Tag Archives: queen

Xenogears 14: Time is Running Out

My robot!Phew… Okay… So I have been informed that things are going a bit long, and we only have time for a total of five more sermons (including this one). That is going to truncate things a bit, as all the important things happen in Fei’s journey from about this point on… And… dang… Did I really waste two entire lectures on Fei doing nothing in prison? Woof. I am sorry. In the future, I hope I can pace these things a bit better.

Let’s see here… what to focus on… what to focus on…

We covered Solaris exploding last time? Oh, good, so we don’t have to…

Oh! Id! Yes. Id was secretly Fei all along. That is interesting, right? And, while Fei does not immediately grapple with his “inner” Id, he does gain a limited kind of control over his Weltall’s ability to enter Id mode. Given he successfully destroyed a centuries-old fortress the last time he let Id loose, this is something of a game changer for the man that is gathering more and more of -the power-.

And speaking of which, Ramsus was able to defeat Fei in one battle shortly after the fall of Solaris. We will talk more about Ramsus later… uh… if we have time… But his Omnigear leads to one of his few clear victories, and that is important to a man that has previously spent his entire life losing. … But we will not dwell on the fact that he was a significant loser about ten seconds after Fei got that Id upgrade…

HUGS!Oh! And Elly! Her parents are killed before Solaris is detonated (which, let’s be honest here, they would not have survived that explosion, so this was a delayed death at best), but then she successfully talks Fei/Id down from the rampage that destroyed her home. And then when Fei is caged for the crime of committing a genocide shortly thereafter, it is Elly that aids Fei in a daring escape. Thereafter, they reconnect emotionally before separating so Elly can join her step/real/magical daughter in a raid on the Mass-Driver Facility. And that was likely a pretty amazing adventure all on its own, but we don’t really have any information on that, because the population of the world is transformed into zombies shortly thereafter.

Oh, but before that, there was a Fort Hurricane, and a town that turned into a giant, transforming Gear, and that Gear used a flying ship as a cannon, and… Crap. Did we not even mention Grahf and the Executioner at this point?

Gah! We’re out of time!

Look, we will pick it back up with the Anima relic next time. Uh… For now… Um… The moral is that knowing how much time you have left is really important.

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 14

Original Stream Night: May 11, 2021
Night of the Jumping Flash

Random Stream Notes

  • Do you like horny bunnies 2? How about robots? Welcome back to Xenogears. Caliscrub and Kishi are here with the usual crew.
  • “Is Billy Bart? Are they different?”
  • BEAT actually cares about Hammer! It impacts our reactions to his betrayal.
  • Hey, remember Executioner? Remember!?
  • “Why is there an FMV here?” Welcome to Weltall turning red and solving some mysteries.
  • BEAT is bound and determined to never address Xenogears, even as the most interesting parts of the game happen.
  • Good little dudeMags thinks we are old enough to be nostalgic for “He-Man and Betty Boop.” Let this be our epitaph.
  • We will live the rest of our lives hearing nerds talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion, and there is nothing we can do about it.
  • “Citan is there to make sure nobody starts a food fight in the cafeteria.”
  • Let’s talk about Legends of Tomorrow being good while Krelian talks to the TV sphere.
  • INSERT DISC 2! We’re here!
  • BEAT demands more games based on Queen songs. Ogre Battle is right over there…
  • Do rejuvenation tubes exist in real life? I keep asking this.
  • Aw, we all talk about our COVID vaccine experiences. Memories…
  • Please do not notice Weltall 2’s lack of a pelvis.
    We need more joints
  • While Fei is fighting Vengeance again, Caliscrub is losing at Street Fighter.
  • “Enjoy these JPEGS, because that’s it.”
  • As the plot really kicks into high gear (after a gear skirmish), we attribute this breakneck pacing to a really intricate plot… that doesn’t work. “They’re super over scope” is the best explanation.
  • For our giant zombie fight, Kishi once again makes great battle recommendations after the fight has already started…
  • “By the way we’re just in a dungeon now.”
  • Really good plots can sound terrible if you’re just reading a wiki of it… And that is basically what we have here. Welcome to the remaining Wiki of Xenogears.

Next time on Xenogears: We’re all gonna get laid!

Take that
This could have been an entire game!

Xenogears 02: Fei in the Desert

VroomAnd so we again look to the story of Fei Fong Wong.

Fei had tasted -the power- of the enormous Weltall, but forsaken it, as that same power that could have saved his village destroyed it and the people he loved. Without a home or the support of his tribe, Fei visited the nearby Dazil. There, he tried to secure transportation with his last remaining friend, Citan. But when Citan entered the desert alone, Fei chased after him. Fei thought his friend was in danger! And he was! The poor, human Citan was being menaced by enormous Gears not unlike those that had ruined Fei’s life. Fei had but one choice: again pilot the Weltall, and rescue his most loyal companion.

But then the devil came down to Dazil.

The devil came to Fei and said, “If you are the Slayer of God, then why did you slay your friends?”

Fei answered, “It is written: ‘ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Here lies a fiancée no one should trust.’”

Then the devil took step atop his Gear and said, “Slayer of God,” he said, “I brought those Gears to your village. How did you fail so thoroughly?”

Fei answered him, “If you hadn’t come, the village would not have suffered the way it did. You cannot be the person who judges me for an act you instigated.”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the deserts of the world and their sandiness. ”Imagine -the power- I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Fei said to him, “Away from me, Grahf! For it is written: ‘Honor thy Dad, I mean thy Father.’”

Look out!And then the devil got huffy, and left Fei a giant sandworm to fight. And then Fei got captured, regained his giant robot, and had to fight through a stupid dungeon for like three hours. But Balthasar confirmed evolution was a real thing during that little adventure, so we’re not going to talk about that…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 2

Original Stream Night: January 12, 2021
Night of The Monster Rancher

Random Notes on the Stream

  • Welcome to our second town! There’s a lot of sand. We’re going to start with a discussion of some dumb anime, like Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a starter town? … That is the whole title of a show…
  • We would like to publicly state that Even Worse Streams does not in any way condone slavery.
  • Caliscrub enters as Citan talks to Fei about stuff he absolutely shouldn’t know.
  • Hey, did you know The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a great game? It totally is, and better at triggering flags than Xenogears.
  • LET ME READ YOUR FINGERSFei wanders the desert as we try to figure out if Dude, Where’s My Car is a real movie that happened.
  • We are all impressed by Fei getting a free motorcycle like KOS-MOS. A franchise staple!
  • Is it weird that I am nostalgic for references to BEAT’s old, banned Twitter account?
  • Xenogears once again is compared to Chrono Cross and the infamous “you are the Chrono Trigger speech”.
  • And the first video ends as we are kidnapped by soldiers/discuss eyeballs.

  • Hey, if you didn’t catch it yet, Xenogears is Star Wars. We got captured by Tusken Raiders.
  • BEAT appreciates zooming in on people-pixels. The rest of us are not impressed.
  • Bart the Sand Pirate is assumed horny until proven otherwise. This will never be proven otherwise.
  • I cannot believe Caliscrub keeps watching Tusk instead of Xenogears as Fei… dies. Sorry! Didn’t walk fast enough! Quick restart!
  • Bart arrives! And his mech only has one eye!
  • This is getting annoyingBEAT read ahead! He knows about Chu Chu already!
  • Our first Gear dungeon! Oh boy jumping around a cave! Because you can (not) fly.
  • Confirmed: BEAT has beaten Chrono Trigger, but has not collected any cats.
  • We like talking about Geno and Bowser the Furry.
  • As Segment 2 ends, Fanboymaster goads me into explaining how the Gears’ tech points work. I would like to do that… if I knew what the hell they did.

  • “Just let me commit a war crime” – BEAT
  • Balthasar appears! He is one of those guys that makes robots good.
  • The Japanese names of the three sages of Chrono Trigger are Hash, Basch, and Gasch. Their American names start popping up around here in Xenogears…
  • And then there’s a discussion on the Biblical Elijah. We can talk about something other than Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
  • Oh, hey, this dungeon goes on forever while we are reminded this whole streaming thing was once called Dog Street Streams.
  • Penguin Drum and Revolutionary Girl Utena are discussed as Old Man Bal talks about the inevitable Omnigear.
  • Another vrooomWe’re leaving the cave! By going down! It makes perfect sense!
  • Opposite the boss battle with a foreshadowing Gear the Queen biopic is discussed. That movie also had a lot of cats.
  • Pretty much everyone disappears as we explore the Yggdrasil and discuss the future of Xenogears… Wait! BEAT comes back! Then it’s over!

Next time on Xenogears: Let’s Fight!

Chrono Cross 07: Dragons

Chrono Cross loves imagining dragons! Look at this chonky boy (well, girl)…

She gets her own isle

The most helpful of the dragons, the Water Dragon, is all smiles and rainbows when you need to chill a volcano, but literally shows her teeth when it is time for a throwdown. And the way she “swims” through the air later? Awesome.

Only a volcano?

And speaking of volcanos, this little guy hulks out to join Master Roshi and Tung Fu Rue in the pantheon of dudes that can turn into muscle maniacs on command. This Fire Dragon is never gracious, but remains polite, when he challenges you to a battle.

Such big teeth you have

Meanwhile, this monster rules the quasi-prehistoric “Savage Land” of Chrono Cross, and is not shy about making it clear you are about to be devoured. And why shouldn’t he? Dang thing is built to deal with tyrannosauruses on the reg.

DO NOT PET

Yet the dragon living deep in the Earth is almost… roly poly? This looks like a creature that has never seen the sun (kind of literally, as it is hard to see if she even has eyes), but has spent a good amount of time getting fat on sand monsters. Sister is the size of a building!

Very unfriendly

But there is nothing friend-shaped about the Black Dragon, which dreams nightmares that cross dimensions. Chrono Cross never really does commit to whether or not “black element” is supposed to be “evil” or somehow “gravity”, but the Black Dragon cuts enough of an imposing figure that he cannot be seen as anything other than dangerous.

They did save us once

And conversely, the white Sky Dragon is appropriately divine. In a genre that frequently presents dragons as the exact same creature seven times with slightly different colors or styles even today (looking at you, Elden Ring), Chrono Cross really went the extra mile by making every dragon significantly different.

Sory, Harle

Even if they did have to involve a murder clown.

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 7

Original Stream Night: May 31, 2022

Recruited this week:

  • Do Masa & Mune count?
  • Leah

Stream Notes:

  • Time to get the Mastermune! Which involves solving dumb puzzles at Viper Manor! A discussion of Final Fantasy 8 and Chrono Cross summons ensue.
  • There is a brief intermission while fighting Solt and Peppor as I run off to do… something. I literally do not remember what happened…
  • Caliscrub arrives as we try to find BEAT and defeat the possessed Dario.
  • And then Ample Vigour shows up. Dario is still standing. I have not accomplished anything yet.
  • In post-stream response to AV’s comments on the subject, my wife has confirmed that the Smurfs and Donald Duck were generally equally popular in Europe around her childhood. I am inclined to believe her.
  • CroakBEAT arrives just as we finish an important conversation about the legend of the few people that can draw duck bills. We still haven’t finished Dario. And now for more about Disco Elysium.
  • When we finally start fighting the Water Dragon, our first Dragon, we talk about crappy Killer Instinct and Mortal Kombat characters. Eat it, Dario.
  • By the time we are fighting the Fire Dragon, the stream is now just about discussing arcade games from the late 90’s
  • As we attempt to get the rock opera going, I defend Battle Arena Toshinden.
  • “Is someone thither?”
  • The concert to end racism leads to the dumbest part of the game: fighting the same lizard creatures over and over again. At least we get some summons going…
  • By the time we are fighting the Earth Dragon, we are discussing the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 film. Jim Carrey is a marvel of CGI technology.
  • We wind up hunting the Green Dragon with Leah, who may or may not be Ayla’s mother? Or daughter? It sucks. Like Sneff.
  • And this stream was a slog. I apologize if you watched it. Moving on!

Next time on Chrono Cross: Robot on Robo violence.

Please don't do that
This is just mean

Chrono Cross 03: The Planet

Get 'em!You can’t say Chrono Cross doesn’t have its heart in the right place.

Sometimes things get complicated. Not to spoil a twenty-year-old game for anybody, but the main plot of Chrono Cross is a tale of time travel, an intergalactic parasite, and two warring realities that are either inadvertently or deliberately feeding that previously mentioned parasite until it can destroy not only the world, but all of space and time. If Serge fails in his duty as the silent protagonist, not only will 1999 AD face destruction, but also everything that has ever existed backwards and forwards in eternity. But no pressure, dude, not like you also have to deal with the fact that your dad is a mutant cat that wants you for your body, or that the most reliable friend you have is continually being poisoned and/or brainwashed. Not like you have a lot going on in the midst of this cross-dimensional crisis!

But there is a consistent throughline in Chrono Cross: the environment is getting wrecked by humans. The first thing you have to do in this game? Murder some local lizards so your girlfriend can have a nice necklace. The last thing you do in the game? Repel a gigantic flying tower that is somehow powered by an alternate universe where dinosaurs lived in perfect harmony with nature, and it is only here because the planet felt so threatened by humanity, it needed a “super dinosaur” to battle a nation founded by a super computer. … Okay, yeah, things get complicated quickly here, but the message is the same: humanity is a threat to the planet. Over and over again, Serge is presented with a world where people are surviving and living their best lives, but the world is suffering for it. You will kill the local lizards (and their mama!). You will destroy the Dragon Tower and its attendant super dinosaur. You will save the world. But the world might not be 100% on board with these outcomes.

Steal awayAnd this is all perfectly encapsulated at the Hydra Marsh. Kid is poisoned, and the only way to cure her affliction is by killing the last remaining hydra. You can see the difference in Hydra Marshes thanks to dimensional travel (and there’s even a friendly dwarf near Kid’s hospital if you need it spelled out immediately). In the world with the hydra, the swamp is a vibrant location home to many kinds of creatures (albeit most of them are actively trying to kill you). In the world where the hydra has already been hunted to extinction, only true monsters remain, and the swamp has become lethally poisonous. You know what is going to happen if you hunt the hydra on Kid’s behalf. Your world will become worse, and a great many other species are going to die. And, to be more than clear on this sad fact, Chrono Cross does not make this a simple “background” possibility: when you inevitably kill the hydra, the dwarves of Home Swamp will be displaced, and you will then be tugged into a war between homeless gnomes and besieged fairies. With the hydra dead, the viable world is shrinking, and more problems arise immediately. Kid may be saved by hydra humour, but an entire society is going to collapse without it. As the planet cries out in pain, more and more people suffer in ways they never, ever expected…

And, as I played this section a couple weeks before I was in France during a heatwave that escalated over the Summer of 2022 to watching Europe practically melt off the face of the Earth… Well… I can’t fault for Chrono Cross for having at least one clear message.

Maybe we should do something about this whole “humans threatening the world” thing…

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 3

Original Stream Night: April 26, 2022

Recruited this week:

  • Korcha
  • Greco
  • Razzly

Random Notes on the Stream

  • We all hate Korcha.
  • “There are ranks of -cha”… but Mel does not rank.
  • First dimension hop! Get used to seeing this FMV!
  • It's nice hereFinal Fantasy 13 borrowed some ideas from Lost… Bad ideas. Like fake funerals.
  • Beeba are racist. Just realized that tonight.
  • So many bosses in this stupid swamp. Basically wall-to-wall boss fights of no plot importance.
  • A discussion about Ogre Battle naturally segues into a discussion on how great Queen is
  • There is a discussion of Keenspot and Keenspace and the sheer level of insanity contained therein.
  • We have a boat! Yay! But waves are “moving like a fat guy’s back”.
  • A pirate ship of deadbeat dads is where we close for the day.

Next time on Chrono Cross: Skeletons of all sorts of varieties.

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