Ladies and gentlemen, as a special treat that exists for reasons outside of wanting to have an even number of Xenogears articles, please enjoy this “podcast”-style review of all the Gears in Xenogears.
This Robot Roundtable features myself, usual Even Worse commentator fanboymaster, frequent guest Abby Denton, and newcomer Sean. Note that everyone involved but yours truly is a verified giant robot nerd. I… am more into Transformers.
We are reviewing the various Gear schematics available in the good book, Xenogears Perfect Works. This is well worth a listen, and I stand by this as the funniest “impromptu” video on the site. Giant robots are your deadbeat dad!
And that’s it for Xenogears coverage on Gogglebob.com, folks! All posted a mere 780 days after we streamed our first episode of Xenogears. I told you it would finish eventually! Just like Xenogears!
What’s next? Moving from one Square Playstation JRPG to a Square Playstation adventure game…
Jessie B. Black, once known as Jesiah Blanche, was never a man of faith. While his son was dedicated to Ethos and the church, Jessie always believed the local religion to be a lie, and struck out on his own frequently. While this wreaked havoc on his family (his daughter became a mute, his wife became dead), Jessie persevered, and stayed true to his own principles. He fought the forces of Solaris in his own way, and did his absolute best to accomplish his goals… even if that often put him at odds with his son.
But Billy and Jessie teamed up when the nefarious Bishop Stone attacked. Bishop Stone (aka Isaac Stein, aka The Red Skull) had been granted -the power-, and was practically invincible thanks to his Gear’s ability to channel raw hate into an etheric barrier. While basking in his own invulnerability, Stone revealed he was personally responsible for killing Jessie’s wife/Billy’s mother, and threatened to destroy the Yggdrasil and everyone aboard. Billy is particularly perturbed, but Stone’s menace aimed at an entire ship full of people made this situation dire for more than just the Black family. But Jessie has a plan! He can use the Buntline Gear to transform into a gun, and Billy can shoot the Buntline “bullet” to destroy the barrier! We’re going to be okay!
Except about a minute after Billy fires the Buntline, Citan, the Gear’s creator, informs Billy that the pilot of the Buntline is killed in the process of shooting that Gear-bullet. Oopsie!
But, as Jessie said when he became a human projectile, “Question not thy god, for thy god doth not respond.” Jessie survived the Buntline, but not because of his faith. Citan was a genius, but Jessie was capable of improving the Buntline personally, and made it a Gear that was not suicide for its pilot. The Buntline could now fire Jessie an infinite number of times, and the worst that would come of it all was a headache. Jessie did not simply hope he would weather his own annihilation, he made his survival a priority, and did everything in his power to guarantee that. And this faith in himself was rewarded when Bishop Stone was defeated, and Jessie’s daughter, Primera, finally spoke to her father.
Everything was good for the Black family, and it was all thanks to Jessie finding the god within himself.
And then everybody climbed a tower or something because Jessie met a dude in a cave one time. Just how these things go…
Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 9
Original Stream Night: March 30, 2021
Night of the Soul Edge
Random Stream Notes
We took nearly the entire month of March off thanks to a fundraising stream and a honeymoon, but we’re back in the Xenosaddle!
Kishi is here practically from the start this time.
Kishi asks about my trip to St. Augustine, Florida (which is where I was the previous Tuesday). The fact that it was so familiar after a couple decades away eventually inspired an article.
Let us talk about Gundam and Toonami doing its best with the concept of Gundam Wing being popular.
“I’m gonna die, but I wanna die awesome.”
And I died again. I really must remember to buy gear for the Gears…
If this has not been noted before, Kishi is disgusted by the fact that I am cheating and still losing.
We take a quick moment to look at the debug items I have cheated into the game.
Persona 3 would like you to dance while I put you in a trance.
So we equipped accessories to pump up Elly’s ether stats for her super Aeroid attack… and it heals the boss. Okay!
Thank God, we won.
Street Fighter characters speak whatever language they want
Welcome to the Tower of Babil! Why isn’t Fei doing any damage…
Fanboymaster and Kishi agree that the Mega Man franchise is mostly not great. I take personal offense at this.
Ninja Gaiden Z should never be mentioned again.
The Tower of Babil is awesome from a design perspective… and awful from a gameplay perspective.
Hoggish Greedly should not hang out with Ed Asner. He liked meat too much.
We are the archetypal dads. Note: none of us are dads.
“According to this Tripod.com fansite…”
Fanboymaster points out that the modern equivalent of the dad working on an old car in the garage is a raspberry pi aficionado continually tinkering on the perfect build, and this fact hurts my brain.
Faith is important, but it is not everything.
But, as Jessie said when he became a human projectile, “Question not thy god, for thy god doth not respond.” Jessie survived the Buntline, but not because of his faith. Citan was a genius, but Jessie was capable of improving the Buntline personally, and made it a Gear that was not suicide for its pilot. The Buntline could now fire Jessie an infinite number of times, and the worst that would come of it all was a headache. Jessie did not simply hope he would weather his own annihilation, he made his survival a priority, and did everything in his power to guarantee that. And this faith in himself was rewarded when Bishop Stone was defeated, and Jessie’s daughter, Primera, finally spoke to her father.
Persona 3 would like you to dance while I put you in a trance.
Fanboymaster points out that the modern equivalent of the dad working on an old car in the garage is a raspberry pi aficionado continually tinkering on the perfect build, and this fact hurts my brain.