Tag Archives: jrpg

FGC #240 Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

ClassySuper Mario Bros. can be completed within about fifteen minutes. Had you told me this information back in the 80’s, I would have never believed you (okay, I might have believed you, I was a dumb child that believed in things like Santa Claus and people who could make it past the first level of Kid Icarus), because I would routinely spend hours playing Super Mario Bros, and it was a long, long time before I ever conquered Bowser once and for all. But, if you know what you’re doing, hold down that B button, and grab all the warps, it’s actually not that difficult to sail past every last Hammer Bro into Peach’s waiting arms. And, yes, the princess is in this castle, and you made it in the time it takes to watch an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Now we can all move on to more important matters, like banishing Dracula or something.

Over time, Mario’s adventures got lengthier. While Super Mario Bros. 3 can be completed in… three minutes? Really? Okay, let’s say fifteen minutes again, that sounds more sane. Super Mario World is in the same boat, but already Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island hits the “you will complete every level” bar, bumping its speedrun times up to at least an hour. Super Mario 64 is similarly at the “ready in about an hour” bar, and Super Mario Sunshine continues the trend. Yes, these giant, sprawling 3-D Mario games still maintain a “speed path” that allows for some insane acrobatics and practically instantaneous princess saving. Forget Wee Goggle Bob’s confusion at modern day speedruns, Present Goggle Bob is amazed at these super-fast Marios right now. Even the entire galaxy of Super Mario Galaxy can be conquered inside of three hours!

And I mention this because, in Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story, it seems like one battle lasts roughly three hours.

PUNT!M&L:BIS is a Mario RPG. Somehow, there are now three different Mario RPG “branches”. There’s Super Mario RPG, the Mario/Square jaunt that was basically a Final Fantasy game (complete with random kingdom in the sky and ancient caves abound) with Mario characters and a slightly active battle system. Unfortunately, this branch kind of died on the vine (… is that how metaphors work?), and we never saw another Mario RPG quite like it. Then we got Paper Mario, which is adorable, and features a sort of “evolved” version of Mario RPG’s battle system. Maybe “devolved” is the proper term? Get ready to see an HP count that never exceeds double digits, and a damage count that can’t even clear the number five. Personally, I love the aesthetic and not arbitrarily doing 1,200 HP damage every round, but I can see how it all adds up to something that seems very… childish. It’s like a pop-up book with tiny, easily counted numbers! Your little brother will love it!

And then there’s the Mario and Luigi franchise. I kind of hate the Mario and Luigi franchise.

Mario and Luigi, at first glance, is very much like Mario RPG or Paper Mario. You’ve got Mario and Luigi, and they’re in JRPG-style battles, and you better learn about timed hits, or you’re going to lose a lot of health points. Generally, in M&L games, it all starts off simple enough, and you jump to dodge, and hit the button at the right time to get a few extra points in, and, easy peasy, you’re done with the opening areas inside of a few hours. But then it gets… tricky. More special attacks are introduced, more ways to move and attack start trickling in, and then, by the time the final boss rolls on in, you’re swept up in a torrent of jump jump slide attack that would put Mega Man 8 to shame. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’ve played some minigames in other JRPGs that are less complex than one round of combat in a Mario and Luigi game.

And it’s exhausting!

TAKE THATI want to say that it leads to some overwhelming feeling of satisfaction when you complete each round of these Mario & Luigi trials, but… not so much. One boss might challenge M&L to a metaphorical game of jump rope every other round, but, end of the day, once that boss is defeated, it’s just another boss down, have some EXP, end of story. The JRPG trappings of Mario & Luigi make it similar to every JRPG that has existed since Erdrick’s descendant first picked up his blade, except every battle plays out like a damn exercise routine instead of aiming the cursor at “fight” and calling it a day. And, make no mistake, the other JRPG trappings are here, too, so you’ve got to resource manage, equip proper armor (overalls), and explore puzzle-y dungeon mazes between those grueling battles. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (aka M&L1) is one of the few games I’ve ever played where I got to the final boss, lost a couple of times, and then said, “Screw it, I’m gonna play something else.” And it’s all because the final boss’s attack sequences each, individually, seemed to take entire hours of my life. Who has time for that (gigantic exaggeration)!?

In fact, Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story is the only Mario & Luigi game I’ve ever completed. Why? Well, as much as people complain about some of the minigames in this game (and their endless tutorials), I found that some of those distractions (and super giant Bowser) are enough of an interruption from the usual gameplay that it… is “refreshed” the right word? Yes, the silly minigames made me want to play the game more because the normal game is so exhausting. I beat M&L:BIS, felt happy to have accomplished such a feat, and then never picked up another M&L game ever again. Brothers, I don’t care if your writing is really clever and your sprites are delightful, I got better things to do than dodge a shy guy over and over and over again.

Not so shy nowAnd that’s why I’m unlikely to play another Mario & Luigi game again. It’s not that Mario & Luigi games are bad. Quite the opposite, despite how much vitriol has been spewed all over this post. M&L games are well crafted and charming, with colorful characters and interesting variations on established Mario characters. Unfortunately, the games also take forever, and for the exact same “reward” as any other Mario game. You saved Peach. You defeated Bowser (even if he was helpful at one point). You stomped a lot of goombas, and had fun doing it. It just took days, when other Mario adventures can take minutes. I don’t want to take five minutes to show a koopa troopa who’s boss when it can take a button press.

I’ve got limited time for turtle stomping nowadays, and fifteen minutes should be the entire game, not one battle.

FGC #240 Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

  • System: Nintendo DS. This one make it to the Virtual Console? No? Okay.
  • Number of players: Despite the obvious two player title, it’s a one player affair. JRPGs, ya know.
  • Uh, dude, you barely mentioned Bowser: Well! I already talked about him a lot during the Paper Mario article! It happens. But seriously, probably the other half of “why I beat this game” is that the Bowser portions are a hoot, and he’s a lot less taxing to control than the brothers. Really, half the problem I have with these games is the “dual dodging” thing, which is why I gave up Partners in Time (with quad dodging) almost immediately.
  • Also, Fat Toads: Blorbs are adorbs.
  • FATTY!Favorite Boss: Midbus is the obvious choice here. I feel like anytime Bowser gets a decent rival, fun times are had. Okay, maybe he’s not really a decent rival, but he’s at least amusing, and I like him better than Fawful. You heard me, Fawful-fans! Your fav is one note!
  • Did you know: There are unused Yoshi voice clips hiding in the code. One would assume this means Yoshi was originally intended to have a greater role… but isn’t there already enough swallowing going on in this game? Though I would likely play a new Mario & Luigi game that explored the digestive/reproductive system of your average Yoshi…
  • Would I play again? Another situation where the article answers this question entirely. Just for the statistics, the answer is a plain no.

What’s next? Random ROB… is taking some time off for Valentine’s Day. But we’re going to have content. Oh yes, we’re going to have a full week of moderately Valentine’s Day related content. Though… probably not what you’re thinking. Come back Monday to find out what’s on the agenda for the week. Please look forward to it!

FGC #209 Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13

Here it comes!I want to start by plainly stating that I loved Lightning Returns. I played it through twice, and that’s an extreme rarity for me nowadays. I loved the combat, I loved the world (we’ll get into that), and it was still probably the most pure “fun” I’ve had with a JRPG in a while. That said, let’s look at the good and the bad of Lightning Returns.

BAD: The World is Stupid

The conceit of Lightning Returns is that all of time and space got totally fubared over the course of Final Fantasy 13-2: Serah’s Big Adventure. Thanks to a pair of nitwits and an army of monsters that are somehow the good guys, time got broken, because you can apparently only toss a moogle at a problem so many times before all of reality shatters. As a result, the world(s)(?) was reduced to a collection of easily segmented “areas”, and, with grandfather time out of the picture, people do not age. What brave new world is this!?

Except…

Only the tiniest bit of lip service is paid to the “everyone is an immortal” thing. Despite living for 500 years, the majority of Nova Chrysalia’s population is pretty indistinguishable from the average Final Fantasy population. They fritter about their days, provide sidequests, and occasionally fight monsters. Every single person is at least 500 years old, and the best anyone seems to be able to accomplish is opening a bakery. As an easy example of this nonsense, there’s a sidequest where you reunite an estranged father with his son. In 500 years, they apparently couldn’t get over their issues, but, yay, sidequest heroine Lightning is here to patch up any stormy relationships in a thirty second cutscene. I think the reward for that quest was unlimited meatballs or something. Centuries of life and potential progress, and all we got are new recipes for side dishes.

Seedy's!But the biggest issue here is the whole “end of humanity” thing. There’s supposed to be this overpowering feeling of melancholy to a world that is on the cusp of destruction. Lightning has thirteen or so days to save every soul she can find, and her first “case” is a serial killer in a grimy town filled with sorrow. It’s basically Final Fantasy meets Jack the Ripper (except ol’ Jack is hunting women with fluorescent pink hair), and every NPC you encounter is lamenting their sorry, immortal life and how nothing has any meaning anymore without procreation or aging. Boo-hoo. This contrasts poorly with…

GOOD: I want to live there

Seriously, if I could live in any Final Fantasy world, I’d pick Lightning Returns.

The first city, Luxerion, is a lame knockoff of Dickensian England, but the other big city, Yusnaan is a city dedicated to “we’re all immortal, so let’s have a damn party until the end of time”. It’s my kind of place. There are street merchants selling every kind of food you can imagine, monster battle arenas for entertainment, some kind of deadly version of Nickelodeon Guts, and fireworks every night. There are random musicians wandering around, so I assume the rad in-game music can be heard by the residents, and, added bonus, it’s very easy to avoid monsters in this area if you need a rest. The whole place seems like some kind of beautiful dream of an endless Mardi Gras, and the only drawback is that the drama club puts on the same stupid play every night. Get some new material, nerds!

FlappyAnd the rest of the world is just beautiful. I don’t mean from a “fancy HD graphics” perspective, I’m talking about how I’d genuinely want to enjoy the Wildlands if they were locally available. Probably a great place to play Pokémon Go. I figure that, sometime in the last 500 years, some immortal landscaper decided the rolling planes needed to have the lawn mowed every few days, so everything looks surprisingly hospitable for monster hunting grounds. And there is a lush and verdant ecosystem, with floating eyeball creatures and lizards the size of dogs and twelve chocobos for every chocobo eater. The concept of Nova Chrysalia is that what was salvageable from the “old world” all got recklessly smooshed together, but here it looks like such a move might improve a good deal of real estate. If anybody wants to destroy time and space in the real world to see how that works out, let me know, I’m game.

Oh, and the Dead Dunes sound like a place to avoid, but, should you own a fedora and whip, it’s totally the best place to grab ancient relics. And when you’ve got a timeline that somehow includes millennia of destroyed civilizations, that might be a fun way to while away the centuries.

GOOD: The world respects its heroes

Let’s run down what the cast of Final Fantasy 13s has been up to…

Best buds!Snow founded nonstop party town, and then retired to his private fortress to sulk for the rest of eternity. Thus, Snow has become the saddest boy in a town of happiness. This seems like an appropriate punishment for being Snow.

Vanille feels that she’s responsible for the current fate of the world because she made some poor life choices approximately a billion years before Final Fantasy 13, and turned into a colossal chaos demon, like, once. Despite being instrumental in then saving the world (twice!), she’s still down on herself, so she turned to religion. And that religion made her the new Blessed Mother. Of course, they’re going to sacrifice her on judgment day to appease some angry god or something, but she’s marginally aware of that, and seems to be okay with a few centuries of being worshipped as a living goddess. And she got a new hat, too! Score!

Fang is less than okay with the whole “my secret lover is going to sacrifice herself for the world” thing, so she’s decided to hunt around the dessert for relics that will save dear Vanille. While she was doing that, she kinda incidentally started an entire society of archeologists/bandits, so she maybe sorta rules a complete continent. Wasn’t really her intention, she did have other things on the agenda, but I think finding magical treasure is a little easier when you’ve got an army at your disposal. Also, as she points out, thanks to cryostasis and time traveling and more cryostasis, she’s 1,621 years old, but still looks to be physically in her 20s. Not bad.

Noel, the last hunter of 13-2, has somehow also become the leader of a death cult, though unwillingly. He tries to fight our main heroine thanks to a random misunderstanding involving fake oracles, and, upon seeing the error of his ways, decides to become a vigilante in a city of misery. This basically makes him Batman (albeit AzBats). Becoming Batman is what most people aspire to, so good for him.

Hope, Lightning, and Serah all become unwilling pawns in a mad god’s plan, but it could be worse, they could be…

BAD: Inadvertent Racism

Lightning and Hope might be pawns, but they’re also literally the most powerful people on the planet. Hope is a conduit for a literal god, and Lightning has been granted insane Valkyrie power to complete her task of killing literally every monster in existence. Every other main character is in a vaunted position in their respective faction (whether they like it or not), and, save the fact that Odin seems to have been demoted from “transformer” to “bird”, anybody that helped out in an earlier Final Fantasy 13 game is doing pretty well.

Except Sazh.

Sazh!Sazh is still worried about his son, who had his soul fragmented into random bits because who cares. Sazh decided to solve this problem by hiding in a broken airship in the middle of nowhere. After 500 years of sitting in a rocking chair and creepily muttering to himself, Sazh has become a legendary hermit, and his only interaction with the outside world is when those damn kids TP his hovel every Halloween. And this isn’t a Yoda situation, where he has ancient wisdom to impart to anyone that will listen; no, this is more along the lines of “if we had a bigger budget, his new model would be a naked man covered only by his beard and an afro that is hiding an entire family of bats”. When his son’s soul is finally recovered, Dajh is afraid to wake up, because Sazh has become that scary.

Couple this with his initial characterization being half totally awesome and half a lazy retread (gee, where have I seen a Final Fantasy character known for firearms and being extremely protective of his child before?), and his 13-2 role being “stuck in the neon claws of Gamblor”, I want to say that the African American community is not well represented in this Japanese RPG. Okay, maybe I’m seeing too much here, but when the entire rest of the (white) cast gets to become kings and queens, and the black guy becomes a crazy go nuts recluse… it kind of sticks out.

And, Christ, the bird that lives in his afro gets more of a role in the story than Sazh!

GOOD: Lightning kicks ass

WeeeAfter spending a few centuries in the timeout chamber, Lightning is back and kicking ass. Of all the Final Fantasy “main heroines”, Lightning indisputably is the most likely to slay an angry god. Granted, her only competition is Terra (whom Dissidia pigeonholed forever as “whiny mage”) and Yuna (“I’m sad my boyfriend is a ghost”), but, still, I can probably count the number of strong-in-the-real-way female characters coming out of Japan on one hand. Well, “strong” and also “doesn’t appear in a game featuring tear-away clothing or twelve year olds wearing butt floss”. Lightning is determined, powerful, and absolutely does not spend any of her time fawning over boys or worrying about her hair.

And, by virtue of the gameplay, she’s also kinda the most powerful character ever in a Final Fantasy game. Lightning is finally a true army of one, and is completely alone on her adventure to save the world. No party, no monster companions, no omniscient player dropping off magical abilities or whatever: it’s just Lightning against every monster left on the planet. And there’s never any “oh no you’re not man enough” nonsense, either. Right from the get go, Lightning is tasked with saving every last soul on this husk, and there’s no doubt she’s going to succeed. Lightning wholly and totally kicks ass, and doesn’t need so much as a moogle to help her.

BAD: Lightning is a robot

Unfortunately, “Unstoppable Lightning” comes at the expense of… ya know… Lightning.

I’ve mentioned this before, but all Final Fantasy main characters (and most of the supporting cast) are built exclusively for their one-and-done stories. This is a good thing! But it also means most Final Fantasy characters may be boiled down to a simple mad lib. Terra is magically unbeatable, but unloved. Squall is accomplished, but plays poorly with others. Tidus is an all-star, but can’t dress himself. The basic point of every Final Fantasy game is to save the world, but to also shade in whatever blank is afflicting the hero. Cloud is going to kill Sephiroth and stop Meteor, but along the way, he’ll learn the real meaning of freedom and, dare I say it, friendship. I believe it was Kurt Goldstein that first theorized that it would only be possible for a fully actualized person to summon a dragon that can shoot laser beams.

He's back!I mention this because Lightning had a pretty clear arc through Final Fantasy 13. Amongst… everything… happening in that labyrinthine plot, Lightning does pick up on the whole “letting people in” moral that is hiding somewhere behind the space pope. Consider that the inciting incident for 1,000 years of strife in the Final Fantasy 13 universe is the simple scuffle that Lightning won’t accept Snow as an invited member of the family. This problem quickly cascades to Macbethian proportions, and that thread kind of gets lost somewhere around Snow earning a motorcycle made out of subservient sisters, but, still, it’s there! Lightning changes and grows over the course of Final Fantasy 13, and, while she’s not some emotionally perfect being by the finale, Lightning does become a better person by the end of Final Fantasy 13.

So, naturally, they had to strip out that Lightning in time for her titular game.

This, of course, is not by accident. Like Cloud before her, Lightning had to be reduced back to her core components in order to be “recognizable” as the same badass from Final Fantasy 13 promotional materials. In this case, the story uses the bluntest tool in its arsenal (okay, second bluntest, an outright retcon would be worst), and basically says “a wizard did it” to the now overly stoic Lightning. Lightning had her emotional core/heart/Claire torn out by a vengeful god, and now she’s super sad about not having emotions anymore. But just because the story offers a reason for a character’s regression doesn’t make it forgivable. The Lightning that was capable of making good intentioned poor decisions (like, say, giving a knife to a vengeful teenager) is gone now, and all we’ve got is a mechanical war machine that occasionally comes around to “Hey, something seems off.”

So, basically, Lightning is turned up to eleven, but we lose Lightning in the process.

GOOD: Dress-up!

Here comes the wardrobe!

FGC #203 Paper Mario

Here comes something!Paper Mario proves it: We want to be Bowser.

Maybe I’m just sensitive to such thinking because of my recent “love for the bad guys” article, but let us consider the whole of the Paper Mario franchise. Recent Paper Mario games, like Paper Mario: Color Splash and Paper Mario: Sticker Star, feature Mario working together with Toads and the gimmick du jour… but not Bowser. Bowser is, like in every other Mario game that does not involve sportsmanship, an antagonist, and nothing more than an obstacle to be overcome. And, hey, guess which Paper Mario games are the least liked.

But let’s go back a little further. Super Paper Mario is probably best described as “experimental”, as its fusion of platforming and RPG mechanics simply did not work in a lot of places. But it’s also a damn memorable game, with some set pieces (like a destroyed world, 8-bit Hell, and some nerd’s basement) that seem to be wholly unique within the franchise. And, yes, Bowser is straight up a playable character alongside Mario, Peach, and that green guy. The giant lizard even gets some kind of story arc and a rival to battle against! You can’t tell me that Super Paper Mario doesn’t get extra adoration for its playable Bowser.

And then we go back a little further, to the impeccable Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. This is a game that requires no excuses; it is simply a beautiful, delightfully constructed RPG absolutely oozing with creativity and wonder. It’s a story for another article, but I would say, without question, that if the Gamecube somehow was only capable of supporting one game, PM:TTYD would still make the system essential. But that’s all fluff compared to the simple truth that the best damn part of that game is playing through the opening stage of Mario Bros. as a constantly growing Bowser. PM:TTYD was demoed for the world with two stages: a battle against Hookbill representing the “real game”, and fun times with Bowser, the event everyone reported. How did that not become an entire game!?

Winner!This brings us back to the originator of the Paper series, Paper Mario. Those of you that have played the game are probably already disagreeing with my thesis, as, come on, Goggle Bob, Bowser is the main and undisputed villain of Paper Mario. There is no Shadow Force or Mr. L or even a mysterious, last minute “I was secretly responsible for everything” monster at the end of the book. Bowser is the bad guy, he’s identified as such before even Mario is introduced, and he’s the final boss. He doesn’t even transform into some kind of Final Fantasy version of Bowser for that finale, either. He’s “Bowser, but, ya know, bigger”. I guess he borrowed a weapon from the Kirby series? That’s about it.

But consider Mario’s role in the story. Mario is, as ever, the hero. Mario ventures across the Mushroom Kingdom’s latest incarnation, and collects about 113 less stars than in his last adventure. Mario stomps on shyguys, kicks over turtle shells, and wields a mean hammer when goombas finally decide to get some headgear. Coins, fire flowers, and mushrooms are collected, and, in the end, Mario finds all the stars and saves Princess Peach from Bowser’s uncertain machinations (I guess he’s just a single dad looking for a strong female presence in his household?). For the entire world, this looks like a pretty typical Mario adventure, complete with some fireworks and parade floats in time for the credits.

But…

ShinyMario makes a lot of friends during his quest. I’m partial to Goombario the goomba and Kooper the koopa troopa, but there’s a place in my heart for everybody’s favorite manic mailman, Parakarry the parakoopa, too. Lady Bow the boo is a bit too high society for my tastes, but Bombette is to be commended for contemplating the rights of sentient explosives. Watt is just a wee baby sparky, and would probably get along well with Mama Sushi… if cheep cheeps could deal with electricity a little better. And Lakilester the Lakitu… well, I guess he tries. And that’s Mario’s JRPG party.

And you may have noticed that not a single one of those allies are “good guys”.

Mario has a pretty healthy support staff. There have been Peach, Toad(s), and Green Man ever since Super Mario Bros. 2. Since then, we also gained Yoshi(s), Daisy, and a handful of occasionally helpful monkeys. That cast has mushroomed (ha) in recent years, with the Piantas, Nokis, Rosalina, Toadette (she counts!), Wario Bros, and I guess we could even include the baby bunch. Point is that, assuming you need to fill a JRPG or karting roster, you’ve got a lot of Mario friends to choose from before you have to dip into the villain pool. Well, Wario might be kind of a gray area, but he’s… certainly helpful to the party’s wallet.

But Paper Mario is all about the villains. Okay, yes, technically every Mario ally is on the side of the angels, and it’s not like Mario had to coerce his party (too much) into joining the battle to restore wishes; but the fact remains that every one of these creatures is from a wicked gene pool. I’m trying not to be judgmental here, but forget thumbs, almost half of this roster doesn’t even have arms. I don’t see any famous pieces of art coming out of the bob-omb galleries, and I’m pretty sure that goombas are more teeth than man. Again, I commend the likes of Kooper for joining in a benevolent quest, but that doesn’t make up for nearly every one of his contemporaries being accessories to kidnapping over the years. Mario’s friends are Bowser’s usual army.

So, are you really Mario?

HilariousYou jump. You swing a hammer. You can shoot fire. And so can Bowser. Bowser premiered in Super Mario Bros. with the exact same skillset as Mario (and an endless supply of hammers rescued from an ape’s construction site). Aside from a slight size difference, the key difference between Bowser and Mario was simply that Mario was alone, and Bowser had eight levels of minions to toss at the hapless plumber.

And now, here we are: Mario has his own army. It’s limited, but they’ve got 1-up mushrooms, so Goombario is going to last longer than his usually squishy brethren. Do you really need a house full of boos when you’ve got one Lady Bow? Of course not. So now we’ve got one or two extemporary minions versus a mass of anonymous randos. We know who is going to win this one, but hasn’t Bowser already won? In order to defeat his greatest enemy, Mario has become the very thing he battles. Mario is Bowser.

And we all ate it up with a spoon. Paper Mario is the story of Bowser fighting another, slightly less-equipped Bowser. And all we want is more.

Bowser is the hero Paper Mario fans desire.

FGC #203 Paper Mario

  • System: N64, and Virtual Console. Highly recommend the Virtual Console release, as that allows one to ignore the weird visual stink of the N64.
  • Number of players: One Bowser Mario.
  • Favorite Companion: It’s Watt. There’s something delightfully… spooky regarding her incarceration as a lantern sprite, and, once she’s on the team, she shocks monsters with the best of ‘em. And she’s friends with Fuzzipede, too!
  • STAR POWER!Reused Plot: So there was a time in history when there were exactly two Mario RPGs, and both games told the story of a villain damaging the universal mechanism for stars granting wishes. Was this a calculated move to “retell” Super Mario RPG, or did no one have any original ideas? We’ll never know.
  • Goggle Bob Fact: I want to say this was the last game I bought at the tail-end of my “poor college student” phase. Shortly after I bought this game used (well after the heyday of the N64), I picked up my first “adult” job (even if I was still a student), and suddenly had enough spare income to afford things like used videogames. But I can still remember when I bought this game assuming its scarcity would only increase in the future, and I pretty much threw away my last $30 to play a children’s storybook game. I regret nothing.
  • Reused Game: Apparently the previous owner of my copy of Paper Mario was named Rachel. I cannot bring myself to delete her last save file, because there is something wrong with my brain.
  • Did you know? Every last Paper Mario support character was apparently supposed to reappear in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, but I guess they got cut for time, as only their updated sprites remain in the code of the final version. This is a tremendous loss.
  • Would I play again: This is a great game! It’s also a game that is completely overshadowed by PM:TTYD, so… Sorry.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Dragon’s Crown for the Playstation 3! Get ready to beat ‘em up while possibly nursing severe back issues. Please look forward to it!

Go nerds!