This post contains spoilers for the whole of World of Final Fantasy. You have been warned!

A long time ago in a dimension far, far away, there was a woman named Roksanne. Roksanne had a cute little pet fox buddy, and, apparently, put on a red light for a living castle. Noted summon Alexander merged with Roksanne, and she became Enna Kros.

“Bow before me and bring some snacks, mortals”

Shortly thereafter, Enna Kros discovered The Girl Who Forgot Her Name, and, rather than be a good friend and give her a goddamn name, she decided to exploit the amnesiac’s powers to create whole worlds.

You could name all sorts of people in the old Final Fantasy games

Thus, any dimension created by Enna Kross aka Alexander became known as an A-World.

So, while Enna Kros is the god of World of Final Fantasy, there are worlds that are not created by Enna Kros out there. Cogna gotta come from somewhere, and you do not want to hear about what happens in YT-Worlds.

Typical YT World nonsense

Thus, Enna Kros created the “Champion System” whereby when one of her worlds is threatened, “Champions” will manifest in the population, and these champions will copy the traits and personalities of heroes from other worlds.

A dashing champion

So there’s your excuse for why Cloud, Squall, and that cat lady from the spin-off franchise are all running around, and they’re kinda like their original versions, but, ya know, different enough to be interesting. Or not interesting. Whatever works, we’ve gotta let the “real” heroes shine somehow.

Speaking of heroes, one A-World is Grymoire.

A Final Fantasy Legend begins

At the start of this tale, Grymoire is a world that is populated by Jiants, who are “normal” humans (by our reckoning), and Lilikins, little funko looking dudes that were originally a race of summoned helpers. Think that weird dude with the nose from Fairy Tale.

Lilkin left, Jiant right

Anyway, the Lilikins formed their own little generally feudal society, and the Jiants mostly hung out in the Nonary Region, working at the Business Factory or whatever it is adults do.

Nonary Town in good times

Two Jiants were Lusse and Rorrik.

Mom and Dad, before

Lusse was a summoner queen, and Rorrik worked at the box factory making magical boxes. They boned, and birthed the twins, Lann and Reynn.

The heroes!

Like their parents, Reynn was an excellent monster keeper, and Lann was good at thinking inside the box. But there was an issue! Reynn and Lann thought their mother was too overworked, so they set out to ease her burden.

Spoilers: this gets her killed. Never try, children!

Nonetheless, there are creatures known as mirages in Grymoire, and Mirage Keepers have the ability to capture and use these mirages like Pokémon.

Mirages are significantly more physical in this world

Lann and Reynn jumped to the conclusion that if they caught enough Pikachus, their mother would have an easier time. Maybe tonberries are supposed to be little butlers? Whatever. Lann and Reynn caught as many mirages as possible, and eventually accumulated the most powerful mirages on the planet.

Three out of seven

Ifrit, Shiva, Ramuh, Leviathan, Odin, Bahamut and Diablos for some reason were all at the command of the twins. Actually, strike that, we don’t have details on exactly what happened, but, a hundred years later, the whole gang is feared as the legendary Demon Dyad, so it’s assumed Lann and Reynn messed that one up but good.

So, plan B, Lann and Reynn learned from their adopted sister, Hauyn, that there was an Ultima Gate, and they could use it to summon a god.

Having an adopted sister is a Win

Figuring they had done so well with controlling gods in the past, they opened the Ultima Gate.

It’s more of a Ultima Hole

Hauyn objected, but Lann sealed her in a box, because boxes solve problems. And, naturally, when the Ultima Gate was opened, it didn’t bring forth a benevolent god, but Brandelis, an evil version of Bahamut that had already destroyed a few worlds here and there.

Off-Brand Bahamut

Brandelis immediately captured the parents of Lann and Reynn, and saw them possessed by a pair of forgettable Final Fantasy 6 Espers.

Mom and Dad, after

Then ol’ Branny apparently started siphoning power from Winn and the rest of the family, and set about killing every other Jiant he could find.

Nonary Town, after the twins and their bright idea

Somewhere in there, the bad guys started stealing the mirages that Lann and Reynn had accumulated, and there was much concern over actual demons gaining control of the “Demon Dyad”, so the twins managed to eek out one tiny victory. They used four magical keys to seal Brandelis with the Ultima Gate, and trapped four members of the Demon Dyad to sleep with those four keys across the world.

Always a good sign when they glow on their own

Only the twins could unlock this sealing, and they certainly wouldn’t ever do that. You know, unless they got amnesia or something.

…. Oh godammit.

So, their mostly dead parents dropped the kids off in Nine Wood Hills, a pocket dimension that was like their home universe, except there aren’t any other people, and the twins were damned to be baristas working a really slow shift for 100 years. As a result of this reality switch, Lann and Reynn were forced to forget their lives before the coffee shop, which sounds rough, but is standard procedure in the Starbucks employee manual.

A warm cup of amnesia

In the meanwhile, while Brandelis was sealed, his toadies continued to more subtly wreak havoc over Grymoire, primarily by starting an evil empire and an equally evil religion.

They’re big fans

The whole point of that nonsense was apparently twofold: steal men’s souls and make them their slaves, and also set up this whole ridiculous prophecy that would goad the twins into unlocking the gates if they ever return with a very specific kind of amnesia that lets them continue to be valiant protagonists, but with no recall that they set up the keys themselves. Of course, oddly enough, this exact thing happens.

So this brings us to where the game actually starts! Wee!

Okay, let’s begin

After 100 years a slave to coffee, Lann and Reynn are “reawakened” by Enna Kross, who grants them some starter mirages, and sends them off to the “real” world of Grymoire. They are told their memories will return if they capture their old mirages. The duo instantly forgets this order, and winds up focusing on the evil empire’s Bahamutian Army and a prophecy floating around regarding magical keys. So they fell for the bad guy’s plan, like, ten seconds in. Good job, idiots. Thus, the sealed summons escape their confines, and, after getting all those keys, the twins ascend to their ruined former home, and inadvertently free Brandelis. They also free the boxed Wynn, but, bad news, Brandelis had another evil scheme brewing, and that was capturing all the summoners in the world to use the twins’ powers to use the Ultima Gate again, and this time drag the Cogna, evil robots lead by Xenogears, into the world.

At least one Cogna hails from Final Fantasy 6

The machines invade, the world is in mortal peril, and it’s all thanks to our “heroes”. Twice!

So, eventually, the twins beat back the robot invasion, and fight their way to a final confrontation with Brandelis. Unfortunately, it goes even more poorly than usual for these losers, as Wynn and their possessed parents all die during the final battle.

They find no way to ultimately defeat Brandelis, as he’s sucked up so much funko energy, he’s become invincible. This leads to Lann permanently sealing Brandelis in a box at the cost of his own, unboxed life. Reynn is beside herself with grief at this outcome, and effectively pleads with god (or her proxy) to get a do-over. She gets her wish, but at the cost of the life of her mascot creature who wasn’t even relevant enough to mention until now. How the player interprets this “sacrifice” may be determined by how much one enjoys the ticks of the verbal.

Regardless, the bad end never happened, Wynn and the (possessed) parents are alive again, but Brandelis still needs sorting. Reynn hatches the clever plan to literally listen to god and finally get around to reclaiming her old mirages.

Bringing back the big boy

The twins gather up the Demon Dyad again, borrow a 1-UP mushroom to revive their Naruto, and then decide to tackle Brandelis with the help of the rest of the champions of the world.

Believe it!

This leads to a good ending where Wynn survives, the parents die because they were always dead (though, in this case, they’re friendly ghosts), and Brandelis winds up sealed in the rare double box (with some clipping).

(lways remember: proper box maintenance saves lives

But things never go well for these idiots, and Brandelis breaks free as the robots are being sucked back into the gate to the Xenoblade universe. The twins halt Brandy’s advance with karate, but Lann, Reynn and Brandelis alike are sucked into the gate.

Box it!

In the end, the World of Final Fantasy, Grymoire, is left with a host of Final Fantasy champions, some vaguely tamed demonic mirages, and exactly one jiant, Wynn, that is probably going to have a hard time finding any matches on Tinder.

And what happened to our heroes? Who the hell knows. Their mobile game didn’t do great, so I’m not holding my breath.

That’s all, folks! Thanks for reading/watching!

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