Tag Archives: Citan Uzuki

Xenogears 02: Fei in the Desert

VroomAnd so we again look to the story of Fei Fong Wong.

Fei had tasted -the power- of the enormous Weltall, but forsaken it, as that same power that could have saved his village destroyed it and the people he loved. Without a home or the support of his tribe, Fei visited the nearby Dazil. There, he tried to secure transportation with his last remaining friend, Citan. But when Citan entered the desert alone, Fei chased after him. Fei thought his friend was in danger! And he was! The poor, human Citan was being menaced by enormous Gears not unlike those that had ruined Fei’s life. Fei had but one choice: again pilot the Weltall, and rescue his most loyal companion.

But then the devil came down to Dazil.

The devil came to Fei and said, “If you are the Slayer of God, then why did you slay your friends?”

Fei answered, “It is written: ‘ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Here lies a fiancée no one should trust.’”

Then the devil took step atop his Gear and said, “Slayer of God,” he said, “I brought those Gears to your village. How did you fail so thoroughly?”

Fei answered him, “If you hadn’t come, the village would not have suffered the way it did. You cannot be the person who judges me for an act you instigated.”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the deserts of the world and their sandiness. ”Imagine -the power- I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Fei said to him, “Away from me, Grahf! For it is written: ‘Honor thy Dad, I mean thy Father.’”

Look out!And then the devil got huffy, and left Fei a giant sandworm to fight. And then Fei got captured, regained his giant robot, and had to fight through a stupid dungeon for like three hours. But Balthasar confirmed evolution was a real thing during that little adventure, so we’re not going to talk about that…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 2

Original Stream Night: January 12, 2021
Night of The Monster Rancher

Random Notes on the Stream

  • Welcome to our second town! There’s a lot of sand. We’re going to start with a discussion of some dumb anime, like Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a starter town? … That is the whole title of a show…
  • We would like to publicly state that Even Worse Streams does not in any way condone slavery.
  • Caliscrub enters as Citan talks to Fei about stuff he absolutely shouldn’t know.
  • Hey, did you know The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a great game? It totally is, and better at triggering flags than Xenogears.
  • LET ME READ YOUR FINGERSFei wanders the desert as we try to figure out if Dude, Where’s My Car is a real movie that happened.
  • We are all impressed by Fei getting a free motorcycle like KOS-MOS. A franchise staple!
  • Is it weird that I am nostalgic for references to BEAT’s old, banned Twitter account?
  • Xenogears once again is compared to Chrono Cross and the infamous “you are the Chrono Trigger speech”.
  • And the first video ends as we are kidnapped by soldiers/discuss eyeballs.

  • Hey, if you didn’t catch it yet, Xenogears is Star Wars. We got captured by Tusken Raiders.
  • BEAT appreciates zooming in on people-pixels. The rest of us are not impressed.
  • Bart the Sand Pirate is assumed horny until proven otherwise. This will never be proven otherwise.
  • I cannot believe Caliscrub keeps watching Tusk instead of Xenogears as Fei… dies. Sorry! Didn’t walk fast enough! Quick restart!
  • Bart arrives! And his mech only has one eye!
  • This is getting annoyingBEAT read ahead! He knows about Chu Chu already!
  • Our first Gear dungeon! Oh boy jumping around a cave! Because you can (not) fly.
  • Confirmed: BEAT has beaten Chrono Trigger, but has not collected any cats.
  • We like talking about Geno and Bowser the Furry.
  • As Segment 2 ends, Fanboymaster goads me into explaining how the Gears’ tech points work. I would like to do that… if I knew what the hell they did.

  • “Just let me commit a war crime” – BEAT
  • Balthasar appears! He is one of those guys that makes robots good.
  • The Japanese names of the three sages of Chrono Trigger are Hash, Basch, and Gasch. Their American names start popping up around here in Xenogears…
  • And then there’s a discussion on the Biblical Elijah. We can talk about something other than Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
  • Oh, hey, this dungeon goes on forever while we are reminded this whole streaming thing was once called Dog Street Streams.
  • Penguin Drum and Revolutionary Girl Utena are discussed as Old Man Bal talks about the inevitable Omnigear.
  • Another vrooomWe’re leaving the cave! By going down! It makes perfect sense!
  • Opposite the boss battle with a foreshadowing Gear the Queen biopic is discussed. That movie also had a lot of cats.
  • Pretty much everyone disappears as we explore the Yggdrasil and discuss the future of Xenogears… Wait! BEAT comes back! Then it’s over!

Next time on Xenogears: Let’s Fight!

Xenogears 01: The Story of Fei

Let's Xeno some GearsLet us consider the parable of Fei Fong Wong

Fei had a good life. He was the talk of the town, a prodigious painter, and a friend to children and animals alike. Fei was not a violent man, but he taught others martial arts with enough skill that it was clear he had studied it prodigiously in the past. And what was Fei’s past? Nobody knew! Fei was a complete tabula rasa when he arrived at the village of Lahan. But even without memories of a former life, Fei was a good man, and well loved by all those around him.

Though being well loved sometimes causes its own problems. Fei had two best friends, Alice and Timothy, and they were pledged to be married. They both adored Fei, but this may have been a problem for Alice. She often commented that she wondered what would have happened if Fei had lived in the village all his life, and if Timothy had never been in the picture.

But did Fei take this opportunity to covet his best friend’s wife-to-be? No! Fei was a good, decent man, and still did everything he could to support his friends. He visited another mutual friend, Dr. Citan Uzuki, to secure a wedding photographer. Fei’s trip up the mountain to Citan’s home is perilous and wrought with danger, but he does it not to “win” Alice, but to be the good man that helps his friends. Who else was going to fight all those wolves? Dan of the extended forehead? Pashaw!

But things take a turn for the worse when Fei returns from his altruistic errand. “Giants” attack the town of Lahan, and these creatures are revealed to be gargantuan robots piloted by enemy combatants. Fei and Citan both work together to save the town, but Fei makes a terrible mistake when he attempts to pilot one of these robots. While in the cockpit, Fei witnesses the death of Timothy, and then things escalate as Fei enters a fugue state that ultimately leads to more fatalities, including the death of Alice. In the end, the whole town of Lahan can no longer bear to look at Fei, as his robot recklessness is responsible for a steep decline in the local population.

But what Fei does next is what makes him a good man.

It's tense for all of usFei felt -the power- when he gained his enormous Gear. And, when the townsfolk banished him, he could have easily shown them the wrong side of a mechanical machine gun. But, no, Fei immediately forsakes -the power-, and listens to the pleas of the townsfolk. He exiles himself to a nearby forest, and lives the rest of his days without returning to Lahan. He tasted -the power-, but he did not desire it, so Lahan is a better place/flaming crater.

And is Fei rewarded for this act of sacrifice? Well, he immediately thereafter meets his soulmate and fights a real, live dinosaur. So you tell me.

So always remember the parable of Fei Fong Wong. He was a man that had -the power-, found it to be too much, and then forsook it for a better life with a cute redhead.

… Wait. There’s more to this story?

…. Hm. Guess there might be a few more updates…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 1

Original Stream Night: January 5, 2021
Night of Blazing Dragons

This “night” was separated into three separate videos, as I was trying to follow the success of the smaller Let’s Play chapters of World of Final Fantasy. Unfortunately, due to the length of Xenogears, this does not last past Night 3…

Random Notes on the Stream

  • “This will only take three months.” Welcome to our irreverent Let’s Play of Xenogears! And the joke is on you, Prophetic fanboymaster, it winds up taking six months!
  • Please enjoy giant karate robot fights. If you do not appreciate such a thing, this is going to be a long Let’s Play.
  • Dan’s enormous forehead impresses us all.
  • Hey girlChrono Trigger’s Lucca is discovered after wandering around the village. The Zohar save points are not memory cubes. Shapes do not work like that.
  • We explain Chrono Cross as Fei crosses the mountains. Funny that this winds up being posted only after the complete Chrono Cross Let’s Play… fanboymaster is consistently a Korcha and Funguy hater.
  • As we get to Citan’s House, we note that the Final Fantasy 7 Remake is named oddly.
  • Watch as a music box explodes. Is this an omen? No, of course not. Shut-up, Citan.

  • And thus is the pastoral village attacked by… something. Did the directors think people would not recognize giant robots from 40 minutes back?
  • Do not be a JRPG protagonist. Absolutely do not be a JRPG protagonist’s best friend.
  • *Record Scratch* “You’re probably wondering how I got into this giant robot.”
  • Seriously, girl?This is chronologically the first time on the stream that BEAT compliments the opening of Spec Ops: The Line. Please see every other stream for more information.
  • Foreshadowing for how experience points do not work with Gears right there at the start…
  • Xenosaga and Star Ocean Part 2 have boring intros. Xenogears murders an entire town damn quickly.
  • While making it through the forest, fanboymaster attempts to read a FAQ on activating deathblows. Let us never consider it again, and get some cheating going next stream.
  • “Skies of Arcadia was definitely a polycule by the end,” is uttered as Caliscrub swings in.

  • Hey, this was back when BEAT was displaced from his usual home. This has nothing to do with Fei and Elly exploring a forest, but is relevant to remembering how long ago we streamed Xenogears…
  • Remember when Angry Birds was huge? Fei can fight some birds.
  • Fei also fights a dinosaur as Caliscrub recounts how he beat Xenogears over the course of two years and two copies.
  • This is concerning“The giant robot is my friend.”
  • Citan and Elly have a heart to heart while married men discuss dating apps that scrape twitter.
  • Elly runs off into the night as the Xenosaga – Xenogears connection is discussed.
  • Which fighting game includes Jesus? It has nothing to do with chaos and Xenosaga.
  • And we close with a discussion on the ancient archives of that one forum.

Next time on Xenogears: Meet the parents.

OMEGA