Sometimes you just get stuck on a strange planet
Full of a bunch of weirdoes…
Like loud, annoying families…
Their giant pets you don’t want to meet…
Everybody seems like some boogey man!
Their music is earsplitting…
You just can’t get their dances right…
The one guy that wants to help… probably shouldn’t.
Speaking of helping, their “medicine” is horrifying.
Anybody that can make you feel better is like some kind of wizard.
Because they sure aren’t seeing you clearly.
The natives don’t even seem real!
What you think might be normal… isn’t.
But sometimes you make a friend…
Snag a cool toy…
Or find someone you’d never expect.
And, remember, though all the strife.
There’s no place like home!
FGC #42 Toejam & Earl
- System: Sega Genesis, but a number of modern consoles as well.
- Number of Players: Toejam and Earl. That’s two.
- Maybe actually talk about the game for a second: Toejam & Earl might be my favorite Sega Genesis game. It’s brimming with personality, has a tendency to offer something new on each playthrough, and even has its share of unusual secrets to uncover. In an era when saving your progress was a curious surprise, this game was ideal for just picking up and seeing how much progress could be made before dinner. Nowadays, you can save whenever, actually make some real progress, and finally see the ending (which isn’t worth it). It’s the journey, not the destination. Funkotron is a lie.
- Favorite Present: Before the advent of savestates, Icarus Wings were just amazing. Now that savescumming is available, the rocket shoes blast into their own little minigame. When you’re not eternally terrified of losing hours of progress, improvement abounds.
- Always Overlooked: There’s a music video mode available to live out your MTV dreams of dancing against a funky background. It’s a fun way to spend… like ten seconds.
- Easier than Battletoads? The moment to moment of this game isn’t that difficult, but it is a “rogue like”, so a bad roll of the dice can really doom your quest from its beginning, and with no way to save anything for later adventures, completion may seem impossible. It takes a lot of luck to get off this mudball we call Earth.
- Goggle Bob Historical Fact: Like I said, this is one of my favorite Genesis games, and has been since its release. So, since I was playing it so often, my dad watched me struggle through a couple of sessions. As a result, we both casually dismiss any car accidents with a glib, “Never let Earl drive.” We’re a very cynical family.
- Did you know? Greg Johnson, creator of Toejam & Earl, conceived of the idea while vacationing in Hawaii. This explains the hula dancers… but not so much the maniacal, homicidal dentists. Then again, I’ve never been to Hawaii, so maybe I’m just not familiar with their customs.
- Would I play again? In a heartbeat. There’s an alternate universe somewhere where TJ&E has the same cultural clout as Sonic, and there’s crazy romhacks that expand on the gameplay and introduce more modern elements and interesting scenarios and… oh, I just made myself sad. I guess I’ll just busy myself with the only Toejam & Earl we got.
What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Final Fantasy 2 for the SNES… which… is Final Fantasy 4 on every other system. Come on, Cecil, you can do it. You’re an astronaut, and you’re blowing up the moon! Please look forward to it!