OMGPimp My Ride for the Playstation 2 is, unlike its associated television show, a rote, boring experience. Xzibit repeatedly talking about rusted out hubcaps might be interesting enough on MTV, but it doesn’t exactly lead to the most motivating gameplay. However! Pimp My Ride has very informative loading screens, so rather than try to ream some meaning out of this Activision shovelware, let’s take a look at a number of Pimp My Ride’s best Pimp Tips.

FGC #474 Pimp My Ride

  • WeeeeeSystem: Playstation 2 for this review, but also available on the Nintendo Wii and Sony PSP. Apparently the PSP version was so bad, it would occasionally eat your save file. That’s the one thing a game isn’t supposed to do!
  • Number of players: Pimpin’ is a solitary pursuit
  • Maybe actually talk about the game for a second: Pimp My Ride is basically a series of rhythm game-esque mini games tied together by vaguely Grand Theft Auto style driving around a teeny tiny city. It gets old approximately ten seconds after you start the game, and I don’t fault anyone for quitting this about ten minutes after booting ‘er up. However, as boring and weightless as the entire game feels, it does wind up being oddly comforting in its repetition after a while, so I could potentially see actually enjoying this title on something like a mobile device port. … Wait, what was that about the PSP version deleting progress randomly?
  • Ghost Ride the Whip: The advertising for Pimp My Ride emphasizes repeatedly that you may “Ghost Ride the Whip”. I’m still not 100% certain what this means, but it is portrayed during the game as dancing outside your car (the whip?) while the vehicle coasts along without a driver. Now, I assume this is merely a licensing issue, but I presume in normal “ghost riding” situations, there is a skeleton with a leather jacket and flaming skull steering the car in your steed. That is much safer.
  • Yo!Favorite Thing That Happens in This Game: You can build a sewing machine into a truck. Because the best time to be sewing is while riding in the back of a pickup. That’s how style is created.
  • Favorite Customer: Lucas enjoys “fantasy role playing games and weaponry”. Lucas obviously leads a vast, fulfilling life.
  • Did you know? Xzibit is a stage name, his real name is Alvin Nathaniel Joiner. He does have a sister named Xgamez, though, so there was clearly something going on in that family.
  • Would I play again: No. Pimpin’ ain’t easy or fun.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Contra 4 for the Nintendo DS! Bum bum bum bum buh buuuuuuuuum! Please look forward to it!

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