) General Zod
• (Legally fine) A helicopter

Is Superman Invincible?
Sunman takes plenty of hits and loses plenty of health, but we really do not know the scope of his powers.

Is Superman Homicidal?
Sunman is not responsible for the bevy of regular crooks attempting a train robbery that are clearly knocked right off the tracks.

Is it any fun?
Easily the best game of the night. Shocker: the people that brought us the best Batman game for a console generation or two also produced a great Superman game. Only issue is that this game was never released in any capacity, so boo to copyright law.

Charm Point
The Super Spin is amazing, but stopping a speeding locomotive by hammering buttons is good, super fun.

Even Worse Streams Presents Superman
Night 1

Random Notes:

• Alright, folks, we are going to be playing every Superman videogame we can find! The idea is we play a game until it is beaten… Or we get too bored. We’ll see how it goes! BEAT, fanboymaster, and I are… starting off with a coin error, apparently? What the heck is that?
• After a quick preview of Superman 64 discussion, we attempt to brainstorm good Superman games.
• Prepare yourself for the worst Paul Reubens/Neon Genesis Evangelion joke known to man.
• Ample Vigour joins as Superman conquers the moon.
• One game down! Moving on to Superman Atari 2600! Let’s talk about Jump Force!
• Caithness joins to see… uh… whatever Atari flickering is happening here.
• Let’s investigate the fakest centipede scores available.
• Okay, game is beaten… I think? Moving on to the NES.
• Caliscrub joins about halfway into attempting to beat this confusing Nintendo game.
• “They’re just frying this porkbelly in butter. I don’t get it!”
• Skreamin Red Skull joins in an attempt to explain what the heck is going on with these graphics. Chibimans.
• Bludhaven is bestest city USA.
• After addressing “foodular” Soylent, we move on to our final game of the night, Sunman.
• Sunman: The superhero that punches you in the back of the head.
• Ample Vigour retires just as I find the level skip code for our final game. This is going to make continuing easier!
• Remember The Ripping Friends? It’s best if you do not.
• And we happily beat Sunman after a quick Dragon Ball Z discussion. See you next week!

Next Super Issue: The Genesis of Superman

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