SBC #44 Mii Swordfighter & Super Smash Bros. Remix

BEAT claims that “We never let go of our past.” So how about videogame developers get back to the glory of… specifically about 2005?

Allow me to explain in a brief, concise way that encompasses the whole of antiquity.

Due to the inexorable march of time, we see history as a straight line. Humanity is constantly moving forward, and society grows and upgrades. Yes, there are your various “Fall of the Glorious Empire” or “Dark Ages” events, but those are outliers. Humanity is constantly getting stronger, smarter, healthier, and, most of all, better. We are better humans than we were a thousand years ago, or even a skimpy hundred years back. We are better than our grandparents. Every second we move forward in time we are moving forward in progress.

This is bullshit. There are quantifiable ways you can measure the progress of humanity (we have absolutely kicked infant mortality’s ass [give or take a Kennedy]), but there are also many perspectives that portray contemporary humanity as being worse for the world at large. America outlawed slavery, and every man is free (assuming you are not a prisoner or someone that society has deemed derisory enough to be paid pennies). We have more wealth than there has ever been, and we have agreed our unhoused are that way because they want to be. Cars killed 42,514 people in 2022, but they also help a lot of people get to work on time, so, it is impossible to say if they are bad. And, to be absolutely clear (and stave off a few angry emails): I am not saying that our current society is somehow terrible because we allow functional slavery or alike (though, in typing that out, maybe we should do something about that). My statement is that our forward momentum has had several branching points. By the very nature of only living in our own reality, we patently cannot know if a world without vehicles would be better, or if society as we know it would collapse if we didn’t grant Mark Zuckerberg entire chunks of Hawaii. Maybe Facebook was a load bearing pillar of the COVID vaccine being invented! We don’t know! And we will never know, because there is no way to divert the tracks of time and see what could have happened at a different juncture.

But we can play that game with our media a lil’ bit.

Back to the present of twenty years ago: what was so special about gaming in 2005? The Gameboy Advance was released in the Summer of 2001. Right from the start of that system, Nintendo released Super Mario Advance. Super Mario Advance was not an entirely new game, though. It was Super Mario Bros. 2, a NES title from 1988, combined with a version of Mario Bros., the arcade hit from 1983. No matter how you sliced it, this was from at least thirteen years in the past. And gamers are not fond of the past! So, presumably in an effort to offer a new experience, Super Mario Advance gave us a version of Super Mario Bros. 2 that never would have been possible back in the 80’s. Collectible coins in every level! Advanced graphics! Voice clips of dubious quality! Robirdo! But, overall, it is still Super Mario Bros. 2, complete with bizarre jumping physics and mushroom placement that requires psychic abilities (or a subscription to Nintendo Power). In short, Super Mario Advance is Super Mario Bros. 2, but with a few new flourishes to separate it from its ancestor.

And, for practically the entire existence of the Gameboy Advance, we saw “rereleases” of games with new, added features. Mario would go on to have multiple Advance titles of abysmal naming quality, and he was certainly not the only gaming luminary to take that path. Kirby saw a Nightmare in Dreamland, and A Link to the Past got a Link to multiple swords. Even games like Breath of Fire or Mega Man and Bass saw improved versions that were more than simple ports. And, practically naming the genre, the entire Final Fantasy franchise (that had existed on 8-bit and 16-bit consoles) got ported to Final Fantasy Advance versions (well, nearly that whole franchise). Square Enix could be relied on to release new-old games regularly for the little portable system, and an excuse to replay Final Fantasy 5 was always welcome.

And the Final Fantasy Advance games were… Something. There are two things that have always been true about every Final Fantasy game:

1. They are carefully calibrated adventures with a traceable experience/equipment curve so you keep pace with your opponents but are never too overpowered.
2. They are broken in a thousand ways: some obvious, and other issues emergent.

And, frankly, any director revisiting a Final Fantasy game has the opportunity to improve things like stats and abilities that do not and have not ever worked (aka the “blind does literally nothing” issue). And once that is taken care of, maybe it would be a good idea to add some challenges and new areas that exist outside the parameters of the original adventure. Final Fantasy 6 famously gives you about seventeen different options for nuking everything in the World of Ruin. Maybe there could be an area where those old standbys are not a universal win button? Or at least something where dual casting 1 MP Ultima does not solve every problem? You don’t have to nerf what is already there, just let us try something new and different.

The Final Fantasy Advance titles were generally successful with offering new and different challenges. But did these fresh challenges also offer rewards that completely broke the “main game” forever? Absolutely! You cannot offer a +256 Sword as a prize and then expect the rest of the world to properly contort around that bazooka. Chaos never had a chance against a party that had to learn the plural form of the word “Masamune”. But a modified difficulty curve doesn’t make the new game bad, just different. The original is still over there on the original hardware, and this Advance version is the new, 2005 version available now on your Gameboy Advance. Give it a try! You might enjoy it!

But something subtle happened with all of these Advance titles: due to accommodating the original game in some capacity, all of these “Advance” titles had to work within the parameters of yesterday, not today (“today”). Basically, you could take all of Subcon, upgrade the graphics, add all-new voices, swap out some bosses, and even add extra challenges; but Mario still has to control basically like he did in 1988. This patently could not be New Super Mario Bros., it had to be a variation on Super Mario Bros. 2. It, by definition of purpose, had to be more retro than modern. It had to be the original game first, and “advanced” second.

All of the Advance titles, from Mario to Kirby to Black Mage, wound up being divergent evolutions of their original source games. Super Mario Bros. 2 gave way to Super Mario Bros. 3 to Super Mario World in “our” timeline. But what if Super Mario Bros. 2 was only incrementally improved, and there were no other future Marios? Well, here is Super Mario Bros. Advance, and a whole host of other games that apply the same thinking to other games.

Now long after the Gameboy Advance retired, fans have produced a modern “Advance” title. Here is Super Smash Bros. Remix. It poses a simple question: what if Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo 64 came back with a few revisions?

For anyone concerned about the fidelity of OG Super Smash Bros., don’t worry, all your old friends are here. Give or take a few tweaks (and the ability to play with international versions), the original roster is untouched, and all those familiar stages and “Classic Mode” are there and ready to go. You can absolutely have a four-way fight at Hyrule Castle with Donkey Kong, Mario, Star Fox, and Kirby all tossing around baseball bats. The spirit of 1999 is alive and well.

But the original roster of twelve has now been expanded to include an additional eighteen luminaries. Peach, Bowser, Dr. Mario, Sheik (but not Zelda), King Dedede, Falco, Wolf, Mewtwo, Marth, and Sonic the Hedgehog are all present with approximations of their movesets from later Smash titles. Additionally, we have only-overalls Wario and Banjo & Kazooie using moves generally based on their later incarnations, but modified to fit the constraints of the time/hardware (and, ya know, before Wario ever had a Ware). Young Link and Ganondorf are here, but much more based on their N64 incarnations (Ganondorf has Phantom Ganon’s trident, Young Link is very Majora’s Mask-coded with bombchus). And there are completely original newcomers: Conker, Marina, Goemon, and Crash Bandicoot round out the cast. Yes, you can have a fight between Crash, Mario, and Sonic to determine the fate of the console wars of the late 20th Century! Throw in Conker to represent his Microsoftian future!

In fact, those new characters being who they are really emphasize the joys of a project like this. Marina of Mischief Makers only ever had one game. Goemon barely resurfaced past this point in history. Conker and Crash Bandicoot have been relegated to remake collections in recent decades. But back when Super Smash Bros. was new? These were the stars of the medium! Goemon was the lead in a franchise that was just as established as Contra or Mega Man. Conker and Crash Bandicoot were the cool, new animals with attitude that were surely going to unseat Sonic the Hedgehog. And Marina was a Treasure darling that highlighted the wonder and creativity that was possible in this new world of 64-bit graphics. Something all of these stars have in common? Nobody gives a crap about ‘em anymore. Nowadays, the same nostalgia that propelled Banjo & Kazooie to Ultimate could maybe give us Crash Bandicoot, but the rest are firmly considered of their time. In 2025, you have about the same odds as seeing a playable Goemon as the return of B.O.B.

But in this mythical, Remix timeline where 1999 lasted forever? All of these also-rans can flourish. And, since the game has been released in our modern era, we can also have a few anachronisms that keep the spirit of the Advance alive. Like Gilgamesh being retroactively inserted into Final Fantasy 6 Advance, we have “Bonus Characters” like Dark Samus, Lucas, and Roy existing out of time. And a few more bonus characters are here for the express purpose of just having fun with nonsense. Want to play as a Polygon Fighter, or Metal Mario? Go right ahead! Super Sonic, Giga Bowser, Giant Donkey Kong, and even Master Hand are all available for any round of Smash. Are they considered “tournament legal”? Of course not! But the finale of our dear, official Super Smash Bros. Ultimate confirmed that giving a host of opponents a big hand to the afterlife is a blast. We also have Lanky Kong, who is remarkably overpowered despite his funny face. Did not expect that one.

This is the dream of the Advance games writ large. We have the base game that was a hit unto itself, but was sublimated by its much more prominent sequels. Super Smash Bros. Melee is synonymous with the Nintendo GameCube, and there was never a reason for Nintendo to look back at the “proof of concept” origins of the franchise. But Super Smash Bros. Remix took up that torch, and it is the most fun I have had with this franchise since that key guy dropped into Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. In fact, for this article, I kept “just trying” this rom hack, and then wound up playing it for hours at a time. This was a good game with good bones to begin with, and now this Remix is something wholly amazing.

So go play Super Smash Bros. Remix. It is the evolutionary “what if” of the start of a legendary franchise, and all the new bells and whistles will keep you entertained for hours. While you are playing that, I will stay here and close this article out with a federally mandated bummer. Why don’t we see “Advance” style remakes anymore? Well, the simple answer is that it is cheaper to produce the same game over and over again, and devoting resources to a slightly modified experience is a waste. You either have a complete remake like Final Fantasy 7 Remake and the Resident Evil Remasters, or you just pump out the same exact game all over again. The “in-between” of the Advance releases are a thing of the past. And a likely reason for that was that the 2004 release of Metroid: Zero Mission could arguably be called an “Advance” remake of Metroid (1). And you know what outsold Metroid: Zero Mission? Metroid (1), just by itself, as an unmodified Gameboy Advance cartridge. Metroid: Zero Mission even included a copy of Metroid! It was two games in one! But, still, the masses voted with their wallets, and “the originals” won in a landslide.

But at least we have Super Smash Bros. Remix to keep the dream of 2005 alive.

SBC #44 Mii Swordfighter & Super Smash Bros. Remix

Goemon Mii Swordfighter in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

• They any Good? There is a lot of Link DNA in Mii Swordfighter. But perhaps the same could be said of all anime sword guys? Regardless, Mii Swordfighter has the range to be a lot of fun, give or take too many of the customizable moves being counter-based. And, hey, Goemon Mii Swordfighter can at least throw a ninja star. It is not a coin, but it will do.
• That final smash work? Final Edge launches a whole lot of shadow projectiles. First of all, who had the bright idea to give the sword fighter a projectile-based attack? Secondly, the shadows are less damage-y, more pushy, and that does not wind up providing the same “heft” that you find in other Final Smashes. In closing, Mii Swordfighter, please see me after class.
• The background work? There is nothing ninja-appropriate enough for Goemon, so we will focus on the Mii side of things with Tomodachi Life. The separate sections with Miis are cute, but the transparency effect going in and out can make for a surprisingly stressful fight. Who knew there was a hammer hiding in that room?! Also, this stage’s gimmick reminds me my Switch 2 collection of custom Miis is anemic. I would instantly buy a device that automatically transfers 20-year-old Miis from my Wii to my Switch 2.
• Classic Mode: Like Mii Brawler and Mii Gunner, Mii Swordfighter does not have a Classic Mode. Even Ridley gets a classic mode, and he ate Samus’s parents!
• Smash Trivia: In the spirit battles of World of Light, Mii Swordfighter gets assigned to anyone that so much as ever handled a stick. Zelgius of Fire Emblem is a swordfighter, but Viridi famously wields a scythe, not a sword. And the Sebastian Tute of Wii Music or Vince of Art Academy? Right out.

• Amiibo Corner: Default Mii Swordfighter has an expression that screams “I am about to get punched in the face”. And he is! Sorry! It is likely a happy accident, but ever since The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was released, Mii Swordfighter’s blue ‘n straps ensemble now makes him look like a bootleg Link. That is… probably good?
• Does Smash Bros Remember Today’s Game? Super Smash Bros. Ultimate neither confirms nor denies the existence of any fan remixes of previous games in the franchise. Also: Goemon should have his own stage in Ultimate.

Goemon in Super Smash Bros. Remix

• System: Technically Nintendo 64. But, for some reason, my Nintendo 64 is not involved when I’m playing this game. How odd.
• Number of players: Do not get excited about “Twelve Character Battle”: you just cycle through twelve different characters for that one. This is still a four-player experience.
• Maybe Talk about Goemon for a Minute: I apologize for blowing any chance to play an actual Mystical Ninja game for this slot. Could have featured that N64 game for fanboymaster, but it was not to be. That said, Goemon is glorious in Super Smash Bros. Remix. He really does feel like you might expect from his various adventures, and his all-purpose grapple pipe can come in handy. And Ebisumaru is playable, too! With a moveset that is just different enough to be quirky and generate foodstuffs. It is a shame Smash Bros. did not include final smashes until Brawl, because the only thing missing is Goemon Impact destroying everything.
• Just like you remember: The polygonal models of Super Smash Bros. Remix are 100% based on their early N64 appearances, so we have a Princess Peach that is ready to bake a cake, and Bowser is more hunched and ready to be tossed into a floating mine. And, yes, that is to be expected, but you really do not notice how much the Mario (and Kirby) cast evolved between the N64 and GameCube. And the Nintendo DS version of Mario 64 is a complete lie.
• Favorite Character: Did I mention that Slippy Toad and Peppy Hare are playable? Slippy winds up being a cross between Fox McCloud and Luigi, and that is simultaneously very appropriate and super effective.
• No Items: Some extra items from later Smash titles have snuck in, like Mr. Saturn, the Franklin Badge, and a few other accessories not found in Earthbound. But most interesting is the Remix-original P-Wing, which temporarily confers infinite jumping while it lasts. And… damn, Smash Bros., how did you not execute this exact item once in the last few decades?
• Final Destination: It is a lot easier to assemble a stage than a wholly new character, so there are something like 80 stages available. The original barely broke double digits! Some of the new stages are from later Smash titles (always happy to see Flat Zone), but a great many are wholly unique. Casino Night Zone is a personal favorite, but stages from Shantae, Doom, Jack Bros, Marvel vs. Capcom 2, and even Quest 64 are available as well. Does this mean we’ll see Brian vs. X-Men in the future? Probably not.
• Just play the gig, man: Nintendo, please hire everyone who worked on this labor of love (that exists for educational purposes), but particularly grab any of the composers involved. That previously mentioned Marvel vs. Capcom 2 stage? It has music that is an “N64 demake” of a Dreamcast ditty. And I want to listen to it forever! Who would have thought such a thing possible?
• Who is that guy? Dragon King is one of the bonus characters. He is based on the prototype of a game that would one day be Smash Bros that was known as Dragon King: The Fighting Game. Sakurai claims that the concept of Dragon King: The Fighting Game got upgraded when he saw the original roster as too generic for a console experience. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the bizarre story of how a fighting game that was “too generic” eventually grew to feature a puff ball fighting a demon nepo baby.
• Arithmetic Corner: There are 30 characters (not including the 16, “banned” bonus characters). 12 of the fighters were in the original Smash Bros., 18 are new to this version. Thus, if you use random select, you have a 40% chance of getting someone old, and a 60% for someone new to the N64. So, if I am doing my math right (no guarantees), if you have a 4-player smash, and everyone chooses random select, there is a meager 2% chance that you will have a battle featuring only the classic cast. Odds are good that Goemon is going to sneak in there!
• Did you know? Clefairy was originally intended for Super Smash Bros. She was going to be a variation on Kirby in some capacity, and was theoretically dumped in favor of Jigglypuff. This is consistent with tales that Game Freak expected Clefairy to be the mascot of the Pokémon franchise before Pikachu defibrillated into our hearts.
• Would I play again: Yes. God Yes. This is a lot of fun, and including a bunch of characters that are wholly new means I don’t just have solutions like “this is how you counter Yoshi” sitting in my back pocket. I have no idea what to do with Ebisumaru! And that is wonderful!

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… DUCK: Dangerous Ultimate Cartridge Kidnapped! It’s the duck game for Nintendo Switch, but not Duck Game, which is a totally different thing. Anyway, please look forward to it!