MKK: Mileena & Jade

Saiya

What we’ve got here is a clear “evil twin” situation. Mileena is a genetic abomination resulting from Shang Tsung mixing Kitana’s DNA with presumably some random Tarkatan (Baraka’s race) DNA. As a result, she is a perfect clone, save the eensy weensy caveat that her face is about 90% teeth. Interestingly, this is the only aspect of her Tarkatan DNA taking hold (perhaps save Mileena’s bloodlust… though in this universe, that’s extremely relative), and extremely convenient arm-blades were left in some DNA that fell to the bleeding room floor. But Millena picked up a pair of sai to compensate because someone read Frank Miller’s Daredevil and Kitana and Mileena are just Elektra with the serial numbers filed off, and, at her introduction, she’s ready to be Shao Kahn’s #2 assassin.

And then Kitana killed her, because who hasn’t killed their evil twin at one time or another?

In the new timeline, Shinnok and Quan Chi were able to conscript nearly the entire kast as killer zombies, as pretty much every fighter was dead by the end of Mortal Kombat 3 (redux). In the original timeline, though, the kharacters were a lot more indestructible, so they were left with the dregs of Sub-Zero I and Mileena. Sub-Zero was transformed into shadow wraith Noob Saibot, and Mileena… well, nobody felt like modifying Kitana’s sprite past changing her swimsuit’s color, so Mileena stayed Milenna. She participated in Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 as a hidden character (not coincidentally returning with the same update that included her sister), and was officially an undead ghoul that looked/operated exactly like her original, slightly more alive initial appearance. It was also revealed during this time that she had a one-way telepathic door into her sister’s thoughts… and then that was never mentioned again.

Saiya

Since Shinnok decided to invade Earth during Mortal Kombat 4, Mileena was allowed to participate when Kitana showed up for Mortal Kombat (4) Gold (seeing a pattern here?). Again, Mileena spent most of her time trying (unsuccessfully) to kill Kitana, and then Kitana managed to Bugs Bunny her sister down a trap floor. Mileena thus retained her “mostly alive” status (Noob Saibot continued to be a shadow monster, while Mileena stayed just a regular monster), but was locked away for quite a while in a dungeon that smelled way too much like Kano.

Milenna had to sit out Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance while Mario was busy rescuing toads in other castles, but she returned with a vengeance (as always, literally) during Mortal Kombat: Deception. Kitana had amassed quite the amazing army during her time as a princess, but, unfortunately, she was knocked off by Quan Chi during the finale of DA. Unfortunately for her forces, though, none of the good guys at the scene survived long enough to email a proper obituary to the Outworld Times (“All the News That’s Fit to Print in Blood”), so no one was particularly aware of Kitana’s untimely death. Baraka, obviously bored and horny, broke Mileena out of jail at this time, and Mileena instantly hatched a fool-proof plan to impersonate her sister and effectively rule Edenia and Outworld’s “rebellion” armies. All she had to do was wear a veil literally all the time, and if anyone called her on this unusual fashion choice, she’d just explain that… I don’t know… she had a really embarrassing goiter? And then she’d have Baraka kill the curious cat. And if anyone questioned why she suddenly had Baraka hanging around all the time, well, you better believe that’s gonna deserve another visit from Baraka. There probably wouldn’t be any questions after that.

Beyond the veil

And you know what? Mileena was a pretty good Kitana. That makes sense, though, right? Kitana was great at her job, and Mileena is her exact duplicate, but also an undead creature with a heaping helping of monster warrior DNA. She managed to take back Shao Kahn’s fortress, and effectively conquered the whole of Outworld… about seven seconds before Shao Kahn made his triumphant return. Mileena immediately capitulated to Shao Kahn the instant he returned to “her” throne room, and Mileena dropped the Kitana act to become Shao Kahn’s henchman again for the first time since Mortal Kombat 2. Thus, Mileena was firmly on Shao Kahn’s side for MK: Armageddon, which turned out to be a great choice, as Shao Kahn actually won that tournament. Yes, Mileena died again, and, of course, the universe got rebooted, but sometimes it is nice to be on the winning side.

Oh, incidentally, Mileena’s (non-kanon) ending for MK:A features Mileena gaining Kitana’s normal human shape, and Kitana being “cursed” with Mileena’s signature choppers. This leads to Mileena becoming a content ruler of Edenia/Outworld, and Kitana going crazy in a dungeon. Is Mileena only a monster because she looks like a monster? Or, in a game where most other kharacters get endings involving gaining god-like abilities (and/or f^%&ing centaurs), are the writers of Mortal Kombat leaning a bit heavily on the whole “all women just want to be pretty, and are homicidally jealous if they aren’t” trope? Something to think about until the end of this paragraph!

Bloody

Okay, stop thinking about Mileena and her place in feminism, it’s time to think about Mileena and her place on the sexometer. Mortal Kombat 9 was a dedicated reboot for the franchise, and an opportunity for some hardcore advertising campaigns to the degree of “Mortal Kombat’s back, baby!” In addition to touting itself as the most Mortal Kombat-est Mortal Kombat in Mortal Kombat history, the deranged minds behind Mortal Kombat (‘s advertising campaigns) decided to play up the sexiness of Mortal Kombat through an extremely muddled, sex-based campaign featuring Mileena. On one hand, you had renders of Mileena straight up appearing in Playboy. She was mostly naked, save her veil and a pair of sai covering her naughtiest bits. Then, the game itself made a point of retkonning Mileena’s “birth” to take place during Mortal Kombat 2 (redux), when her original backstory put her at a few centuries old (like her sister). This, of course, meant that “just born” Mileena could appear in a “costume” that was basically a few strips of cloth tied around some key places. This alternate costume was available to the player through some fairly intense earning-requirements, and, when unlocked, awarded the trophy titled “Best…Alternate…EVER!" Basically, Mortal Kombat 9 was full-on horny for Mileena, which coupled in an extremely uncomfortable manner with her in-game biography:

“Shang Tsung has created many abominable creatures in his Flesh Pits, but none so twisted as Mileena. A fusion of Edenian flesh and Tarkatan blood, Mileena is both beauty and beast. This dichotomy has made her mind unstable; she is prone to fits of madness and savagery. Though she has the appearance of a mature woman, she is more child than adult–a blank slate conformed to Shao Kahn’s will. Devoid of conscience or remorse, Mileena will butcher anyone to appease her beloved father.”

Oh, the game’s prime sex object has the mind of a child and excessively loves her abusive daddy. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go take an angry nap.

Mileena Kahn

Anywho, aside from generally menacing Kitana (as usual), Mileena didn’t really accomplish much besides inspiring some confusing boners during Mortal Kombat 9. As what seemed to be a karmatic apology from the universe (of MK writers), Mileena became the official ruler of Outworld after Shao Kahn was vaporized by the Elder Gods during MK9’s finale. Mileena was technically created to be Shao Kahn’s heir, after all, so it does make a certain amount of sense that she’d be next in line for the throne. And apparently she got over that whole “mind of a child” thing just in time to be a fairly ruthless dictator with a posse of Shao Kahn’s various goons. Unfortunately, her good luck runs out right about when Mortal Kombat X gets going, as she is quickly betrayed by Reptile (who witnessed her “birth” in the flesh pits and likely only stuck around so long out of respect for her mouth’s similarity to a t-rex ) and then Ermac (who continually proves to be kind of a jerk). Kotal Kahn then seizes control of Outworld, and Mileena is left with Team Scrappy Rebellion That Will Eventually Betray Her, which includes noted traitors Tanya, Rain, and Kano. In a shocking turn of events, Mileena is betrayed by, like, everybody, and is eventually killed via a Kotal Kahn-ordered, bug-based death kiss. Mileena was so happy she finally managed to use Outworld sorcery to grow some lips, too!

Aside from a Mortal Kombat X (presumably non-kanon) ending that states Mileena’s soul could migrate to a spare Mileena body, Mileena seems to spend the rest of the “new” Mortal Kombat Universe’s existence as a non-participating corpse. Oh well. At least she outlived Kitana this time!

She has a ninja turtle weapon, too

The final “sister”, Jade is one of three hidden kharacters featured in Mortal Kombat 2. She was (theoretically) the easiest to battle, as she simply required winning a lone round using only low kicks during a specific match. After that, a green version of Kitana/Mileena would appear, and, if you managed to beat her… uh… congratulations? Yay, you fought and beat a hidden fighter, time to move on to Kintaro. Compared to the hype surrounding a certain other green ninja, Jade seemed rather perfunctory, and the “least” of the newly introduced crop of color-swapped weirdos lurking in the shadows.

And, frankly, Mortal Kombat 3 did little to rectify this situation. Jade did not reappear until MK3’s first revision, Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, and was reintroduced as Kitana’s personal bodyguard turned body hunter. Jade was tasked with bringing in Kitana (for the murder of Mileena, natch), but decided to squelch out on the deal with Shao Kahn to team up with Kitana against her other pursuer, More Popular Green Ninja. Thus, Jade was defined for all future appearances as Kitana’s best friend, and, were the Mortal Kombat universe a sitcom, Jade would be overweight (or at least “Hollywood overweight”) and would continually make racey comments about Liu Kang (“I don’t know about you, girlfriend, but I’d sure like to see his animality!”). That is her entire role in the kanon: Jade does not return until Mortal Kombat: Deception, and she’s only there to avenge the death/zombification of Kitana. And then, with Kitana revived for MK: Armageddon, Jade… just kinda helped. That’s it. Even her ending is just like “uh… she saved the world… and everyone loved her. The end.”

Super best friends

Mortal Kombat 9 saw Jade go through the same MK1-3 BS again (work for Shao Kahn, “watch” Kitana, quit job because girl power), with the significant change that Queen Sindel managed to rip Jade’s heart out before the end of Mortal Kombat 3 (redux). To be clear, that was not metaphorical, and an undead Jade joined Kitana and the rest of her buddies as the undead hordes of Hell.

Jade finally got her own personality in Mortal Kombat 11, when a time-displaced Jade drops into the present and reveals that she used to have a thing with the current ruler of Outworld, Kotal Kahn. Jade was introduced in 1993, and, finally, 26 years later, earns another personality trait beyond “is friends with Kitana”. Mind you, all this really does is establish that Jade likes boys (who are routinely mistaken for literal gods), but that’s more than we had before! She gets her own featured chapter out of this development, but it’s predominantly just about how “young/naive” Jade is a lot less bloodthirsty than “old/grizzled” Kotal Kahn, a guy who literally drinks blood. Jade seems to soften Kotal Kahn a tweak, but it is once again Kitana who steals the limelight and ties off all the Kotal Kahn business.

Sorry, Jade, we can’t all be as successful as a cold-blooded reptile man.

Jade!

Next time: There’s fire.

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