I am happy to say that, even at my advanced age, I don’t know everything.
Today’s game is Gradius: The Interstellar Assault. To break kayfabe for a moment, it should be acknowledged that Random ROB did not choose today’s adventure. You see, Gradius: The Interstellar Assault recently dropped on the Nintendo Switch Online Gameboy service. And, while Gradius Origins has been announced for a release in August, that anticipated collection does not contain this Gameboy title. So I figured, ya know, why not? I have a few minutes to kill, and a Gradius with rewind capability goes down smooth. It can’t be that bad, right?
And imagine my genuine surprise when I found that not only was Gradius: The Interstellar Assault not “that bad”, it was amazingly good!
Let’s pretend this is a legitimate review for a moment. First thing first: Gradius: The Interstellar Assault is a short game. There are approximately six levels (differentiating a few is difficult), and, if you can cruise through bullets with ease, you can wrap this one up inside half an hour. However, it is still a Gradius game, so you are expected to spend additional time on learning patterns, accumulating a high score, and just plain surviving. Yes, you can clear this quickly thanks to modern wonders like save states, but the original experience of Gradius: The Interstellar Assault would have seen you repeating the first level about sixty times. And that brings us to our next item: the first level is marvelous! The worst part of many a videogame is that if you are stuck repeating an area due to a failure state, and that section is miserable, you are going to be despondent for a while. And this often happens with the best of intentions: the “start” of a level or boss should be easy, as you are still discovering the ins and outs of the particular obstacles you will face through this new encounter. Unfortunately, repeating “the easy part” is just about as much fun as repeating kindergarten (but without the naps), so the suffering increases with every retry. Here, we have a first level that starts with a thrilling chase, segues into a narrow escape, and then transitions into the longest and most interesting planet in the whole game. Does it suck to have to repeat this level on every recurrence? Technically yes. But if you are going to be stuck on one track on the record, it may as well be the awesome single. The designers of G:TIA know what part of the game you are going to see the most, so they made it the absolute best.
As for the rest of the game, it is a fun Gradius experience. There are some fascinating set pieces (one stage takes place inside a traditional Gradius boss), a few exciting “gotcha” moments with rapidly appearing enemies, and a final dogfight with the big brain. Your powerups are the standard Gradius loadout, and you get a choice of options (not those options) for some slight customization. Maintaining your upgrades for the challenges you will face is the usual source of tension, and the only thing lacking is that you are allowed a meager two option nodes (those are the real options) instead of the customary four. But it’s a Gameboy game, right? You knew there had to be compromises.
And that’s the thing of Gradius: The Interstellar Assault: I lived through the Gameboy era of gaming, and I expected this to be so much worse. Don’t get me wrong, there were certainly good Gameboy games available. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening was a revelation, and Final Fantasy Adventure is a game I enjoy to this very day. But this was also the system that struggled to reproduce Pac-Man, and was responsible for 33% of the worst of the Kid Icarus franchise. For every Metroid II on the system, there were 17 different versions of that Bill & Ted game. And, while Biker Mice From Mars’ Crazy Castle was never particularly terrible, those titles were definitely of their time. The Gameboy was ideal for short spurts in car rides, and not the epic experiences you could find on a console. Gradius: The Interstellar Assault was released in Japan in 1991. That was the same year Sonic the Hedgehog blast processed into our living rooms. At the time, it was unimaginable that such an excellent erinaceinae experience could ever be portable.
But here is a Gameboy game that… Dare I say it? Gradius: The Interstellar Assault is better than its console forebearers (give or take the presence of moai). Or, at the very least, it is more cinematic and dramatic than Gradius or Gradius III. And that should be impossible! The “Gameboy version” of any given console/arcade release is supposed to be lesser. It is supposed to be gameplay boiled down to its recognizable components, and nothing more. You are not supposed to get a thrilling chase through an asteroid belt! You are supposed to get something negotiated down to the smaller screen. It’s supposed to be something you can ignore 30 years later! Not something to enjoy on the same system that holds approximately seventeen separate Hyrules!
And here is the secret lesson of today: I could have lied about my surprise. I lived through the Gameboy era, and I have written articles about a number of games on this site that have been informed by my memories of being there at release. I could have claimed this was a “forgotten gem” that I always knew was out there. I could have written a whole article about not judging a book by its cover in the early 90’s, and being amazed by the little Gameboy game that could. I could have perjured my credibility for the sake of clout. But no, dear reader, I am being honest with you! And do you know why? Because Gradius: The Interstellar Assault is just that good!
I am an elder of gaming that has been there for everything from Guile tossing his first sonic boom to him dancing in Fortnite, and there are still games out there that I have not played. There are games that I have ignored, and some are really good! And sometimes, one of these games pops up on a free(ish) service that is immediately available with all the effort of opening a bag of potato chips. It may have been short. It may have been “primitive”. But I had a galaxy of fun with Gradius: The Interstellar Assault here in the year of our Big Core 2025.
Stick around, ladies and gentlemen. You never know when you might be surprised by the world.
… Or at least 20th Century Konami.
FGC #704 Gradius: The Interstellar Assault
- System: This was a big part of the article, but just in case you always skip to the end first, it is a Gameboy game that has now appeared on Nintendo Switch (1 & 2!).
- Number of Players: One Vic Viper with no buddies.
- That’s a Foul: The official first level is long (by Gradius standards), and then you get captured at the start of the second level… and lose all of your powerups! That shouldn’t be allowed to happen! I worked hard for those powerups!
Always nice to see: There is an actual “descending through the atmosphere” sequence to signify entering the planet’s surface for Level 4. This is appreciated, as I am used to Gradius games where planets just kind of appear out of space.- An end: The game starts with Vic Viper being chased through space by a Big Core, and the adventure concludes with VV tailing the Guardian Core (BIG BRAIN!) to a final shootout. Fearful symmetry!
- Did you know? Segments of the first stage look like a Castlevania stage. Considering the Castlevania Adventues were absolute garbage, and the Gradius and Castlevania canons would eventually converge in Otomedus Excellent, let’s just go ahead and say this is a Gameboy Castlevania game.
- Would I play again: It’s right there on the newest system in town! I can play this again anytime I want! Yay!
What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Metal Storm & Hannah’s Day! I don’t know if you understand the gravity of the situation, but this is going to be a doubleheader! Please look forward to it!