Tag Archives: mega man

Year in Review: 2017

2017! Huh! What was it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again!

Disappointment of the Year: Super Bomberman R

KapowI say it every year, but the disappointment of the year is not the worst game of the year, it is simply a game that came close to being good, and… didn’t. Super Bomberman R is a Bomberman renaissance, and arguably exactly what I wanted ever since Super Bomberman 2. In fact, it basically is a remake of Super Bomberman 2, just with more modern graphics, portability, online play, and a goofy plot played out in cute, animated cutscenes. It’s the Bomberman we’ve all been waiting for!

Which is why the actual game having significant problems is such a shame. It is clear people that actually care about Bomberman (and Konami) made this game, but they really missed the mark on actual Bomberman gameplay. The graphics are great… but make it extremely difficult to see your lil’ Bomber amongst the chaos. The tiered stages are fun, but determining your exact plateau at a glance is nearly impossible. And some of the traps (ice? Really?) and stage objectives (an escort mission!?) are practically antithetical to the very concept of the bombers.

In short, Super Bomberman R should be an amazing return to form for the entire franchise; but, as it is, I can hardly recommend it. This could have been the preeminent multiplayer experience of the Switch launch…

But everybody just wants to play Mario Kart anyway, so no big deal.

Reason to not let me out of the house for the Year: Amiibo, again

Amiibo!

I want to be very clear about something: If Nintendo decides to release Super Smash Bros. 4 Switch, and uses that as an excuse to do an entire run of 2-Player Alternate amiibos, or, God help us all, “Final Smash” themed giant amiibos, then I’m going to have to jump off a building. Or at least stab my eyes out. Something to stop the inevitable accumulation of even more Nintendo merchandise that I convince myself doubles as some sort of physical DLC. Just, please Nintendo, don’t make me have to cut off my own hands. Please.

Compilation of the Year: Mega Man Legacy Collection 2

I now can finally say I own copies of Mega Man 9 & 10 in physical form, and it’s my annual excuse to post this again.

Everything is coming up Mega Man!

Remake of the Year: Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap

So scenicI’ve never been a giant fan of the Wonder Boy series, because the gameplay has always been a little too close to The Adventures of Link for my taste, and, while I love that game, it can get very frustrating, very fast. Could I have a little range to my attacks? No? Fine, whatever, I really felt like trudging through that forest full of slimes all over again. Thanks. Oh, and don’t get me started on the whole “how health works” system. You want me to spend how much on an extra life that could potentially drop from a random octopus anyway?

But I’ll stop complaining and talk about the good stuff: this title got me to actually enjoy a Wonder Boy game! Hooray! It’s still a very, very annoying Genesis game, and there is just nothing that is going to make “there are a thousand random shops and you need a guide to compare their inventories” any fun, but, man, is this thing pretty to look at. Between the “version switch” button and the gorgeous modern graphics, there were enough quality of life improvements made to Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap that it kept my interest throughout. And that’s the best a remake of a “forgotten” title can achieve.

Title of the Year: Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue

So similar...Kingdom Hearts might be an easy punching bag around here, but when you see such a ridiculous title, you’ve gotta take notice. In this case, it’s not that the title is word garbage like other winners of the coveted “Title of the Year” award, it’s about the fact that Kingdom Hearts somehow requires a 2.8. We already blew 2.5 for the remakes, the almighty 3 is reserved for a game that will never be released in our lifetimes, so 2.8 is the only option. In fact, it will be downright amazing if Kingdom Hearts 3 isn’t released in 2018, because that would mean a game that pretty much exists to promote KH3 would have been released at least two years before its “real” big brother. Or maybe we’ll see a 2.999999 by then…

System of the Year: Nintendo Switch

Ah, nappingThis was the easiest decision on the list. The Nintendo Switch is basically a WiiU+, and that is all I ever wanted. My gaming habits are such that I have… a really short attention span, and being able to migrate from the television to “I’m watching Riverdale now” mode allows for more control than I’m used to having over my library. For years, portable games have been portable games, console games have been console games, and never the twain shall meet. Now I can play my big widescreen games on the TV, get to a more “grindy” area, and casually enjoy the same experience while I’m paying slightly less attention. Now I can play Switch every last hour of the day properly budget my time!

And Nintendo seems to be completely aware of this, too. Breath of the Wild is an amazing, engrossing title… but it also has 120 shrines that seem to be designed to be tackled on a boring bus ride. Super Mario Odyssey has seventy craptillion Power Moons, and you can’t tell me that you’re supposed to explore New Donk City entirely in one sitting. Even some of the less AAA titles, like Mario + Rabbids or Fire Emblem Warriors, seem to be designed with the Switch’s chief appeal in mind, and that’s just peachy.

The Switch isn’t perfect (for some ridiculous reason, it can’t play Super Metroid yet), but if every year is as good for the Switch as its launch, this might wind up being the best system in videogame history, for both software and hardware.

Game of the Year: Sonic Mania

Tails!2017 might have been a horrible year for reality, but it was an amazing year for gaming. NieR: Automata was a long-shot to ever exist, changed the very concept of what a videogame could be, and also somehow sparked a robo-butt renaissance. Persona 5 was the long awaited sequel to Persona 4, already one of my favorite games, and featured the most stylish gameplay and music I’ve seen in a decade. Super Mario Odyssey is just a joy to play from start to finish, and you can control a flappy dinosaur. Breath of the Wild redefined what a Zelda game could be. Even Cuphead could potentially be my game of the year, if only because it reminded us all that you don’t have to be the next Skyrim to change the face of gaming. Man, if we get even one more game like Cuphead in the next decade, I’ll be happy (this includes Cuphead 2, incidentally).

But Sonic Mania? Sonic Mania taught me to love again.

I’ve been playing Sonic the Hedgehog games forever. In fact, I’ve been playing Sonic games as they’ve released as long as the franchise has existed. I gnawed through Sonic Heroes when it first dropped, and learned to live with the werehog one stretchy limb at a time. I played every last 2-D Sonic GBA and DS game, and grimaced as I was told that this was how Sonic always felt. Was… was that true? Were my memories of OG Sonic some illusion of age? Some nostalgia for a game that never truly existed? Was I tapping into a lost dimension every time I booted up my Sega Genesis?

The answer is, obviously, a resounding no, because Sonic Mania is the real Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (& Knuckles).

I’m not going to write another thousand words on why this game is great, but it’s amazing, and it validated my own memories, and, unlike every other amazing game this year, I’m probably going to replay it again from start to finish within the decade, so it’s my game of the year. Sorry, Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash, you were this close.

Games I’m sure are great, but I haven’t played: Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Horizon Zero Dawn, Agents of Mayhem

It was a really good year for games! I’ll get to them before next year! Maybe!

Games I’m sure are great, but I still haven’t played: Overwatch, Doom, Undertale

Look, I’ve got the physical version of Undertale coming from Fangamer with some Christmas dough, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to play that this year! Okay!?

Gogglebob.com Introspection 2017

Damn wormFor reasons of my own making, this year has been surprisingly busy since about July. Don’t be concerned, gentle reader, things were complicated for fairly good reasons (or at least expected reasons), but it did make my “hobby blog” a little more difficult to keep on schedule for the last half year or so. But fear not! There’s a reason the FGC didn’t miss an update (give or take that one bout of Trump-induced constipation), and that’s because I genuinely like writing about videogames on this blog. It’s weird! I still maintain that I’m surprised the site has lasted this long, but here we are! Weird! Here’s to another how ever many articles I have in me!

(Though if you’re looking at the Wild Arms 2 Let’s Play updates in real time over at that one forum, you may have noticed a little slow down. Man, I should have waited until Fall to start that thing up.)

Anyway, I’d love to offer some additional insight into the process or something here, but it’s just a matter of playing games, writing about games, and occasionally making weird videos about games. Gotta pick your battles there. And, in that spirit, here are a few articles that haven’t already been linked that I liked this year:

FGC #225 Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow
FGC #243 Dragon’s Lair (NES)
FGC #261 Spice World
FGC #277 New Super Mario Bros. 2
FGC #294 Skullmonkeys
FGC #316 Injustice 2

And I would be remiss if I didn’t note this was the year I started streaming with some random knuckleheads, which is always a good time. Hey, guys, when do you want to do that again?

And on that note, I’m calling this a year reviewed. See you next year! Or this year! Writing things in advance is confusing!

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Ninja Master’s! Ninja Master’s… what? Guess we’ll find out! Please look forward to it!

FGC #367 Mega Man X8

Mega Man!Here lies the Mega Man X series. Forever may it rest.

Let’s get one thing out of the way immediately: Mega Man X is one of my favorite games. Mega Man X2 and X3 are both great experiences, too, as, while they’re not as great as OG X, they both contain that same (exactly the same) enjoyable X gameplay. Then we get into X4 and X5, which introduced Zero as a (permanently) playable character. The jury is still out on whether or not this improved the series, but, for my money, there is nothing more joyous than double jumping around with a lightsaber and dicing mavericks to maver-bits. Then, starting with X6, the series tried to be experimental. And by “experimental” I mean “completely horrible”. If the stories are true, Inafune stopped formally directing the X series with X5 (so he could move on to the Zero series), and X6 was left in hands that were… slightly less capable. X6 may not have been the disaster some have claimed (it is an extremely unpolished mess, but it is still “X gameplay” at the end of the day), but then we got X7.

I’m probably never going to forgive Mega Man X7.

I’ll save the majority of this rant for when ROB inevitably pegs that Playstation 2 title, but, long story short, Mega Man X7 tried to do the “bring old franchise to the modern era” trick… but failed miserably. 3-D action areas were broken and slow, and the beloved gameplay of the SNES/PSX titles was forsaken for Flame Hyenard announcing his intention to “burn”. It was a rotten experience all around, and, while the drive to innovate is always appreciated, it certainly did not work out in this situation.

But, aside from the crummy gameplay, Mega Man X7 introduced another fine addition to the X canon: it firmly planted X’s head so far up his own ass, he could lick the inside of his own reploid ribcage. Only the buster on his arm knows for sure why, but the Mega Man X series always had a sort of maudlin sentimentality to the storytelling. It was mostly confined to the endings during the first three titles, but X4-X6 managed to wedge in conversations with Mavericks that often involved robots lamenting their sorry lots in life shortly before shooting homing fish at each other. Pew PewX7 ratcheted that up a notch or two with a tale of betrayal, refugees, and Sigma that was, fun fact, the exact same plot as Mega Man X4. X7 managed to expand the talky talk of the X series, but still told the exact same story as ever.

The next logical step was clear: an endlessly philosophizing JRPG called Mega Man X: Command Mission. Wait! No! That’s a terrible idea! Please keep the franchise going! We like action games! Please give us a new Mega Man X game, and please let it be an actual goddamn Mega Man game! Please?

Well, we mostly got our wish.

Mega Man X8 should be lauded for a number of reasons. First of all, it was a return to (almost entirely) 2-D gameplay, so 90% of X7’s inane bullshit went right out the window. Additionally, X8 did its best to add an interesting facet to the series, so it allowed for character switching “in battle”, and based a number of scenarios, like escaping a grasping opponent or teaming up for a double attack, on the convention of having two combatants available. X got some curious armor, Zero scored a menagerie of weapons, and Axl’s “morph into a mook” ability got expanded to something actually viable. Couple this with some stimulating secrets, one of the better uses of “money” in the franchise, and your typical eight mavericks ready for a beat down, and Mega Man X8 is a pretty good game to actually play. Assuming you can forgive the vehicle sections and a few areas that are entirely instant death traps, X8 is an enjoyable experience.

But then there’s the story. It’s not that the story is bad (which it certainly is), it’s not that the story is somehow at war with its own continuity (thanks, Zero series!), and it’s not even that the story pukes all over the very concept of even basic science (Earth does not need a space elevator!); no, the greatest sin of the plot of Mega Man X8 is that is tries to be Mega Man Genesis Evangelion without the tiniest hint of irony or self-awareness. The subtitle is “Paradise Lost”. The first stage is Noah’s Park. The final battles are against Sigma as a fiery devil, followed by a fallen angel with beautiful wings. X whines about having to murder his fellow robots while battling the thinnest allegory for the Light Bringer in the history of gaming. Someone thought it was a good idea for Mega Man X, the robot built by Santa Claus to bring about world peace with his flamethrower arm, to play out some Bible fanfic while incidentally battling Isn't that a song?Bamboo Pandamonium, the nihilistic panda robot with swords for fingers. This is a thing that happened, and it absolutely could not have happened by accident. Someone… probably multiple people… thought this was the proper direction for a series featuring a robot that is occasionally named after granite.

And… it killed the X series.

There are likely a number of reasons Mega Man X8 was the final chapter. At this point, it was becoming more and more complicated to create realistic and cartoony graphics, and the general population wasn’t a fan of the latter appearing in practically anything. The man behind the Mega had already moved on to a new series, and the new home of 2-D gaming, the booming portable market, would wind up hosting a number of different Mega experiments (see ZX, Powered Up, and the X-based Maverick Hunter releases). And, hey, the original Mega Man series had stopped at 8 at this point, too, so maybe that’s just the cutoff for Capcom properties (sorry to be the one to tell you this, Resident Evil). The fact that Mega Man X8 had sagging sales compared to other Capcom properties may have been a factor. But, all told, it’s terribly unlikely that anyone looked at the plot of this bonkers adventure, acknowledge said bonkinality, and decided it was time for a break. But should we have received a Mega Man X9 on PS2, I have no doubt it would have continued the story of Axl, the lamest Maverick Hunter in the world, and maybe involved a parable about the sacrifice of Christ or something.

So I have to say this right now: Capcom, if you considering rebooting or reigniting the Mega Man X franchise, please, please ignore every X game since… let’s say… Mega Man X.

Please.

All together nowLook, you don’t have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Zero is a lock for inclusion, and even Axl could be pretty interesting with his Bass-esque abilities. Include armor parts, weapon upgrades, and maybe even a chip system. That could all be pretty great. But please ignore the entirety of Mega Man X continuity. Please let X just be moderately conflicted, and don’t make him fight gods. Let him run, jump, and explore, but don’t let him in the same room as anything called “The Jakob Project”. X, Zero, Dr. Wily, Sigma: that is all okay. Fighting angels is not.

Mega Man X8 is where the X series died. Let it be dead, and pray that its next resurrection is decidedly less holy.

FGC #367 Mega Man X8

  • System: Playstation 2, and PC a year or so later. Let’s hope the PC version fixed that glitch where the robot ant becomes accidentally trapped in his own box.
  • Number of players: Two hunters at a time, but only one player.
  • She's my buddyBest Reward for OCD: I normally disparage collectathon elements, but the reward for playing this game an unnecessarily long time is unlocking the three navigator lady reploids as playable characters. They’re just reskins of the main cast that are randomly weaker… which is not sending the best message… but they’re also the first you’ve been able to play as anyone with a rep-gina in the X series (give or take the JRPG). And Layer with Sigma’s humongous sword is a beast, so I will hear no detractors.
  • Favorite Maverick: Gravity Antonion is an excuse for flipping stage orientation in a 2-D game, so he gets my vote. He’s also one of the few insect-based mavericks that is any fun at parties. Uh… don’t ask.
  • Did you know? Dark Mantis‘ Pitch Black stage is located in Africa. Darkest Africa. Are you getting Capcom’s clever/racist joke!?
  • Would I play again: I guess there’s an X collection on the horizon, so it’s kind of inevitable. Not looking forward to reclaiming all my hard-earned powerups from scratch again, nor do I want to hear X shout “Lumine” ever again, but, hey, sacrifices must be made.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Street Fighter 4 for whatever system I can find! Hooray! Street Fighting times for the last article of the year! Please look forward to it!

So much purple

FGC #332 Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite

Note: This article may contain general spoilers for the story mode of Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite. Nothing heavy, but you have been warned.

Gonna take you for a ride?I once claimed that Street Fighter V was the most disappointing game of 2016, and I stand by that statement. Street Fighter V at launch wasn’t a bad game, and it certainly was another Street Fighter game, just… Like the unenviable musk that lingers around anyone that stands downwind of Zangief, there was an unmistaken stench of exploitation surrounding the entire enterprise. Arcade mode was gone, survival mode was boring (could you please use random select for opponents? Please?), and online versus seemed built for someone that had already picked out a “main” (on day one, apparently). Eventually, we received a full story mode, new fighters (and a few old ones), and at least one character that apparently snuck in from a certain other game. Street Fighter V still comes off as disappointing, but now it at least feels like a complete game (albeit one still made for the more hardcore fans).

When I first started playing Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite while waiting for the complete download to finish, I was already noting why MvCI would inevitably be my most disappointing game of 2017. Admittedly, for my tastes, MvCI had an uphill battle, as Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is one of my top games of all time. And, if that game didn’t exist, Marvel vs. Capcom 2 would fill that same space. I’ve loved the Vs. series since Akuma first smacked around Cyclops, and the later entries that seem to include every character ever (except Daredevil) hit every neuron in my brain’s pleasure center like an epileptic Ping-Pong ball. I have videogame attention deficit disorder, and all I want to do is play as every character in every other round. I’m not certain I’ve ever picked the same team in MvC2 twice (except when trying to beat Abyss, then it’s Cable/Mega Man/Cyclops all the way). And MvC3 felt like a game that was built by people that played MvC2 for a decade, made a mental list of everything they’d add if they could, and then did. Zero! Thor! She-Hulk! Give or take an X-Man or two, that roster is perfect, and the gameplay matches it. And it’s even fairly balanced! No more Sentinel/Magneto/Storm defeating everybody! Most of the time!

Pew pewConversely, Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite feels like it was designed by committee. There is not a single Marvel character that did not appear in a movie (or, in Captain Marvel’s case, is about to appear in a movie). The Capcom side isn’t much better, and features three stubbly white guys that have nearly identical facial portraits. We’re chasing power stones, where are the crazy anime characters of Power Stone? Where are my ghost tricks? Where is Ryu (the dragon, not the other one)? Heck, we don’t even have a single Street Fighter that was introduced after 1991. Akuma and Wolverine practically started this franchise, but they’re left behind because I guess the new, edgy version of Bionic Commando is a bigger draw (but not the new, edgy version of Dante, that guy sucks). And, while I know I’m railing at corporate overlords that only deign to make such a game because they have the spare cash from all the successes that are featured in this title (Avengers: The Movie made more money than the GOP of most countries, and I’m sure at least six people bought Dead Rising 4), I’m still more than a little annoyed at how… cheap this all appears. This feels like the most low-rent and recycled the franchise has ever been, and that’s even considering one of the best entries was about 80% recycled content.

And, oh yeah, the graphics suck. They, like, just do. I can’t explain Captain Marvel’s face. I… I don’t want to look at it anymore.

Lady Marvel

Dammit! Now I’ll never read this article again.

So I was all ready to hate on MvCI as the biggest letdown of the year when, after 40 gigs and 4 hours, the download finally completed (note: despite apparently having downloaded nearly 2 TB of games to my Playstation 4, I still only kill time with Sonic Mania. I will play that game until my eyes fall out of my skull). I could already play with the complete roster in versus mode, but now story and arcade modes were available. Fun fact: arcade mode is nothing, but it at least exists, so it has a leg up over Street Fighter V. And then there was story mode. I wasn’t expecting much, but, since I more or less bought the game “for the story” (it certainly wasn’t just so I could play as Rocket Raccoon [again]), I decided to give it a try.

And damned if that didn’t justify the entire endeavor.

Looks different, tooSaid it before, and I’ll say it again: There is no way to please fans of a crossover series. “Heroes” are meant to be the heroes of their own stories, and when you group a bunch of main characters together, everyone gets reduced to their component parts. A character that previously led an entire adventure is condensed to being “the smart one” because they solved like one problem without punching in the original tale. And, inevitably, your favorite character is reduced to being practically a sidekick to whoever is arbitrarily chosen as the “real” hero of the piece, and, ugh, did you see how Sora was able to defeat Power Trident Ursula with a stupid lightning spell? Totally non-canon. That would never happen.

And this is all utterly true of Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite…

FGC #320 Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man

Low Grav, yo!Not all ideas are created equal.

Our good friend ROB has chosen Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man for today’s entry, and I have to compliment the random robot for this choice. I can tell you that, with absolute certainty, I purchased this title as a cheap, used cartridge, and the only reason I picked it up was because I confused it with (Nintendo Power’s coverage of) Metal Storm. “This is that cool NES game where you could switch gravity, right?” I asked myself as I wandered over to the cash register. I was wrong. I was very wrong, and I’m pretty sure I played this game for all of six seconds before dropping it back into the collection and then proceeding to play… let me guess the timeframe here… probably Final Fantasy X-2. No need to play another weirdo NES game where I can’t even successfully beat the first level, time to get back to being a pop-star/world savior.

And there Low G Man sat for quite a while before ROB pulled it off the shelf for this article. This led to the very unusual situation of playing a 27 year old game that created zero feelings of nostalgia, and, more importantly, I had no idea how to play. I initially figured that this was no more than a NES game, so it can’t be that complicated, and I’d bang out a few levels before the hour is up. But an hour quickly escalated to two, and, before I knew it, I had beaten the game, hopefully having uncovered all the secrets and tricks to this low gravity man’s adventure.

… Or at least figured out how the damn combat system works.

Low G Man has an amazing jump. LGM can jump to the height of the screen (and even powerup further from there), and I guess he earned his title through these miraculous ups. However, his jump is kind of… useless. Don’t get me wrong, you wouldn’t get very far in the LGM world without the ability to scale giant robots or be a human elevator, but this is not a Mario situation wherein our hero bops his way to a better future. Jumping is strictly there for traversal and dodging, which… makes sense? I mean, if he’s got the jump powers because he’s using some manner of self-anti-grav unit, then I guess the impact of boots to a head wouldn’t involve much force. Way to think it through, Low G Man producers!

WeeeeeeSo, in order to properly defend himself, LGM is equipped with a stun gun. That’s good! We’ve got your basic NES freeze ray here, and it works on Samus Aran rules (not to be confused with Ice Slasher rules): an enemy robot (or alien) is frozen, turns blue, and may be used as a platform at will. Bonus: this also means the frozen opponent doesn’t deal contact damage while frozen. By the time of Level 1’s boss, you’ll also be tasked with the Metroidian goal of freezing a few lesser adversaries so you may successfully scale a vertical shaft. All pretty straightforward to start, though with one glaring flaw: the stun gun does absolutely zero damage. Nothing. Frozen or not, an opponent will never die from simple stun blasts. So what’s a Low Gravity Man to do? Whip out a kick ass spear, of course!

LGM has got a spear, and he knows how to use it. Wait, scratch that, he knows how to be a dragoon… and that’s about it. Likely due to the severely lacking number of buttons on the average NES controller, LGM can only utilize his spear in an upward or downward direction. Not coincidentally, LGM also cannot shoot his stun gun straight up or down, only side to side. In a way, this couples amazingly with his crazy jumping skills, as we wouldn’t see a real “moving” Kain Highwind until that one Dissidia game, and dropping spear-first into a foe is always going to be fun. On the other hand, the antagonists of this world almost always move (and attack) horizontally, and the best LGM can consistently do is plink away with his lame stun gun, wait for the freeze to take effect, and then pull off the leaping spear “finishing move”. Pointy end goes hereIt’s kind of fun when there’s one enemy on the screen, but it’s ambiguously suicidal when the place starts filling with murderous robots (and this already happens during the first stage). And, while it can be fun once or twice, stun-jump-spear is basically “normal action gameplay, but with extra steps” when you get right down to it. That can get old across fifteen separate stages crammed with bad bots.

But it’s not the worst idea, right? It’s easy to give a NES game a lot of flack, but the brave men and women of the 8-bit console generation were pioneers working with tools that would nary impress a caveman. Four buttons? Three if you don’t count the seemingly mandatory pause? That barely allows for a second offensive option, so it’s no wonder this feels clumsy. But like how Mega Man X revolutionized weapon switching with the L&R buttons, a “next gen” Low G Man could actually make this idea work. It’s not about freezing and spearing, it’s about utilizing long distance attacks to “soften up” an enemy, and then using a close range maneuver to finish the job. There’s some meat on those bones! That could be a really interesting way to switch up the typical run ‘n gun gameplay of most 2-D action games. Get a director who has been making videogames for a solid couple of years, introduce some modern technology, toss in some dashes that make the whole process faster, and maybe…

DASH DASH SLIDE

Nah, screw it. Not gonna work.

Low G Man, there’s a reason nobody revisits your gameplay. Sorry.

FGC #320 Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man

  • System: NES exclusive. There’s not a Master System or Commodore 64 or whatever version? No? Okay, just checking.
  • Number of players: This Low G Man is an island.
  • Other X Connections: Some enemies ride hovercars or tanks, and you can snag a vehicle for yourself. Not unlike in Metal Slug, all the vehicles have limited “fuel”, and they’ll self-destruct pretty quickly if you’re not paying attention, but it’s always fun to suddenly wield a gun that actually does damage.
  • Favorite Powerup: Low G Man also has a host of sub weapons available. They’re not so great, because you have to earn them from quickly lost enemy drops, and a loss of life will lead to a complete loss of all sub weapons, but… they’re there? Whatever. You get a boomerang, and that’s the quintessential NES weapon, so I’m happy.
  • An end: In a shocking twist, the Low G Man finale, which can only be viewed after beating the game three times, advertises the “upcoming” GI Joe game:

    Just wait!

    Well, I mean, I guess it was a pretty good game.

  • Did you know? Low G Man was developed by KID, a development company that primarily seems to be responsible for a buttload of visual novel games (which can only be measured in butt-based measurements). But they’re also the deranged minds behind the Playstation 1 Pepsi Man game, so they get a pass from me.
  • Would I play again: Naw. Throw this one in the pile of “interesting, but not really enough fun” castoffs.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… WarioWare: Touched for the Nintendo DS! It’s Wario touching time, everybody! Please look forward to it!

Get the point?