Tag Archives: ganon

FGC #434 The Legend of Zelda: The Adventure of Link

This is still the coolest part of the gameI have uncovered a startling discovery: all of Link’s problems are not created by Ganon, but the Hyrule monarchy!

Now, let’s be clear here: Ganon is not blameless in his actions. Whether you’re looking at Demise, Ganondorf, or just a bloated pig monster with an over-sized fork, Ganon is irrefutably not a good guy. Yes, he’s a thief from a downtrodden tribe that comes from circumstances, but Ganon is not the root of all evil in Hyrule. That dubious honor belongs to the royal family.

In some titles, this is abundantly obvious. We’ve already discussed Breath of the Wild, and how, had Zelda had just the tiniest bit of foresight, her kingdom would not have fallen to the horrors of technology run amok (though it is nice to see that happen to a nation where Facebook is not involved for once). Similarly, the world of Wind Waker is significantly wetter because the only solution the King of Hyrule had to the Ganon problem was to drown it and literally everything else. Ocarina of Time? More Zelda futzing with prophecies and timelines splitting off because of it. A Link to the Past? Never trust the advisor with blue, clawed hands, kingy. And Twilight Princess? That was a gigantic mess that was caused by not one, but two royal families. And then Zelda made it worse! Basically, we’re looking at the royalty being the number one reason Link can’t just sit around raising cuccos all day long, and has to actually nab a sword from some old man cave.

And while we’re discussing elderly hermits distributing weaponry, yes, this is exactly how The Legend of Zelda started.

A wizard did itEveryone knows the basic plot of the original Legend of Zelda: Ganon kidnaps Zelda, the Triforce of Wisdom is shattered into multiple pieces, and Link is the only one brave enough to save the kingdom. Or he just happened to be around. Actually, it’s probably that latter one, as it is distinctly noted that Zelda sent Impa out to find a hero, and Impa was old and wounded, and… what? Did she literally just go with the first elf she found? Dude didn’t even have a sword yet! Okay, it’s not like Impa imparted any valuable information anyway (“The Triforce pieces are out there! Somewhere! Buy a candle at Famous Cave’s!”), but this was a slapdash effort from the get-go. And why were the Triforce pieces scattered to begin with? Because Zelda had a vision of the coming calamity of Ganon, and her only solution was to “safeguard” the Triforce pieces in a series of marginally hidden dungeons. Did that make a lick of sense? No! You just give the Triforce to someone that can get the hell out of town (I hear there’s a lovely clock city just outside of the kingdom limits), and call it a bloody day. I’ve got news for you Zelda: Link was able to retrieve the Triforce of Wisdom because you hid those pieces poorly. Link was just a dude with a pointy stick, and he still managed to conquer every last dungeon and wind up with more equipment as a result of other dungeon-based goodies. Zelda, do you want Ganon to possess two Triforces and have a raft? Because that’s the end result of your stupid plan if Link had showed up in Hyrule like an hour later. And don’t even get me started on what would happen if multiple people found separate Triforce pieces. Face it, Zelda, you got lucky.

GrrrrBut there was one Princess Zelda that did not get lucky. It is canon that Link had a magical adventure where he teamed up with two different versions of himself and wore a suit made entirely out of bombs, and, sometime thereafter, the royal family of Hyrule required a bit of family counseling. The good King of Hyrule had two children, a boy and a girl. The princess was, obviously, another Zelda, and she was granted knowledge of the Triforce. The boy, whom we’re going to name Prince Don, coveted this shiny, golden treasure, and demanded the Triforce. Zelda would not acquiesce to her greedy, probably orange brother, and Prince Don was forced to take drastic action. He hired a wizard that put Zelda under a sleeping spell for generations. This, obviously, solved exactly zero problems, and Prince Don… uh… does the story elaborate on this at all? I mean… uh… he probably died angry, but he was the only heir, right? He just became king anyway, didn’t he? Totally poisoned a woman in a desperate grab for more power, and he’s rewarded with being the most powerful person in the kingdom anyway. Way to go, prince-y. Good job.

So where was the last piece of the full Triforce, the Triforce of Courage? You know, the secret that Zelda was Sleeping Beauty’ed for? Well, turns out that Prince Don’s dad realized his son was a real crumb-bum, and decided to split the complete Triforce, and hide a solid third of it in a dungeon. Sound familiar? However, this Hyrulian monarch knew exactly what he was doing. Somehow “in secret”, the King of Hyrule…

  1. Hid the Triforce of Courage in The Great Palace of the Valley of Death
  2. Populated the Great Palace with a variety of traps and monsters
  3. Placed an impenetrable barrier around the Valley of Death
  4. Scattered the source of the barrier spell into six crystals
  5. Built six temples to house alters that would activate those six crystals
  6. Populated those temples with six unique boss monsters, and a host of lesser, more annoying regular monsters
  7. And then, just for good measure, cast some weird-ass incantation that would make a hand-tattoo appear on whoever was worthy of finally traipsing through those palaces

Hey, Prince? Bad news: even if you knew where to look, there was no way you were going to make it past Horsehead and the Valley of Death or even your first Iron Knuckle. Your dad screwed you but good, princey.

And, bad news, he screwed Link, too.

GrossThe Legend of Zelda: The Adventure of Link is widely considered to be one of the most difficult The Legend of Zelda adventures. Some attribute this to the 2-D perspective being fairly half-baked, and not at all designed around Link’s butter-knife based offensive abilities. Some blame the magic system, which is inventive, but too many monsters and areas require specific spells, so you’re always running at a magical deficit. And there is certainly some merit to the claim that the experience system is opaque at best, and downright punishing at worst. How are you supposed to get anywhere when some damn flying eyeball is leeching your EXP every five seconds!?

But, no, that all pales before the real reason The Adventure of Link is so difficult: The King of Hyrule hated his son. Dude did not just hide the Triforce, he created a treasure hunt that spread across two continents. He devoted great swaths of Hyrulian resources toward building temples containing boiling lava and holographic walls. And, lest that King think his son had the slimmest chance of throwing those unlocking jewels around, for some damn reason, the King of Hyrule summoned a freakin’ fire breathing dragon just to protect one palace. And that cyclops! Where does one even find food for a cyclops, left alone satisfying other cyclopean biological needs!? The King of Hyrule went to a lot of trouble to arrange this massive undertaking for the exclusive purpose of waylaying his own son. Couldn’t he have just taken the kid to soccer practice? Shown up for a few more school plays? You have the Triforce, King! You could have just wished for your son to be a little less of an asshole! You didn’t have to construct a hover-horse!

I hate youAnd then Link got stuck dealing with the fallout of that failed royal relationship. Lucky guy, that Link. An army of monsters are trying to drain his blood to revive their piggy master, and he’s got to deal with generational family therapy for some royals he’ll never know.

It’s called The Legend of Zelda for a reason. It’s The Legend of Zelda Really Messing Up Some Poor Elf’s Day.

FGC #434 The Legend of Zelda: The Adventure of Link

  • System: Nintendo Entertainment System initially, and then the Gamecube collection, and then I’m pretty sure every Nintendo system since. Currently available on Switch!
  • Number of players: Link is going to have to deal with this mess alone.
  • Favorite Spell: It might just be a way to conserve assets, but granting Link a spell where he transforms into a fairy was certainly a bold choice. And it’s a useful spell, too! Who needs all this jumping when you can just fly?
  • No. 3 Tryforce: I like how the first Zelda sequel introduced a new Triforce. I feel like this tradition should have continued, and, by the time of Breath of the Wild, Link has to collect 25 different Triforces, finally culminating with the Triforce of Muted Apathy.
  • I WINAn End: (Almost) Always restarting in Zelda’s sleep chamber has the excellent side effect of making the ending and final scene of the game in Zelda’s temple rather thrilling. Way to work the emotions with limited bits, Nintendo.
  • What’s in a Name: This was the first Zelda game to stick Link’s name in the title. So much for being an unnamed adventurer/player avatar, Nintendo! He’ll never be the most popular protagonist in all of videogames now, guys!
  • Land of the Rising Fun: There are a number of differences between the Japanese and International versions. Seemingly the biggest change in Japan is that Gooma, the cyclops with a morning star boss of the Palace on the Sea, does not appear at all, and is replaced with a second encounter with Jermafenser, the dude with too many heads. America: land of the myopic.
  • Did you know? Ganon’s laugh is the same sound sample used for Soda Popinski in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. This raises all sorts of timeline issues…
  • Would I play again: Anyone that says they enjoy this game is a liar. Or they haven’t played it recently. Or I’m being hyperbolic, and I’m just angry at anyone that can get through Death Valley without abusing save states. So many eyeball ghosts! So much lava! I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life!

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Pokemon: Let’s Go Eevee for the Nintendo Switch! Oh boy! We’re going to go somewhere or another, eevee! Please look forward to it!

Get 'em
That is how you do it. You’re welcome.

FGC #263.1 The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a marvelous game, and, unlike so many recent games, it is amazing almost exclusively for its gameplay. There’s no third act swerve, no meta commentary on gaming, and no “we’re secretly all Bokoblins” twist awaiting the player; the magic of Breath of the Wild is simply in everything Link can do, and this amazing world he gets to explore. There are surprises (“Did… did I just tame a bear?”), but it’s not a surprise-based game. In other words, for once, it really is all about the game, and not the plot.

So, naturally, I’m going to talk about the plot.

… What? It’s surprisingly interesting!

Link is indisputably the hero of Breath of the Wild. Link must venture across Hyrule, unearth mystical shrines, free friendly ghosts, and eventually confront (Calamity) Ganon, the dark smoke piggy. Even if the player doesn’t get to name our hero, Link really is a “link” for the player inhabiting Hyrule, and, save a crushing princess or two, Link is almost entirely a blank slate. He doesn’t even have a buddy on this adventure! Kinda. You, player, are Link’s buddy, and you’re the one saying, “hey listen” when you want your elven friend to sneak around an enemy encampment instead of slaughtering the whole lot of ‘em with a stick. It’s Link against the world, and you’re his only reliable ally.

But the story of Breath of the Wild is undeniably the legend of Zelda.

If you’re worried about spoilers, don’t click here.

FGC #208 The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

You're still hearing itThere are three kinds of people that enjoy Zelda games.

The first group is those who experience The Legend of Zelda games for the story. At first glance, this might seem completely insane, as many, many Zelda games have the exact same story, but that is drastically limiting the impact the individual characters and circumstances have on each Zelda game. Yes, there are people that have taken this to extremes (have you seen the Zelda timeline? Do you remember the dark, violent days before the canon version?), but I can’t fault anyone that looks at Midna, Malon, or Marin and says “there’s my favorite character.” It might seem strange, but a lot of effort goes into each “Zelda universe” and there will always people that excitedly witness a new Zelda trailer and ask, “Oh, that’s cool, but why is Link doing that?”

The next and seemingly more socially acceptable reason to play a Zelda game is for the dungeons. In a way, the dungeons of Zelda have always been the beating heart of the series, and, when delving into those dank caverns, Zelda’s gameplay always shines. While Zelda dungeons have stuck to pretty much the same rhythm since A Link to the Past (find map/compass, find big key, find item, use item, beat boss [with item]), each one has the potential to be unique and memorable and maybe there’s a monkey fight involved. The Zelda Franchise knows that its dungeons are the draw for a lot of people, and you could probably make the argument that the whole “helper” system that started with Ocarina of Time’s Navi got its start from a simple need to help folks out with the more convoluted puzzles and monsters (and monster-puzzles). In that way, practically everything involved in your typical Zelda is in the Swing for the fencesservice of its dungeons, and that hookshot is cool an’ all, but you know you only have that to defeat octopus monsters, right? The dungeon is where Zelda lives and breathes… wait that might have come out wrong.

And then there is the third pillar of Zelda fans: those that can’t stand the murky dungeons (or at least merely tolerate them), and want nothing more than a fun overworld. Screw those limited holes in the ground, the daylight dwellers desire rivers and grass and the occasional cucco to whack. Here is where we will explore nooks and crannies for every last heart piece, and here is where we’ll find something that is a secret to everybody. My Zelda don’t want none unless it’s got sun, son.

As you can probably guess, I’m an overworld worshipper; though it may surprise you to learn that The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past contains my favorite overworld.

Damn pigsLoving the A Link to the Past overworld over all others may seem antithetical to the Zelda experience. ALTTP’s overworld Is certainly more robust than its Legend of Zelda ancestor, but once you get the proto-Zelda out of the way, practically every other overworld in the series feels dramatically more robust. Twilight Princess and Wind Waker are a clear case of no contest, and Ocarina of Time might have a big, featureless field, but it contains cow caves that archeologists have been unearthing for decades. Gameboy adventures like Link’s Awakening and Oracle of Ages/Seasons feel larger, even if they don’t contain as many pixels. The only Zelda that might contain less “walking around” area than LTTP is likely Spirit Tracks, a game where the overworld is literally and figuratively on rails. And, hey, at least that game contains a choo-choo.

But size isn’t everything. A Link to the Past doesn’t contain the most bigly overworld, but it does have something every other Zelda overworld seems to lack: It’s not a pain in the ass to traverse.

This has always been an inherent problem with 3-D gaming: the more space you can allow, the more that space can seem boring. I know there are people that love a big, open field and all the magic and wonder that could be contained therein, but I’m a…. you know what? I’m exactly like this in real life. I don’t like driving. I don’t like “getting there”. The minute teleportation is invented, the only reason I’m going outside ever again is for Pokémon Go. I pretty much live my life with destinations in mind, and everything else is useless cruft.

Here we goSo why do I like overworlds at all, then? Well, because I like finding stuff! Dungeons are cool, but 90% of your spelunking is spent finding plot mandated, absolutely compulsory “treasure”. I have never in my life wanted a small key for any reason other than opening its matching lock. Finding a rupee or fairy or two might be fun, but almost every dungeon is a sequence of escalating items that eventually lead to the boss. The average dungeon, to me, seems no different than the typical Zelda trading quest, just instead of giving the banana to the monkey, you’re giving the Wand of Dominion to the statue. Mind you, there is certainly fun in all aspects of this, it’s just not the fun I crave.

But the overworld contains those secrets that make me salivate. There’s a heart container over there! How do I get it? Do I need a new item, or do I have to utilize what I have in a new and different way? This cliff face seems a little off… I better bomb every square inch of this place. And, hm, that treasure chest seems completely inaccessible, is this a situation where I have to switch between dimensions just to get a better vantage point? By the goddesses, I adore that kind of thinking, and I could explore an overworld that makes me ask those questions all day.

But, as fun as exploration may be, eventually, it all ends. In time, you’ve found all the heart containers, maxed out your rupees, and maybe even changed color for some reason. Eventually, the overworld becomes barren, because you’ve explored every island, emptied every cave, and bottled every fairy. Eventually, the overworld is just that, the world above the dungeons you must complete, and… who cares anymore? FARE THE WELLNow it’s just a useless pile of grass that’s between you and your next real goal. Hope you brought your horse, because there’s gonna be a lot of tedious walking ahead.

And when that happens in A Link to the Past, it only takes Link 45 seconds to dash from one end of the map to the other. If that’s too much for you, there’s a bird that will carry you along. And if it’s too much to toot on your ocarina flute, then, congratulations, you’re more lazy than I am, which is a feat I previously thought impossible.

In short, the overworld of A Link to the Past is full of exploration and fun, but when I want it to step aside, it gets the hell out of the way. It is the perfect Zelda overworld.

So I guess it’s a good thing that A Link Between Worlds copied it wholesale, because I could wander around this overworld another two times, easily. Way to recognize the best thing you got, Nintendo!

FGC #208 The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

  • System: Just Nintendo 3DS, though I’m sure future generations will find it on whatever system they’d like.
  • Number of players: Link, who comes to a town, and comes to save the Princess Zelda, is alone.
  • Wait, did you just spend two posts not talking about A Link to the Past, but then when you’re covering another, different game, then you decide to talk about it? Yep.
  • Something is fishyMaybe actually talk about the game for a second: Oh, I love A Link Between Worlds, too, and predominantly because it so deftly weaves together old and new (and “new” is an astonishing feat in a thirty year old franchise). The overworld and general plot may be recycled, but the item rental system is largely interesting for normal play, and amazing on repeated playthroughs. It’s a simple thing to power-up the fire rod and BBQ everything between here and Ganon, but how about we… not do that on the next replay? Want to see how far you can get with just the boomerang? Go for it, and try not to die, in this, a Zelda game with actual death consequences. Seriously, if this game wasn’t already good to begin with, its many little perversions of the Zelda formula would push it into the “phenomenal” category.
  • Say something mean: The opening of the game is a little too talky for my liking. That is absolutely my only complaint about this game, and I should just have a save file fifteen minutes in on standby for future playthroughs.
  • Favorite item: Fire Rod will leave Hyrule a burnt out husk, but at least it won’t be a burnt out husk ruled by a terrible pig monster.
  • ShinyFavorite Boss: The Gemesaur King is the natural evolution of Helmasaur King, and it ties perfectly into the greedy, rupee collecting theme of the adventure. What more could you ask for?
  • Sacred Trinity: I love the subtle bit that Yuga is magically strong but not politically powerful, Hilda is saving her kingdom through intelligence but lacks the wisdom to see there’s an easier way, and Link’s Lorule counterpart is doing the right thing but lacks the courage to do it completely himself. Maybe I’m just impressed the story lets the player discover this reverse triangle, and doesn’t highlight it with a big, flashing sign.
  • Did you know? Link doesn’t have a tiny, chatty companion this game because Ravio stole the creature to help with his collection agency. And we’re all better for it.
  • Would I play again: This is one of those games I have to play at least once a year. Sometimes immediately after playing A Link to the Past. Man, I love these games.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Final Fantasy 13: Lightning Returns! Well, technically this incoming post was more or less chosen by the Talking Time forums and appeared there before worming its way into the FGC… but I need an excuse to take Turkey Weekend off. If you didn’t already read it, it’s new to you! Please look forward to it!

He is sacred

FGC #197 Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine

What a titleDr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine is a Puyo Pop clone with a Sonic skin. Dr. Robotnik is mechanizing the peaceful people of Beanville, and it’s up to you, player, to defeat the bad doctor and his robotic minions in a series of head-to-head puzzle challenges. Triumph, and the beans will be free to roam around and be joyful little loco roco rejects; fail, and Dr. Robotnik will utilize his new robo beans to conquer Mobius.

Feel like something is missing? That’s right, Sonic the Hedgehog is nowhere to be seen. Sonic, Tails, and Charmy Bee are all completely absent from this adventure. Dr. Robotnik gets the title, and Sonic doesn’t get so much as a chili dog.

And I think that’s a good thing.

Villains have a tendency to be more interesting than their heroic rivals. Dr. Robotnik is a mad scientist with an IQ of 300, a grandfather that tried to blow up the moon, and a revolutionary method of converting useless bunnies into robotic abominations. He’s dedicated to his twin goals of conquering the world and maybe building a shway theme park. Despite failing over and over again, Robotnik soldiers on, and doesn’t let a little thing like having his Egg Fortress obliterated get him down. Sonic the Hedgehog… likes to run fast.

And this happens in a lot of videogames, to the point that I’m now going to pit classic videogame heroes and villains against each other in a battle for supremacy (or at least top billing).

Mario and Bowser would be the obvious starting point… but that already seems kind of unfair. Mario is, essentially, a charismatic, well-liked soldier. Bowser is menacing toads again! Somebody call the one and only guy that ever seems to curb that dreadful dinosaur. PHOTO OF BOWSER UNAVAILABLEOn the other side of the aisle, though, you have Bowser, who is the king of a very eclectic kingdom. Peach rules a kingdom of funguys that are virtually indistinguishable from each other, while Bowsie corrals a mix of chestnuts, beetles, cacti, turtles (both bipedal and quadrupedal), and the occasional homicidal sun. And he somehow commands all those creatures to literally die for his cause. Peach can barely get her toads to venture outside the castle walls, and even her second best soldier is more likely to cower than conquer. Mario jumps, Bowser rules.

To be clear, I’m not saying Bowser is a good guy. He’s a very violent fire-breathing turtle monster, and his “grab ‘em by the Peach” policy should only be derided. But when you consider what goes into the average Bowser plan versus a Mario plan (run, jump, repeat), Bowser undoubtedly leads the more interesting life. But does Bowser get anything other than the occasional tennis match or RPG cameo? No! Meanwhile, Mario is munching on mushrooms on his 12,000th adventure. That mustache has to rescue… I don’t know… have we saved Candy Land, yet?

WIN!And this reminds me of another grand conqueror, Ganon, and I guess that damn Link kid, too. Ganon (give or take a dorf) must have the absolute worst luck. At this point in Zelda mythology, we know that Ganon is the reincarnation of a gigantic, malevolent demon that once threatened the very gods of Hyrule. It’s kind of a shame, then, that he’s routinely routed by a kid that herds cows. Ganon comes from an oppressed people, wants nothing but, ya know, water and other basic resources for his thirsty family, but is still turned away at the gate because a precocious preteen princess decided to tell everybody about some bad dream. He tries to make alliances with a shady sister kingdom, and his calls just keep going to voicemail until some damn jester picks up. Poor ginger tries to revive an entire mystical kingdom, and he gets a divinely-mandated sword in his forehead for his troubles. Link, meanwhile, seems to continually luck into the most powerful relics on the face of the Earth (“Gee, nice flute you got there, you say it controls all of time and space?”), and lays claim to these holy relics because… he’s courageous? Ya know, I’m pretty sure I could successfully poke some giant worm in the butt with a sword if the alternative meant death or falling off a tower. That should only merit The Triforce of Basic Survival, not Courage. Ganon fights for the good of suppressed others everywhere; Link usually only has one brunette in mind.

Speaking of generational heroes battling an immortal dictator, Dracula already has the title in Japan’s version of “Castlevania”, so I think he’s getting his due.

CRYDr. Wily, now there’s a guy who should get top billing. Screw “Mega Man” “Rock Man” or “Rainbow Man”, the true title of that franchise should be something along the lines of “Dr. Wily’s Funhouse (featuring some robot boy)”. Raise your hands if you wanted to be Dr. Wily as a kid. Thought never crossed your mind? Okay, but did you ever create your own robot masters? Design your own levels or weapons for Mega Man? Guess what! That’s Dr. Wily’s job! Dr. Light built one adaptable fighting robot, and then Dr. Wily built six death mazes and an entire castle to fight back. And then another eight levels, robot masters, and a castle. And then again! And again! Sometimes he built entire “dummy” castles just to screw with Rock-for-Brains! And when he ran out of ideas, he kidnapped another scientist so Mega Man could have even more robots to fight. And there was a soccer tournament somewhere in there! That is some insane dedication to his craft. Maybe mad. Obviously they can’t all be winners (Stone Man? Really?), but every once in a while you get a robot master choo choo or snake, and it all works out. Mega Man knows one big thing, but Dr. Wily knows many things, including how to build a fortress in the shape of a giant skull.

SO ANGRYBut I guess now we’re talking about Hedgehogs again. Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine might not be the “The Adventures of Eggman”, but it is at least a chance for the mad scientist to shine outside of that rodent eulipotyphla’s limelight. Maybe we’ll see more Eggman times in the future, but for now, we must be content with one measly villain owning a puzzle game. We’ll get that hedgehog next time.

FGC #197 Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine

  • System: Sega Genesis, Game Gear, and a menagerie of rereleases on later systems. Despite the assumed licensing issues, this game has no problem resurfacing every generation.
  • Number of players: Two player head-to-head puzzle action. Eat your heart out, Nintendo Tetris.
  • Maybe actually talk about the game for a second: It’s Puyo Pop. It’s a match-color game. It’s practically Dr. Mario. It’s also really difficult for some reason. Like, the second stage is already pretty rough with piling the garbage blocks on the player.
  • So, did you beat it: Once, on one of the Sega/Sonic Mega Collections. I want to say Playstation 2 era? The final boss is Dr. Robotnik himself.
  • Hey, speaking of villains headlining games, what about Shadow the Hedgehog: This blog does not recognize color swaps as real characters. You heard me, Reptile!
  • Did you know? The aesthetics of this game are predominantly based on the Sonic the Hedgehog animated series. The, uh, daily one, not the one that only aired on Saturdays and was super rad because Sonic the Hedgehog was some kind of freedom fighter and there was a rabbit that was also a cyborg and I think Sonic had his own Uncle Ben. … The 90’s were a weird time to be alive.
  • Would I play again: No. I’m proud of Robotnik being immortalized in the title of this Puyo Pop clone… but it’s still just Puyo Pop. So why don’t I just play that?

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Ducktales, the Wayforward version! Get ready for life to be like a hurricane! Please look forward to it!

Ugh