Tag Archives: chrono cross

Xenogears 04: Two Strong Women

We have previously focused exclusively on Fei Fong Wong, but today, let us consider two very different women spoken of in the Xenogears scripture.

Marguerite “Margie” Fatima would one day be the Holy Mother of Nisan. But long before that, she was a mere child. And when she was a child, Shakhan and the Gebler forces led a coup of the Aveh government in pursuit of the great treasure of the Fatima family. They did not find what they were seeking, but they did cut a bloody swath through the royal family in pursuit of this goal. The king committed suicide. The previously Holy Mother committed suicide. Margie’s father died thanks to extreme torture. And, despite being children, Prince Bartholomew and Marguerite were both tortured as well. Margie and Bart eventually escaped, and they both ascended to leadership positions at extremely young ages. Holy Mother Marguerite took her title at the age of ten.

But did Margie give up after her horrible childhood? No! She steeled her own resolve, and took solace in her cousin who had protected her during their imprisonment. She missed her parents, and had reservations about potentially marrying into royalty, but she still fought hard, and was an exemplary Holy Mother. Her tours of the cathedral were legendary! And her unwavering belief that we all needed to work together, because we were “single winged angels”, is an important lesson we should all adopt even today (even if it has no actual basis in the principles of flight).

Margeurite may have been tortured and kidnapped repeatedly (at least once because she was weighed down by a pink, sentient doll), but she was still a strong, dedicated woman. During times of political strife, she was still the people’s choice for religious leader.

Elhaym “Elly” Van Houten could have been the Holy Mother of Nisan in another life. But, in this time, she was born in Solaris, the floating city that would be responsible for the misfortune of Marguerite. While Elly was raised in the lap of luxury, she was ostracized, as her red hair made many believe she was the result of an affair with a lower class “lamb”. But Elly persevered, and eventually joined the Jugend Military Academy. As part of a fairly routine procedure, Elly was given an experimental drug, Drive. Then things got… unpleasant.

Look at her goElly took poorly to Drive, flipped out, killed two other students, injured three more, and literally painted the walls red with blood.

And then she spent years in a rolling state of denial, before deciding to use Drive again. And then the only reason she survived that is some dork that once saved her from a dinosaur beat the crap out of her and demanded she not “let go of [her] true self.” She survived the encounter with her position intact, but it seemed obvious that it was only a matter of time before she would be washed out of the Solarian forces.

So which woman do you think should be leading the people of the world? The one that was tortured for her entire childhood but rose to become a pillar of her community, or the pampered brat that always finds times to go on murderous trips? The choice of better role model is obvious.

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 4

Original Stream Night: January 26, 2021
Night of the Beast Wars

Random Stream Notes

  • Kishi joins us for a bit at the start of this stream to discuss the disastrous Wizards and Warriors 3 stream.
  • The consequences of cheating are obvious as everyone is available on the equip screen. Remember this later when I have to reboot…
  • I also talk about my original, stupid plan for this Let’s Play. It’s… an original mashup.
  • Chu-Chu is Chu-Chu.
  • Welcome to Nissan! Let’s talk about the Popemobile, and, eventually, nuns that %&*@.
  • There is discussion about the different “episodes” of Xenogears and how they could have all been different genres. The world was never prepared for Xenogears Episode 3: Snatcher.
  • I firmly believe this is a world where they invented the Gear but not the vacuum.
  • Fun fact: we all forgot Maria existed despite being in Xenosaga.
  • Talking about Versus Guides versus Brady Guides and how they would sometimes be horny for cowgirls in Ocarina of Time.
  • An hour in, and all we’re doing is talking about Ramsus, Elements, and (select portions of) Citan’s past.
  • NOHaving a table is the lynchpin of Bart’s complicated plan to recapture his home.
  • I am familiar with the tale of Zog and Rapheal, which leads to more discussion of Ninja Turtles.
  • And the game freezes when trying to load my poor, cheated save file. And, yes, you can find the “origin” save file I used on Gamefaqs.
  • BEAT momentarily attempts to figure out how chu-language works. This way lies madness.
  • Xenogears has all sorts of weird nudity for -the power-.
  • Finally! A dungeon! With fights! 1:36 in!
  • And we wind up with a complete history of how the Dreamcast and GD-ROMs work
  • Equipping the Gear leads to another soft reset… But we’re making progress!
  • As Fei fights Elly, we successfully predict the Sega CD Mini/Sega Genesis Mini 2! Kinda! We got some of the games right…
  • Everything needs more Make My Video.
  • Plots where parallel adventures progress are common. And remember Final Fantasy 6? That was better at it.
  • This is surprisingly stressfulBart is supposed to be rescued from death in a scene that is extremely “funny”.
  • Vanderkaum! That guy from Xenosaga! Kinda! Fanboymaster forgot about him…
  • And then a discussion of the Pheonix Wright games/Phoenix Wright Hair.
  • “Goku is absolutely stupid as shit.”
  • Vanderkaum gains -the power- as the solitary genders of the DBZ universe are discussed before getting to Clarence Beeftank and, eventually, Butterbean.
  • Caliscrub shows up towards the end as Id tears Ramsus a new one.
  • Oh, hey, this was when that whole Gamestop stock thing happened. Good times.
  • And we close opposite a hundred cutscenes about the state of the world while we discuss the evils of TurboTax.

Next time on Xenogears: Welcome to prison!

Handy attack right there

Wild Arms 3 Part 25: Get a Job

Sorry, Maya will not be appearing today, October 17, Mustache Day. Growing out mustaches is a common way for baby-faced boys to appear mature. For girls, the only mustaches they get are milk mustaches.

Previously on Wild Arms 3: Nobody got any gems while Maya read a book. Ho-hum.


And now we are back at Humphrey’s Peak. As an additional recap: we started a few quests here after being wiped out by Asgard and the Prophets, and all we really have to show for it is one more medium/dead Guardian.


But speaking of those prophets, returning to HP after clearing Fortune Gear and Gemstone Cave will lead to this little check-in.


The last time we had one of these cutaways, we saw Malik and his desire to revive a strange blonde lady. Now we get more insight into Melody’s motivations.


As we already learned way back at Unclean Mark, Melody is homicidally obsessed with beauty.


And she doesn’t so much get along with her coworkers.


I used to love the word “vainglorious”… But then I read a breakdown of the webcomic Sinfest. Now it is ruined for me…


Wild Arms 3 has a lot of great, subtle animations for its various dramatic moments. This is not one of them…

Xenogears 01: The Story of Fei

Let's Xeno some GearsLet us consider the parable of Fei Fong Wong

Fei had a good life. He was the talk of the town, a prodigious painter, and a friend to children and animals alike. Fei was not a violent man, but he taught others martial arts with enough skill that it was clear he had studied it prodigiously in the past. And what was Fei’s past? Nobody knew! Fei was a complete tabula rasa when he arrived at the village of Lahan. But even without memories of a former life, Fei was a good man, and well loved by all those around him.

Though being well loved sometimes causes its own problems. Fei had two best friends, Alice and Timothy, and they were pledged to be married. They both adored Fei, but this may have been a problem for Alice. She often commented that she wondered what would have happened if Fei had lived in the village all his life, and if Timothy had never been in the picture.

But did Fei take this opportunity to covet his best friend’s wife-to-be? No! Fei was a good, decent man, and still did everything he could to support his friends. He visited another mutual friend, Dr. Citan Uzuki, to secure a wedding photographer. Fei’s trip up the mountain to Citan’s home is perilous and wrought with danger, but he does it not to “win” Alice, but to be the good man that helps his friends. Who else was going to fight all those wolves? Dan of the extended forehead? Pashaw!

But things take a turn for the worse when Fei returns from his altruistic errand. “Giants” attack the town of Lahan, and these creatures are revealed to be gargantuan robots piloted by enemy combatants. Fei and Citan both work together to save the town, but Fei makes a terrible mistake when he attempts to pilot one of these robots. While in the cockpit, Fei witnesses the death of Timothy, and then things escalate as Fei enters a fugue state that ultimately leads to more fatalities, including the death of Alice. In the end, the whole town of Lahan can no longer bear to look at Fei, as his robot recklessness is responsible for a steep decline in the local population.

But what Fei does next is what makes him a good man.

It's tense for all of usFei felt -the power- when he gained his enormous Gear. And, when the townsfolk banished him, he could have easily shown them the wrong side of a mechanical machine gun. But, no, Fei immediately forsakes -the power-, and listens to the pleas of the townsfolk. He exiles himself to a nearby forest, and lives the rest of his days without returning to Lahan. He tasted -the power-, but he did not desire it, so Lahan is a better place/flaming crater.

And is Fei rewarded for this act of sacrifice? Well, he immediately thereafter meets his soulmate and fights a real, live dinosaur. So you tell me.

So always remember the parable of Fei Fong Wong. He was a man that had -the power-, found it to be too much, and then forsook it for a better life with a cute redhead.

… Wait. There’s more to this story?

…. Hm. Guess there might be a few more updates…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 1

Original Stream Night: January 5, 2021
Night of Blazing Dragons

This “night” was separated into three separate videos, as I was trying to follow the success of the smaller Let’s Play chapters of World of Final Fantasy. Unfortunately, due to the length of Xenogears, this does not last past Night 3…

Random Notes on the Stream

  • “This will only take three months.” Welcome to our irreverent Let’s Play of Xenogears! And the joke is on you, Prophetic fanboymaster, it winds up taking six months!
  • Please enjoy giant karate robot fights. If you do not appreciate such a thing, this is going to be a long Let’s Play.
  • Dan’s enormous forehead impresses us all.
  • Hey girlChrono Trigger’s Lucca is discovered after wandering around the village. The Zohar save points are not memory cubes. Shapes do not work like that.
  • We explain Chrono Cross as Fei crosses the mountains. Funny that this winds up being posted only after the complete Chrono Cross Let’s Play… fanboymaster is consistently a Korcha and Funguy hater.
  • As we get to Citan’s House, we note that the Final Fantasy 7 Remake is named oddly.
  • Watch as a music box explodes. Is this an omen? No, of course not. Shut-up, Citan.

  • And thus is the pastoral village attacked by… something. Did the directors think people would not recognize giant robots from 40 minutes back?
  • Do not be a JRPG protagonist. Absolutely do not be a JRPG protagonist’s best friend.
  • *Record Scratch* “You’re probably wondering how I got into this giant robot.”
  • Seriously, girl?This is chronologically the first time on the stream that BEAT compliments the opening of Spec Ops: The Line. Please see every other stream for more information.
  • Foreshadowing for how experience points do not work with Gears right there at the start…
  • Xenosaga and Star Ocean Part 2 have boring intros. Xenogears murders an entire town damn quickly.
  • While making it through the forest, fanboymaster attempts to read a FAQ on activating deathblows. Let us never consider it again, and get some cheating going next stream.
  • “Skies of Arcadia was definitely a polycule by the end,” is uttered as Caliscrub swings in.

  • Hey, this was back when BEAT was displaced from his usual home. This has nothing to do with Fei and Elly exploring a forest, but is relevant to remembering how long ago we streamed Xenogears…
  • Remember when Angry Birds was huge? Fei can fight some birds.
  • Fei also fights a dinosaur as Caliscrub recounts how he beat Xenogears over the course of two years and two copies.
  • This is concerning“The giant robot is my friend.”
  • Citan and Elly have a heart to heart while married men discuss dating apps that scrape twitter.
  • Elly runs off into the night as the Xenosaga – Xenogears connection is discussed.
  • Which fighting game includes Jesus? It has nothing to do with chaos and Xenosaga.
  • And we close with a discussion on the ancient archives of that one forum.

Next time on Xenogears: Meet the parents.


Chrono Cross 10: The Ends

We missed these guysViper Manor is an integral part of Chrono Cross. And, befitting such a centerpiece of the game, there are three entirely different, entirely separate routes to Viper Manor. You can scale a cliff with Guile, fight through a forest with Nikki, or storm the front gates with Pierre. All three routes have their own puzzles and challenges, and all three routes come with one new party member and distinct treasures (of the more physical variety, though making friends with Pierre is still the greatest treasure of all). And, given selecting any route means excluding your other two choices, it is 100% mandated that you cannot see all the content Chrono Cross has to offer on one play through. Unlike Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross has a significant reason to utilize New Game+ and play through this multiple-choice adventure again.

And then there is the other significant branch in Chrono Cross: do you hunt the hydra for Kid? And if you choose the obvious “Route B”, and decide not to start an ecological disaster for the strange thief lady you just met…. Well… nothing happens. There is no alternate scenario, you just get a handful of different characters (two quickly/mandatory, one other eventually), and the normal plot of the game continues aplomb, just minus a trip across dimensions to a swamp. Oh, excuse me, the plot does not continue exactly the same, as there is a gigantic plot hole (or at least plot confusion) wherein someone apparently acquired hydra humor, but the hydra in a completely different dimension still died, presumably of natural causes. So, to make a long paragraph short: one “branch” is clearly the “real” plot of Chrono Cross, and the other option is just an excuse to hide some characters behind a choice that is proven to never have been a choice at all. And, no, you do not get a bonus dungeon out of the deal.

And, ladies and gentlemen, that is Chrono Cross through and through.

Keep it cleanDeptford hit the nail on the head during his guest stint: Chrono Cross is a game where “individual moments are great”. There has not been an update here where there was not at least something cool happening at some point. There may have been a boring haunted ship, but we got to use a magical luchador through it all. The Isle of the Damned may have been an annoying puzzle that was already outdated on the NES, but it came to an amazing climax with a ghost giant. Dragon hunting can get boring, but at least someone thought to include a rock opera in there. And, in today’s example, we have the fact that there are three whole separate scenarios with interesting locales, characters, and challenges in one branch of the game, and the next branch immediately after that has… Glenn as a consolation prize? It is a lot nicer to say that than “a fat lot of nothing”…

I cannot in good conscious call Chrono Cross a bad game. It is a game full of moments, all stitched together in a manner that make a lot of its other moments look terrible. The direction of the game is not great, and the plot barely holds together. But there are so many remarkable moments in between, it can all be forgiven. Lynx is a great visual design! Just don’t think about the thinly-veiled plot justification for “this cat man is a super computer and also your father” making absolutely zero sense! The resolution of Schala is something Chrono Trigger fans begged for for five years, so please don’t think too hard about the process of scientists in 2300 AD somehow forcing a space bug to birth a baby clone in 1005 AD on Lucca’s doorstop. It is ridiculous, but the only thing surprising about it is that the producers then didn’t try to paste on an even more ridiculous justification for Kid’s Australian accent (we know for a fact she grew up with Lucca in Guardia! Where would she even learn the word “strewth”!?). And, while we are on the subject of Chrono Cross somehow being good or bad because of its choices, consider the battle system, which is a germ of a good idea that simply never evolves into something that is consistent. How do you do the most damage in Chrono Cross? Playing with colors? Summons? Focusing on physical attacks? Who the heck knows. And I can certainly say this person that has devoted hours to the game has no idea. At least there aren’t any relevant super bosses!

Kind of familiarSo this is Chrono Cross. It is a mess. But is it bad? No, it has too much good to ever truly be bad. Chrono Cross is all over the place, but its marvelous highs justify its horrendous lows.

Oh, and the music is unequivocally, universally good.

… Except the battle theme, the song you probably hear the most…

Dammit! I’m going it again!

Even Worse Streams presents Chrono Cross
Night 10

Original Stream Night: August 2, 2022

Recruited this stream:

  • Guile
  • Macha
  • Doc
  • Pierre (in another timeline)

Random Notes on the Stream

  • Ajvark joins us for a revisit to Termina “like from Majora’s Mask”. No, it does not get mooned.
  • We’re going for Guile!
  • This is the path of least resistance… and Guile is pretty cool. Still no Magus, though…
  • Fanboymaster and I once again disagree on the merits of Final Fantasy 8 versus Final Fantasy 9 as we climb cliffs.
  • “The plan is there is going to be ten weeks of Chrono Cross, and then I’ll start Xenogears.” Guess what is next week, ladies and gentlemen!
  • Maybe wear a helmetAs we return to Balthy’s library, we discuss that other Let’s Play that is going on.
  • BEAT evidently did not read the Wild Arms 2 Let’s Play which features far too much twincest.
  • After the Viper Manor raid, you know you are a certain age when you say, “Do you want to hear my funny ICQ story?”
  • We recruit Macha and Glenn, and then head for… the exact same pirate ship we fought through the last time. No Hydra Marsh, no replacement for the Hydra Marsh.
  • Let’s talk about how many crappy Blaster Master games are out there!
  • I apologize for the fact that I did not rename Zoah to ZOAH on the previous playthrough.
  • We swing by Marbule and talk about the terrible Marvel comics featuring Aunt May getting laid.
  • “Is he strong, listen punk, he’s got radioactive spunk.”
  • Brave Fencer Musashi is suggested as a next stream game around the same time Kid comes out of her coma. Now we know what is going to be played next, even if it won’t be on the site next.
  • Caliscrub stops in just as we get Serge, Poshul, and Doc to fight Lavos.
  • They so angry!Is Lavos dead yet? We learn that Minecraft, Xenoblade Chronicles, and not much else is New 3DS Exclusive before finally seeing the “angry girlfriends ending” of Chrono Cross.
  • The finer points of Guilty Gear, Venom, and Dizzy are discussed as we finally recruit the last character on the stream, Pierre.
  • And, finally, the battle against Ketchop closes out Chrono Cross. Ketchop is not a lady piloting a giant old man robot.

Next time on Even Worse Streams: Let’s find religion!

Maybe next time