Tag Archives: testament

Xenosaga Episode III Part 23a: The End of the Universe

Previously on Xenosaga: Shion was the director of Vector R&D First Division. She was anxious to activate the KOS-MOS project, a sentient android that also doubled as an anti-gnosis weapon. Shion decided she would enter a virtual reality construct to oversee KOS-MOS’s mental development. Then a bunch of stuff happened, and now her ex-boyfriend and boss are working together to reboot the entire universe. Somewhere in there, Junior got a puppy.

Before we begin, I’d like to note that this update is going to be a whopper. I have tried to make the majority of these updates approximately 150 to 200 screenshots, because, as was wisely recommended to me by you, the audience, like a year ago, it allows for a greater amount of discussion. This update is going to be… let’s see here… 389 screenshots. Really? Couldn’t do an even 400? Whatever. Point is that this is going to be a long’un, so get some cocoa or something.

If anything gets confusing (haha, “if”), our next update will be the mandatory “what the hell just happened” post. Please look forward to it! Additionally, we’ll be saving any character denouements for a later post as well. Again, going to be a long enough update as is.

And, incidentally, I did consider slicing this nonsense into more digestible sections, but XS3 crams all this nonsense down your throat at once, so who am I to argue with the director’s intention?

We’re starting with a gif? Okay, fine. Welcome to THE FINAL ROOM. The Brews just followed Kevin in here, and Wilhelm is chilling with some crazy glowy orb and a pair of mechs. The red mech is ES Judah, Kevin’s ES, and it never actually gets to do anything in the whole trilogy.

And Abel is suspended in the fetal position at the center of all this nonsense. Kid has not had a good… ever.

Wilhelm wordlessly snaps his fingers…

Xenosaga Episode III Part 22: Love in the Time of Testaments

Prevously on Xenosaga: Shion found Jesus! And then Kevin!

Here he is!

Shion is excited! She’s outrunning a cyborg and an android!

“’Sup?”

Kevin, she’s successfully murdered every living thing between here and the Elsa. You should be scared.

Kevin has all the answers! Make Shion great again!

Kevin decides that it’s time to reveal his amazing backstory. Get popcorn!

Xenosaga Episode III Part 19: A Jerk Planet for Jerk People

Previously on Xenosaga: The final giant robot has taken flight, everyone has their ultimate weapons (except Junior), and the last great Xenogears reference is in the can. Now is finally the time to confront the end of everything…

Technically this update picks up after Update #17. Abel’s Ark… uh… we don’t know if it disappeared or exploded or The Brews simply left, but one way or another, we’re out here in a section of space that is… rather crowded.

But Albedo gave us that hot tip that Abel and the Zohar have been transported to Michtam, so to Michtam we go.

You know you’re living in a JRPG when your destination, an entire planet, lights up.

But, as has been established since the second chapter of this little story, Michtam is a highly contested piece of real estate.

So, like always, we’re going to bypass this insurmountable problem through Tony’s cutscene-based piloting powers.

Zoom! For the final time!

Xenosaga Episode III Part 17: URTVogears

Previously on Xenosaga: Yuriev played The Brews again, and the Durandal and nearly everyone on it was destroyed in an attempt to infiltrate Abel’s Ark, a gigantic gnosis that is the current home of The Zohar. Yuriev grabbed that Zohar and began to ascend to godhood, and Junior and pals got… I think they rescued a dog at some point?

Here we are, Bridge of the Elsa, same as it ever was. After everything that happened last time, we once again have a moment to breathe before heading into the latest danger zone. Breathing is overrated, let’s get out of here.

Upon starting this mission, a brief scene between chaos and Canaan plays. I guess we have to get into some character development for other characters, and we’re doing it alphabetically (Allen is, naturally, skipped).

Canaan is having an existential crisis, so why not talk to a buddy. Fun fact: Canaan and chaos have known each other for fifteen years… but I think this is the first they’re talking one-on-one in the present.

I can never tell if Canaan is supposed to be stoic or mopey, but I guess this clinches it. Canaan is a sad Realian.

And it turns out…