Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Pacland
Only one family was stirring, that of Pac-Man.
Mister, Miss, and Baby were out in the snow
Trying to give this capering thing a go.

The happy family

The ghosts appeared to ruin everyone’s fun
To see that the Pac-Family would be forever done.
But they were swiftly banished with a power pellet
And during their escape, upset a man in red velvet.

Santa fell to Pacland with a tremendous clatter.
The Pac-family rushed to see what was the matter.
“Stay away from that man,” warned Missus Pac,
“You never know when strange creatures will attack!”

You don't know where it's been!

The moon was high in the sky, but Santa was not.
The ghosts didn’t know the horror they had wrought.
With good St. Nick buried and crashed,
Hopes for a jolly Christmas were dashed.

The Pac folk were scared, but still resolute.
They had to help the strange man in the red suit.
So they dragged the gang out of this quagmire,
And stuck them all in front of the fire.

Now Dasher, now, Dancer, now, Prancer and Vixen,
Oh, Comet, oh, Cupid, oh Donner and Blitzen!
They all had bumps and bruises and cuts,
But the biggest problem was Santa the klutz.

They look dead to anybody else?

The sleigh had been full of toys for every boy and girl,
But when the ghosts attacked, they flew off in a whirl.
So the toys were lost, forever and ever, it would appear,
Which was a much bigger problem than eight damaged reindeer.

But Pac-Man spent his life collecting weird dots,
So it shouldn’t be a problem to find toys for tots.
He set out into the blizzard with his loyal Pac-Dog,
While Santa sat and warmed himself by a burning Yule log.

Those ghosts, they recovered, and got to the toys first.
Maybe not all monsters are naughty, but these were the worst.
They played with the toys meant for every good lad
Even though they knew they had been nothing but bad.

They're just having fun!

Under the snow, Pac-Man did stealthily burrow,
But his sneaking skills weren’t exactly thorough,
The ghosts discovered the intruder with some haste,
And then the poor Pac-Man found himself chased.

So proud of himself

If there was one thing he could do, it was outrace a ghost,
So Pac-Man maintained speed, and kept the monsters engrossed,
While a furry little pac-dog grabbed a great big sack,
And started the long journey home, all the way back.

Pac-Man escaped, and the ghosts were lost,
But the blizzard was blowing a killing frost.
About the time man and dog fell right off a bluff,
Well, the odds of success were looking pretty rough.

Down I go...

But they both made it home safe, all the toys in tow,
Even if Pac-Man did look like a corpse from Fargo.
So Christmas was saved… except now it was much too late,
Just hours to go, even Santa couldn’t fly so fast, so great.

Pac-Man had another idea, and they all rushed to the orchard,
Where power pellets grew abundantly, and ghosts were tortured.
Hyped up on pac-drugs, every reindeer started to glow.
Now Santa wouldn’t be late, the reindeer were ready to go!

That can't be natural

So Santa flew from this place, bidding every pac adieu.
The jolly old elf leaving behind this spherical hullaballoo.
Pac-Man and family went home, proud of their good deed,
While reindeer pulled a sleigh at light speed.

But the tale was not over, oh no, not yet,
There were still gifts for the family to get.
A visit from St. Nick meant presents for all,
Like the pac-cat, Sourpuss, who got a yarn ball.

Even the ghosts, whose plans were often malicious,
Received a host of presents, some of them delicious.
Everyone was happy, everyone was filled with joy,
And Pac-Man went back to Smash, where he battled Roy.


And Santa flew through the skies, contemplating that weird land,
That, he surmised, was likely related to a video game brand,
“But no matter,” he was heard to say, with some pomp,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good chomp!”

Thanks for putting up with this nonsense!

2 thoughts on “Christmas Comes to Pacland”

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