Tag Archives: chrono trigger

Xenogears 10: Maria & Chu-Chu

Make my monster growNikolai Balthasar was a brilliant scientist from Shevat who was kidnapped and forced into creating Gears for the nefarious Solaris. Solaris was dead set on creating the most advanced mechs on the planet, and Nikolai’s genius in the field of neurological research was unrivaled. With his coerced assistance, Solaris was able to produce inhumane Gears that “swallowed” a person and their consciousness whole, creating a Gear without lag or human error. And, in the end, after losing his wife and life to Solaris, Nikolai became an unwilling victim of his own creation, and was bonded to the Gear Achtzehn.

Achtzehn was a formidable beast of a Gear. Fused with a Nikolai who seemed to lose all empathy for humanity, it was a monster set to destroy the whole of Nikolai’s former home. Fei and his friends stood up to Achtzehn, but it utilized an Anti-Gear Psycho Jammer that disabled all Gears controlled by traditional pilots. This left Maria, Nikolai’s daughter, and the Gear he had created for her, Seibzehn, the only Gears that could stand against this massive threat.

Oh, and there was Chu-Chu, too.

The scripture is… okay… A host of theologians have all but deemed this portion of “history” as… apocryphal. If taken literally, one is to believe that before humanity was ever on this world, there were creatures known as Dotesque Chu-Chupolin. These beings were intelligent, had their own culture, lived in the woods, and, most importantly, were larger than houses. However, those wily so and sos at Solaris found them to be a (gigantic) nuisance, so they installed limiters on the chus, causing them to shrink down to stuffed-animal size. But apparently Fei’s dad (?) was a researcher on these creatures, and he escaped with some chus (?) that had their limiters removed (?), and one of these chus became the companion/pet (?) of Margie. Margie was in Shevat when Achtzehn attacked, and this “Chu-Chu” grew to enormous size to fight alongside Maria.

Is it supposed to do that?And, look, despite how many artists love depicting a giant, pink puffball hanging on the cross, you do not need to believe in the “literal” history of the Chu-Chu to understand the parable here. Chu-Chu was little more than a teddy bear, and Maria was a traumatized teenager of barely 13 (standing in the shadow of a queen that was supposedly 522). They both banded together and repelled a man who had grown into a scientist that could no longer distinguish friend from foe. The “wise, learned man” was defeated by the meekest and most inexperienced defenders around. Whether Chu-Chu could become titanic is immaterial to the fact that this creature somehow assisted in saving people. It is meant to draw a metaphoric parallel between those that think they cannot succeed, and a similarly unsophisticated organism saving the day.

Chu-Chu and Maria worked together to be the heroes of Shevat. You can be a hero, too. That’s the moral. You do not need a mammoth rabbit-mouse thing to reinforce that concept.

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 10

Original Stream Night: April 6, 2021
Night of Quistis Trepe

Random Stream Notes

  • Welcome back to Xenogears! There are not glorious HD squats here.
  • We immediately compare Final Fantasy Amano illustrations to Aqua Teen Hunger Force gags regarding pianos and MP3 conversions.
  • Hey, remember The Granstream Saga? It is better than Chu-chu Land.
  • Would you like a discussion of the comic strip BC thanks to Sega CD title BC Racers?
  • I guess that hurtsPlease enjoy as I check a FAQ to figure out what the heck I am supposed to do to activate the next bit. Talk to a rocking chair?
  • We meet Queen Zephyr while we discuss how gachas should be illegal.
  • Citan’s family is here. Grandia 3 includes your mom in a JRPG. These things are marginally related.
  • Elly has been voted off the island as Maria joins the party. … Oh wait we kept Elly. Sorry, Billy.
  • As we skulk through tunnels with Maria, talk of Final Fantasy 9 leads to talk of SaGa Frontier and Asellus being gay as heck.
  • We discuss Breath of Fire 2, Oddworld, and other games that have influenced our views in weird ways.
  • And Kishi arrives while we are still trying to find our way through these stupid tunnels.
  • “Snowpiercer was in fact inspired by Xenogears.”
  • I assume my Gears are going to survive the onslaught, but save anyway. This is good planning!
  • Kishi brings up their notes for helping the fact that my Gears are a miserable failure.
  • Puppy!“If you want to save fuel…” “Nope!”
  • After two or three game overs, I finally decide to upgrade my Gears. This may have been the issue!
  • Now we can actually make progress. And, yes, despite my objections on the stream, this is uploaded without editing my many losses.
  • “I wiggle in the air to assert dominance.”
  • We are all, obviously, excited by Chu-Chu finally attaining maximum power.
  • Kishi is quiet during the Chu/Giant Robot fight due to really liking the music involved. I can’t blame ‘em.
  • Chu-Chu notes her pure heart as we close.

Next time on Xenogears: Remember Bart? Sure you do! He’s back! In Omni-Form!

Dangerous girl

Xenogears 03: The Will to Fight

Go go Dan!Fei Fong Wong has seen troubles. A man who once fancied himself a simple artist has been forced to fight others. And, every time Fei has embraced -the power-, he and those around him have suffered. When he gained the Weltall, his home village was obliterated. When he saved his friend with that same robot, he was banished to a sandy Hell. Now, when the deposed prince and sand pirate Bartholomew Fatima asks Fei to fight for his noble cause, Fei denies his new friend. Fighting has gotten Fei nowhere, and it is clear that nonviolence is the most direct route to peace.

And then Fei returns to Weltall to fight and repel an invading force of gigantic robot knights.

And then Fei joins a fighting tournament.

And then Fei fights a man that seems to exist only to fight.

And then Fei fights a man beloved by all.

And then Fei fights a woman addicted to drugs and violence.

And then Fei fights a ghost of his past, filled with resentment for the first time Fei fought.

And then Fei fights an even murkier shadow of his past, this time fighting only for the sake of fighting.

And then Fei fights a general that is himself suffering because of Fei’s unknown past.

So Fei learned a valuable lesson about his own possible passivism: never try.

In Fei’s world, violence is the path of the divine.

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 3

Original Stream Night: January 19, 2021
Night of The Symphony (of the Night)

Random Notes on the Stream

  • There’s a coffee machine on the Yggdrasil. Huh.
  • BEAT claims to be paying attention, but he also asks, “are the pirates robots?”
  • As the kidnapping of Margie is discussed by non-robot pirates, we acknowledge the best JRPGs just steal everything.
  • “Fei has problems, but not problems we can fix.”
  • Fanboymaster lets me know that we need to get the Xenogears archives up. This stream was on January 19, 2021, and the first official Gogglebob.com upload of the Let’s Play went up on October 12, 2022. Only 631 days! I am not ashamed!
  • Powerpoint carpetI compare Legend of Legaia to the 2020/2021 COVID response. I should write an article about that…
  • “Are you there dad? It’s me, Bart.”
  • BEAT and Goggle Bob were taken to the criminal factory for mentioning Totally Spies.
  • … Oh yeah… Nothing in the game has happened at this point. I guess some dudes invaded.
  • It was inevitable we would start discussing the finer points of Neon Genesis Evangelion during a giant robot JRPG…
  • Robot Alchemic Drive sounds completely insane/grandmacidal.
  • Ramsus and Miang are introduced floating around in a Xenosaga-esque ship.
  • As the bad guys discuss their plans, we discuss the (then) pending Biden inauguration and Homeboys in Outer Space.

  • Here’s Aveh! Time to discuss Shasta McNasty.
  • “Welcome to Fiesta Day!” It’s the Xenogears Millennial Fair!
  • Abby Denton stops by as Fei straight up gets drunk.
  • Make way for the Ponytailed Slacker.
  • “I think Kingdom Hearts is just Xenogears with a budget” – Abby Denton
  • Caliscrub enters as our heroes eat at the local Red Lobster.
  • Let’s play hide and seek! Like in Breath of Fire 3!
  • Let’s discuss the Dead Rising franchise! It’s all about the wizard staffs!
  • Don't look too closelyAll Virtual Reality games are Wii games. This is my belief. At least for now.
  • Aliens from Planet Funkass are all that. Anyway, this section took forever because I didn’t know what I was doing. It happens.
  • “Why does Dan look so old!?”
  • And, obviously, as the fighting tournament finally begins, we discuss Murphy Brown at length.
  • Somehow, talking about Big Joe leads us to Hudson Hawk.
  • “Dan was born into male pattern baldness. He was molded by it.”
  • While Bart is in the sewers aqueducts, Abby explains how the poop bunnies work in Brave Fencer Musashi. Foreshadowing for future streams!

  • Okay! Bart is making some progress in the not-sewers, and we’re discussing random twitter users who might be Nazis.
  • Bart has got some stealthin’ around to do while we talk about the many martial arts of Ranma ½.
  • Soraya Saga created Edgar Figaro, Sabin Figaro, and Bart. She definitely has a type.
  • On a personal note, I am so bad at this area, even just rewatching this sequence in an effort to make this post makes me want to fast forward…
  • Remember when we had to fight Shion in Xenosaga Episode 3? Good times.
  • Away we goI need a map for Xenogears. I need a map desperately.
  • Margie and Chu-Chu are rescued by Bart! Oh boy!
  • And Bart dies! It was immediately after a save point, so it wasn’t a big deal, but Bart absolutely was not prepared for Ramsus.
  • So I got frustrated and cheated/taught my characters all their death blows. Hooray?
  • While encountering Elly again, Abby performed her rhyming shmyming routine on the stream for the first time. To my knowledge, she has escaped justice, and has suffered no consequences for this act.
  • And then Kishi stopped by for the first time!
  • “Never trust tiny popes.” “What if they’re really cute, though?” “No!”
  • There is some religious learning going on thanks to Kishi’s mysterious “notes”.
  • And we close as Abby defends this bit of the game. She is correct that this section is a tour de force of Xenogears, but these videos seem to indicate they may not be perfect…

Next time on Xenogears: Let’s give Ramsus a hand.

No, not Ryu
Where have I seen this move before?

Xenogears 02: Fei in the Desert

VroomAnd so we again look to the story of Fei Fong Wong.

Fei had tasted -the power- of the enormous Weltall, but forsaken it, as that same power that could have saved his village destroyed it and the people he loved. Without a home or the support of his tribe, Fei visited the nearby Dazil. There, he tried to secure transportation with his last remaining friend, Citan. But when Citan entered the desert alone, Fei chased after him. Fei thought his friend was in danger! And he was! The poor, human Citan was being menaced by enormous Gears not unlike those that had ruined Fei’s life. Fei had but one choice: again pilot the Weltall, and rescue his most loyal companion.

But then the devil came down to Dazil.

The devil came to Fei and said, “If you are the Slayer of God, then why did you slay your friends?”

Fei answered, “It is written: ‘ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Here lies a fiancée no one should trust.’”

Then the devil took step atop his Gear and said, “Slayer of God,” he said, “I brought those Gears to your village. How did you fail so thoroughly?”

Fei answered him, “If you hadn’t come, the village would not have suffered the way it did. You cannot be the person who judges me for an act you instigated.”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the deserts of the world and their sandiness. ”Imagine -the power- I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Fei said to him, “Away from me, Grahf! For it is written: ‘Honor thy Dad, I mean thy Father.’”

Look out!And then the devil got huffy, and left Fei a giant sandworm to fight. And then Fei got captured, regained his giant robot, and had to fight through a stupid dungeon for like three hours. But Balthasar confirmed evolution was a real thing during that little adventure, so we’re not going to talk about that…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 2

Original Stream Night: January 12, 2021
Night of The Monster Rancher

Random Notes on the Stream

  • Welcome to our second town! There’s a lot of sand. We’re going to start with a discussion of some dumb anime, like Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a starter town? … That is the whole title of a show…
  • We would like to publicly state that Even Worse Streams does not in any way condone slavery.
  • Caliscrub enters as Citan talks to Fei about stuff he absolutely shouldn’t know.
  • Hey, did you know The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a great game? It totally is, and better at triggering flags than Xenogears.
  • LET ME READ YOUR FINGERSFei wanders the desert as we try to figure out if Dude, Where’s My Car is a real movie that happened.
  • We are all impressed by Fei getting a free motorcycle like KOS-MOS. A franchise staple!
  • Is it weird that I am nostalgic for references to BEAT’s old, banned Twitter account?
  • Xenogears once again is compared to Chrono Cross and the infamous “you are the Chrono Trigger speech”.
  • And the first video ends as we are kidnapped by soldiers/discuss eyeballs.

  • Hey, if you didn’t catch it yet, Xenogears is Star Wars. We got captured by Tusken Raiders.
  • BEAT appreciates zooming in on people-pixels. The rest of us are not impressed.
  • Bart the Sand Pirate is assumed horny until proven otherwise. This will never be proven otherwise.
  • I cannot believe Caliscrub keeps watching Tusk instead of Xenogears as Fei… dies. Sorry! Didn’t walk fast enough! Quick restart!
  • Bart arrives! And his mech only has one eye!
  • This is getting annoyingBEAT read ahead! He knows about Chu Chu already!
  • Our first Gear dungeon! Oh boy jumping around a cave! Because you can (not) fly.
  • Confirmed: BEAT has beaten Chrono Trigger, but has not collected any cats.
  • We like talking about Geno and Bowser the Furry.
  • As Segment 2 ends, Fanboymaster goads me into explaining how the Gears’ tech points work. I would like to do that… if I knew what the hell they did.

  • “Just let me commit a war crime” – BEAT
  • Balthasar appears! He is one of those guys that makes robots good.
  • The Japanese names of the three sages of Chrono Trigger are Hash, Basch, and Gasch. Their American names start popping up around here in Xenogears…
  • And then there’s a discussion on the Biblical Elijah. We can talk about something other than Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
  • Oh, hey, this dungeon goes on forever while we are reminded this whole streaming thing was once called Dog Street Streams.
  • Penguin Drum and Revolutionary Girl Utena are discussed as Old Man Bal talks about the inevitable Omnigear.
  • Another vrooomWe’re leaving the cave! By going down! It makes perfect sense!
  • Opposite the boss battle with a foreshadowing Gear the Queen biopic is discussed. That movie also had a lot of cats.
  • Pretty much everyone disappears as we explore the Yggdrasil and discuss the future of Xenogears… Wait! BEAT comes back! Then it’s over!

Next time on Xenogears: Let’s Fight!

Xenogears 01: The Story of Fei

Let's Xeno some GearsLet us consider the parable of Fei Fong Wong

Fei had a good life. He was the talk of the town, a prodigious painter, and a friend to children and animals alike. Fei was not a violent man, but he taught others martial arts with enough skill that it was clear he had studied it prodigiously in the past. And what was Fei’s past? Nobody knew! Fei was a complete tabula rasa when he arrived at the village of Lahan. But even without memories of a former life, Fei was a good man, and well loved by all those around him.

Though being well loved sometimes causes its own problems. Fei had two best friends, Alice and Timothy, and they were pledged to be married. They both adored Fei, but this may have been a problem for Alice. She often commented that she wondered what would have happened if Fei had lived in the village all his life, and if Timothy had never been in the picture.

But did Fei take this opportunity to covet his best friend’s wife-to-be? No! Fei was a good, decent man, and still did everything he could to support his friends. He visited another mutual friend, Dr. Citan Uzuki, to secure a wedding photographer. Fei’s trip up the mountain to Citan’s home is perilous and wrought with danger, but he does it not to “win” Alice, but to be the good man that helps his friends. Who else was going to fight all those wolves? Dan of the extended forehead? Pashaw!

But things take a turn for the worse when Fei returns from his altruistic errand. “Giants” attack the town of Lahan, and these creatures are revealed to be gargantuan robots piloted by enemy combatants. Fei and Citan both work together to save the town, but Fei makes a terrible mistake when he attempts to pilot one of these robots. While in the cockpit, Fei witnesses the death of Timothy, and then things escalate as Fei enters a fugue state that ultimately leads to more fatalities, including the death of Alice. In the end, the whole town of Lahan can no longer bear to look at Fei, as his robot recklessness is responsible for a steep decline in the local population.

But what Fei does next is what makes him a good man.

It's tense for all of usFei felt -the power- when he gained his enormous Gear. And, when the townsfolk banished him, he could have easily shown them the wrong side of a mechanical machine gun. But, no, Fei immediately forsakes -the power-, and listens to the pleas of the townsfolk. He exiles himself to a nearby forest, and lives the rest of his days without returning to Lahan. He tasted -the power-, but he did not desire it, so Lahan is a better place/flaming crater.

And is Fei rewarded for this act of sacrifice? Well, he immediately thereafter meets his soulmate and fights a real, live dinosaur. So you tell me.

So always remember the parable of Fei Fong Wong. He was a man that had -the power-, found it to be too much, and then forsook it for a better life with a cute redhead.

… Wait. There’s more to this story?

…. Hm. Guess there might be a few more updates…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 1

Original Stream Night: January 5, 2021
Night of Blazing Dragons

This “night” was separated into three separate videos, as I was trying to follow the success of the smaller Let’s Play chapters of World of Final Fantasy. Unfortunately, due to the length of Xenogears, this does not last past Night 3…

Random Notes on the Stream

  • “This will only take three months.” Welcome to our irreverent Let’s Play of Xenogears! And the joke is on you, Prophetic fanboymaster, it winds up taking six months!
  • Please enjoy giant karate robot fights. If you do not appreciate such a thing, this is going to be a long Let’s Play.
  • Dan’s enormous forehead impresses us all.
  • Hey girlChrono Trigger’s Lucca is discovered after wandering around the village. The Zohar save points are not memory cubes. Shapes do not work like that.
  • We explain Chrono Cross as Fei crosses the mountains. Funny that this winds up being posted only after the complete Chrono Cross Let’s Play… fanboymaster is consistently a Korcha and Funguy hater.
  • As we get to Citan’s House, we note that the Final Fantasy 7 Remake is named oddly.
  • Watch as a music box explodes. Is this an omen? No, of course not. Shut-up, Citan.

  • And thus is the pastoral village attacked by… something. Did the directors think people would not recognize giant robots from 40 minutes back?
  • Do not be a JRPG protagonist. Absolutely do not be a JRPG protagonist’s best friend.
  • *Record Scratch* “You’re probably wondering how I got into this giant robot.”
  • Seriously, girl?This is chronologically the first time on the stream that BEAT compliments the opening of Spec Ops: The Line. Please see every other stream for more information.
  • Foreshadowing for how experience points do not work with Gears right there at the start…
  • Xenosaga and Star Ocean Part 2 have boring intros. Xenogears murders an entire town damn quickly.
  • While making it through the forest, fanboymaster attempts to read a FAQ on activating deathblows. Let us never consider it again, and get some cheating going next stream.
  • “Skies of Arcadia was definitely a polycule by the end,” is uttered as Caliscrub swings in.

  • Hey, this was back when BEAT was displaced from his usual home. This has nothing to do with Fei and Elly exploring a forest, but is relevant to remembering how long ago we streamed Xenogears…
  • Remember when Angry Birds was huge? Fei can fight some birds.
  • Fei also fights a dinosaur as Caliscrub recounts how he beat Xenogears over the course of two years and two copies.
  • This is concerning“The giant robot is my friend.”
  • Citan and Elly have a heart to heart while married men discuss dating apps that scrape twitter.
  • Elly runs off into the night as the Xenosaga – Xenogears connection is discussed.
  • Which fighting game includes Jesus? It has nothing to do with chaos and Xenosaga.
  • And we close with a discussion on the ancient archives of that one forum.

Next time on Xenogears: Meet the parents.

OMEGA